Anyone else here due to being an “incel”?

[Chinaski]

Such beef... it's hysterical...

This is first-class, top tier Posting.

 

[Red Scare]

Wait, this is ableism now too? Is there anything you unsufferable wetwipes will not try and illegitimately claim from others, jfc.

Short answer is that when soneone is suffering from chronic pain, a debilitating illness, sex is less a priority, to the point of it not even being a consideration amongst the other issues. This is such an obvious point that doesn't even need stating, yet you will persist in pretending that not getting laid is absolutely equal to crippling agony. This nonsense is absolutely pathetic and fully deserving of ridicule.

Sex is less of a priority, but people still want someone to be there at a time like that. I would hate to be going through debilitating illness alone.

And I didn't write that not getting laid was "absolutely equal to crippling agony", you weirdo. Such hyperbole. I think you need to work on your reading comprehension, or go back and read what I actually wrote.

Even though there's a chance you wouldn't want to risk losing another again, or if you don't want to be with someone out of respect of your late husband/wife, I hope you can find another chance to love again while you're still alive.

I doubt I will ever love anyone else quite like that again. Much like you, I feel like I have lost my whole reason for living. I used to think if I had never met my husband that I probably would have left this world a long time ago. He was really the only good thing in my life.

 

[Chinaski]

Sex is less of a priority, but people still want someone to be there at a time like that. I would hate to be going through debilitating illness alone.

And I didn't write that not getting laid was "absolutely equal to crippling agony", you weirdo. Such hyperbole. I think you need to work on your reading comprehension, or go back and read what I actually wrote.

Me: celibacy is not a suffering equal to chronic, persistent, unabating, debilitating illness or pain.

You: wait this is ableism l am very smart.

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

I doubt I will ever love anyone else quite like that again. Much like you, I feel like I have lost my whole reason for living. I used to think if I had never met my husband that I probably would have left this world a long time ago. He was really the only good thing in my life.

Ah, I understand. It does take a long time to love someone and invest in them.
Even though I've never dated, I have a friend in Arizona who I like, and if I lost her, I'd nost likely be broken beyond repair, no matter how much effort I'd put into recreating myself. Like your husband, she's one of the very few, if not the only beacon of light I have in my life.

It is a rare thing, let alone a soulmate.

 

[Red Scare]

Me: celibacy is not a suffering equal to chronic, persistent, unabating, debilitating illness or pain.

You: wait this is ableism l am very smart.

Yeah, that's not what I wrote.

 

[Chinaski]

Yeah, that's not what I wrote.

People will read your posts and decide for themselves tbh, and fwiw for all the "the more incels are hated on the more resentment it creates" bullshit which goes around l must say here that the same thing works in reverse. Originally people may engage with this issue in good faith, as l have previously attempted on this forum, yet the more they see incels double-down on their claims to supreme victimhood, suffering and persecution above all else the more those who engage in good faith are going to come away thinking, quite rightly, that it's just a bunch of whiny pricks being arseholes.

I will add here for clarification btw that thinking someone is an arsehole on the internet is not the same as marginalisation or persecution. It shouldn't be necessary to point this out however l felt it prudent to make this very clear before someone decides that right-thinking people who don't prioritise men not getting sex as the greatest suffering experienced in the history of humankind as being racist or some shit.

 

[Dot]

If grp of ppl sys "am suffrng w/ partculr issu s/ mch tht wn2 c.t.b" thn thnk thr feelngs shld b takn sersly - minimisng 2 jst 'u r jst angry u nt gt laid' = hrtfl

Socty = hypr-sexlsd - sx = abslutely evrywhre s/ cn imgne 2 nt b abl 2 jn in cn b frstr8ng bt also tht cnstnt rejctn frm intmcy & wtchng scty Njy ths actvty frm th side-lnes whlst b-ing mde 2 fl r nt gd enuf / attrctve enuf / wrthy enuf as persn mst b excruci8ng - physcl cntct = importnt

Mysgnstc wrds e.t.c r nt accptble bt if n.e.1 wh idntfies as 'incl' bcmes immdi8tly jugd & lkd dwn on thn thy wll jst gt mre hrt & lash out mre - bit of empthy & undrstndng 4 ppl gs a lng wy

Fls lke sme thngs tht ppl in ths thrd r sayng r b-ing takn out of cntxt 2 lk fr an argmnt or smethng

Ys thre r aggrssve & violnt incls out thre bt fr thse wh/ r jst strgglng - am srry thngs r s/ dffclt & painfl - isolatn = tortre fr n.e.1

 

[Gsvko]

I'm in so much emotional pain that it's actually terrifying and equates to nothing I've ever gone through physically. I never imagined such pain is possible. I understand that some people can't get it, but it's absolutely valid. We are all different, different burdens effect us in different ways. Being dismissed is ouch. I'm not entitled to anyone's empathy, just informative.

 

[Chinaski]

I'm in so much emotional pain that it's actually terrifying and equates to nothing I've ever gone through physically. I never imagined such pain is possible. I understand that some people can't get it, but it's absolutely valid. We are all different, different burdens effect us in different ways. Being dismissed is ouch. I'm not entitled to anyone's empathy, just informative.

Nobody is saying loneliness, isolation, continued rejection are not drivers to suicide and are not "valid". What is being said here is that male celibacy is not a form of persecution, is not equal to paraplegia, is not a more worthy criteria for euthanasia than chronic and debilitating illness or pain, that being unable to attain sexual intercourse is not akin to being in actual constant physical agony. It's about perspective. The empathy so ritually demanded by men who don't get sex on this forum may be more readily available if these people were able to express empathy themselves, rather than diminish and, frankly, invalidate the very severe difficulties faced by many people on this forum by equating them with men not getting as much sex as they would like.

 

[Cosmic dust]

I hate what the concept of "incel" and what incel discussions have become.

Being ugly, lonely and not sexually active is often a stigma in western societies that makes the person feel even more isolated. So, what do incels do? Go to the internet to share their pain, start complaining a lot, at some point some people become radicalized, build a rethoric, spread hate speech or dogmas. Now there even people who refer to something like "incel ideology". In some way, incel communities on the internet are making things worse.

IMO, the whole term incel and the current incel indentity should be abolished, its misleading for both outsiders and to people who identify with incel struggles, its not hard to see that pretty much every "incel" out there has bigger issues than sexual pleasure or how ugly he is.

 

[Gsvko]

When pain is not visible, putting a label on it can be helpful. Makes you feel less alone and gives you a chance of communicating. Not all "incels" are the same, it's just a word. I believe too that it's deeper than just not getting sex. Also, when someone is overriden by emotions, words can come out not as logically. It's like trying to hang onto anything that would put it into words.
I believe that those who don't portray empathy are the ones who've been denied of it the most and I would guess that some hate themselves for being like that too.

 

[hb1993]

Nobody is saying loneliness, isolation, continued rejection are not drivers to suicide and are not "valid". What is being said here is that male celibacy is not a form of persecution, is not equal to paraplegia, is not a more worthy criteria for euthanasia than chronic and debilitating illness or pain, that being unable to attain sexual intercourse is not akin to being in actual constant physical agony. It's about perspective. The empathy so ritually demanded by men who don't get sex on this forum may be more readily available if these people were able to express empathy themselves, rather than diminish and, frankly, invalidate the very severe difficulties faced by many people on this forum by equating them with men not getting as much sex as they would like.

"It's about perspective". I wholeheartedly agree with this claim. But you must clarify what you mean here. Do you mean to say that suffering can be measured on some form of objectively true "suffering scale"? And that we must alter our perspective in order to recognise that some people's suffering is objectively worse than others? If so, then your argument makes sense. We would be able to categorise various forms of suffering as objectively worse than others. We would also be able to objectively establish that various types of suffering are not equatable. Suffering A is greater in intensity than suffering B, for example. But as far as I am aware, there is no objective way to measure suffering. Without any objective measurement of suffering, then we cannot objectively state that one form of suffering is greater than another. To suggest that two completely different forms of suffering are non-equatable seems reasonable, if we are talking about the lived experience of such suffering, of qualities inherent to the suffering, or of a defining set of characteristics. But this still leaves open the possibility that two completely different forms of suffering could be equal in intensity. Exclaimer: not an incel, not defending incels: just a philosophical dickhead :)

 

[Cosmic dust]

When pain is not visible, putting a label on it can be helpful. Makes you feel less alone and gives you a chance of communicating. Not all "incels" are the same, it's just a word. I believe too that it's deeper than just not getting sex. Also, when someone is overriden by emotions, words can come out not as logically. It's like trying to hang onto anything that would put it into words.
I believe that those who don't portray empathy are the ones who've been denied of it the most and I would guess that some hate themselves for being like that too.

I just think we need a better label for that group of people, one that doesn't just refer to the absence of sex. I didn't mean to get rid of labels completely.

 

[Chinaski]

"It's about perspective". I wholeheartedly agree with this claim. But you must clarify what you mean here. Do you mean to say that suffering can be measured on some form of objectively true "suffering scale"? And that we must alter our perspective in order to recognise that some people's suffering is objectively worse than others? If so, then your argument makes sense. We would be able to categorise various forms of suffering as objectively worse than others. We would also be able to objectively establish that various types of suffering are not equatable. Suffering A is greater in intensity than suffering B, for example. But as far as I am aware, there is no objective way to measure suffering. Without any objective measurement of suffering, then we cannot objectively state that one form of suffering is greater than another. To suggest that two completely different forms of suffering are non-equatable seems reasonable, if we are talking about the lived experience of such suffering, of qualities inherent to the suffering, or of a defining set of characteristics. But this still leaves open the possibility that two completely different forms of suffering could be equal in intensity. Exclaimer: not an incel, not defending incels: just a philosophical dickhead :)

There is no scientific way of measuring "suffering", but there is no truly scientific way of measuring physical pain. Even pain clinicians are left with the fundamentally blunt tool of patient self reporting on a scale of one to ten with an aim of reducing the starting number, whilst also acknowledging that the starting number is still not an accurate measurement of pain in itself. There are different types of pain (migraine is as debilitating as severe toothache), different sensations (sharp/dull, hot/cold, piercing, throbbing, lancinating), and a completely different experience of pain from one individual to another. However, it can be agreed that all of these people are in pain. The individual suffering pain does not care for the fact that other people have experienced a worse degree of pain if the pain they are currently experiencing is the worst pain they've yet to experience and it is ruining their ability to live a full life. To that individual, a hierarchy of pain, or a measuring on a ten point scale, is irrelevant - it's a binary issue, they see it purely as a case of being in pain versus not being in pain.

All of that taken into consideration, even the person in that pain will recognise that there are yet more severe experiences of pain. A man with a seriously crippling and urgent toothache will pull his own teeth out if necessary to obtain relief, but will still realise that a person who is *on fire* also has an urgent need, is very probably suffering pain of a different type but of greater intensity, and will not go to that individual to demand Muh Empathy because he's not a total clown and he realises on human instinct alone that to draw an equation between his toothache and *literally being on fire* would be totally ridiculous.

Now we're not talking about pain in this thread, we're talking about men not getting much sex, with its recurring demand for empathy and understanding from those whose difficulties are routinely dismissed and diminished within incel threads, as we've seen here. You really don't need to establish a scientific method of establishing severity of suffering to state the obvious fact that celibacy is not as bad as chronic pain or paraplegia, nor is it in itself a form of persecution against an oppressed and marginalised group. This shit is warped, and the notion that all human suffering should be accepted as equal is a nonsense that literally no right thinking person would subscribe to.

 

[YourNeighbor]

"It's about perspective". I wholeheartedly agree with this claim. But you must clarify what you mean here. Do you mean to say that suffering can be measured on some form of objectively true "suffering scale"? And that we must alter our perspective in order to recognise that some people's suffering is objectively worse than others? If so, then your argument makes sense. We would be able to categorise various forms of suffering as objectively worse than others. We would also be able to objectively establish that various types of suffering are not equatable. Suffering A is greater in intensity than suffering B, for example. But as far as I am aware, there is no objective way to measure suffering. Without any objective measurement of suffering, then we cannot objectively state that one form of suffering is greater than another. To suggest that two completely different forms of suffering are non-equatable seems reasonable, if we are talking about the lived experience of such suffering, of qualities inherent to the suffering, or of a defining set of characteristics. But this still leaves open the possibility that two completely different forms of suffering could be equal in intensity. Exclaimer: not an incel, not defending incels: just a philosophical dickhead :)

Ah, the old "how do you know up is up and down is down?" argument. Deep.

 

[woknows]

Femcel - a community of women online who describe themselves as unable to have sexual or romantic relationships as a result of a toxic blend of misogyny and impossible beauty standards.

God damn, I must admit something, women have first-rate pr.

Why men do not reclassify INCELS as a community of men who describe themselves as unable to have sexual or romantic relationships as a result of a toxic blend of misandry, impossible beauty standards, and demands on financial success.

 

[Chinaski]

Femcel - a community of women online who describe themselves as unable to have sexual or romantic relationships as a result of a toxic blend of misogyny and impossible beauty standards.

God damn, I must admit something, women have first-rate pr.

Why men do not reclassify INCELS as a community of men who describe themselves as unable to have sexual or romantic relationships as a result of a toxic blend of misandry, impossible beauty standards, and demands on financial success.

This is in itself a hugely misogynistic post.

 

[Al Cappella]

women who have a hard time finding partners are inherently better than men with the same characteristic.

Of course they are. They tend to smell better, for one thing…

 

[Chinaski]

Oh, another white knight with shiny armor. Probably believes fairytales that women who have a hard time finding partners are inherently better than men with the same characteristic.

It's weird how the "not all incels are misogynists!! I'm an incel and I'm very nice, also respectful!!!" types are nowhere to be seen when one of them lets their mask slip in such an obvious and obnoxious way, l mean you'd think the non-misogynistic incel community would be inclined to stamp this shite out tbf but then wtf do l know

 

[...]

It's weird how the "not all incels are misogynists!! I'm an incel and I'm very nice, also respectful!!!" types are nowhere to be seen when one of them lets their mask slip in such an obvious and obnoxious way

thinking back to this insane post, left completely unchallenged:

the treatment of incels and domestic abuse victims (the female equivalent of incels).

 

[Chinaski]

thinking back to this insane post, left completely unchallenged:

I too have a few All Time Favourites of this genre but it's probably not going to down well if l derail this excellent thread by compiling them, but the two thst spring to mind are the one presenting murder statistics to prove that it's actually men who get murdered more, and another in the same thread kicking off about the emasculating wokeness of the new Gillette razor advert.

 

[lonerclown666]

People are evil dont matter the gender i always been rejected not just romantically but socially too

 

[lonleycrowdedwest]

It doesn't make me feel better that you have this problem.

I think that people can endure almost anything as long as there is hope, but the moment we loose hope even small things will break us.

I know the issue you have, as few relationships ive had casual sex always makes me get feelings for the person. It sucks because dating often requires casual sex, or you are expected to want that before a relationship.

 

[Judah]

I know the issue you have, as few relationships ive had casual sex always makes me get feelings for the person. It sucks because dating often requires casual sex, or you are expected to want that before a relationship.

For some reason I am able to separate casual sex from a romantic relationship, and that is what has helped me to enjoy these encounters quite a bit, although I usually want the love of a partner, it is not a priority need for me, at least for now

 

[lonleycrowdedwest]

This is for guys mainly. If you are an incel, never, ever tell another male about it. Lie if you must. Some of the worst trauma I've ever experienced in life came as a result of sharing my status. Mockery, ridicule, humiliation.

Shitty friends dude. I lost my virginity late and i havent had a girlfriend in coming up on four years, but my friends wont make fun of me for it, thats shitty. Friends may tease you a little, but wont fully mae fun of you for something that is an actual issue for you.

 

[Red Scare]

What is being said here is that male celibacy is not a form of persecution, is not equal to paraplegia, is not a more worthy criteria for euthanasia than chronic and debilitating illness or pain, that being unable to attain sexual intercourse is not akin to being in actual constant physical agony.

Nobody in this thread said anything like that.

No cause is more worthy than another for euthanasia. There Is no need to set up a hierarchy of who is deserving, or more deserving. As right to die advocates we believe everyone is deserving and should have access, healthy or not.

 

[Chinaski]

Nobody in this thread said anything like that.

No cause is more worthy than another for euthanasia. There Is no need to set up a hierarchy of who is deserving, or more deserving. As right to die advocates we believe everyone is deserving and should have access, healthy or not.

"right to die advocates" what kind of bullshit is this, you're not smart enough to advocate on my behalf and if you want to talk about why a "hierarchy" of euthanasia access is a bad thing (it isn't fwiw) you might want to direct it at the tedious incel who proposed the notion that men who don't get sex come first.

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

"right to die advocates" what kind of bullshit is this, you're not smart enough to advocate on my behalf and if you want to talk about why a "hierarchy" of euthanasia access is a bad thing (it isn't fwiw) you might want to direct it at the tedious incel who proposed the notion that men who don't get sex come first.

Sorry, I was a little too preoccupied with my current affairs. But, may you point out the person who implied that incels comes first for euthanasia?

I don't think it's been implied as such...

 

[Chinaski]

Sorry, I was a little too preoccupied with my current affairs. But, may you point out the person who implied that incels comes first for euthanasia?

I don't think it's been implied as such...

Am l meant to now spend time scrolling to link back to posts made in this actual thread, which you've given a solidarity like react to, so you can deliberately misinterpret it and reshape its content in order to do a weak "ACTUALLY I THINK YOU'LL FIND WHAT HE ACTUALLY MEANT WAS" gotcha post where you'll think you're smart for using the phrase "reading comprehension" here, because if so I'll just trust in the probability that everyone involved in this thread has already read it.

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

Am l meant to now spend time scrolling to link back to posts made in this actual thread

Yes.

On a serious note, I'd imagine inceldom is just about equal on a subjective standpoint.
What may not affect you too much may have a different effect and break the other person. It's the same way we all have different tolerances for different kinds of suffering, no matter how trivial it may seem to another.