Anyone else feel pushed over the edge right now?

[unabletocope]

I do. I feel like either taking an overdose or jumping off an interchange flyover, fuck SN.

 

[unabletocope]

Still feeling it. Never found a secure person in life. Everything is baseless and worthless to me now. The urge to die continues to get stronger. Hopefully I won't be slagged off as 'that mentally ill' for making this comment by other users here.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

I can relate to the feeling for sure. It's this bizarre blend of impatience and the worst kind of anxiety.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

I do. I feel like either taking an overdose or jumping off an interchange flyover, fuck SN.

Pushed beyoud the edge without a cliff to jump from….sucks ass

 

[unabletocope]

I can relate to the feeling for sure. It's this bizarre blend of impatience and the worst kind of anxiety.

I'm just so conflicted, I could jump off an interchange road up the road from me now but it means making the local news, I have some valium but don't want to use it up, xanax is on the way, SN is too much work and I've had a meal I feel bloated by, hanging makes me piss myself and feels uncomfortable, I just don't know what the fuck to do

 

[Illegal Preclear]

I feel more like I was already pushed off the edge and am rotting on the other side. I have mental and physical Disabilities whose progression went into hyperdrive when I turned 30 and no longer had youth to compensate. Now I'm 35 and completely rotted. But I've made peace with the fact that it's the end. The end comes for every living thing in the Universe and I'm not special, and so many living things got to spend less time on Earth then I've been given.

At this point - any day could be the day I do it, and I'm planning on doing it this year. I have a rope with the slipknot already tied right next to my desk. And I understand the feeling you've described - every day it's the first thing I think about when I wake up, because ANY day could be the day I decide to do it. I visualize myself doing it multiple times a day. And it is anxiety inducing because the process of taking those scary steps into the unknown void of death is anxiety inducing to EVERYONE no matter how ready they are. That anxiety is baked into our psyche on every level.

hanging makes me piss myself and feels uncomfortable, I just don't know what the fuck to do

FWIW - In a proper hanging, that uncomfortable feeling will only last 15 seconds, 30 at most before you pass out. You're putting the ligature above the Adam's Apple, right? I'd also try tying socks or rags in the front of the noose. ME PERSONALLY in my own little opinion - I think full suspension hanging is an easier way to go in both painlessness and reliability than SN.

Whatever you choose - just make sure you read everything you can get your hands on about it. Using Yandex instead of Google of course

 

[unabletocope]

I feel more like I was already pushed off the edge and am rotting on the other side. I have mental and physical Disabilities whose progression went into hyperdrive when I turned 30 and no longer had youth to compensate. Now I'm 35 and completely rotted. But I've made peace with the fact that it's the end. The end comes for every living thing in the Universe and I'm not special, and so many living things got to spend less time on Earth then I've been given.

At this point - any day could be the day I do it, and I'm planning on doing it this year. I have a rope with the slipknot already tied right next to my desk. And I understand the feeling you've described - every day it's the first thing I think about when I wake up, because ANY day could be the day I decide to do it. I visualize myself doing it multiple times a day. And it is anxiety inducing because the process of taking those scary steps into the unknown void of death is anxiety inducing to EVERYONE no matter how ready they are. That anxiety is baked into our psyche on every level.


FWIW - In a proper hanging, that uncomfortable feeling will only last 15 seconds, 30 at most before you pass out. You're putting the ligature above the Adam's Apple, right? I'd also try tying socks or rags in the front of the noose. ME PERSONALLY in my own little opinion - I think full suspension hanging is an easier way to go in both painlessness and reliability than SN.

Whatever you choose - just make sure you read everything you can get your hands on about it. Using Yandex instead of Google of course

Thanks for sharing your perspective. I think I have made some progress towards adjusting towards attempt/dying/making peace with who I am/where I went wrong/getting weaker etc etc so cool, anyone on the same wavelength is nice to come across. I've tried hanging in the past, practising it, positions, slipknot, how to go about it and its just something I find difficult to get comfortable with, I don't find it a particularly comfortable procedure whether it's full or partial and my preference is a method that I can essentially fall asleep to, hence me feeling more drawn to overdosing or if I really have to, SN. Yes I've worked at hanging, experimenting with socks and practising the positioning of it all, I just find it difficult but that being said if I struggle to get my preferred methods right I will go for hanging, I do still have two sets of rope stockpiled alongside other medications and SN. Again, thank you for the comment - despite the way I feel I am losing interest in human connection, when someone does make the effort to connect with me I do appreciate it, particularly when it comes to sensitive matters such as this. I wish you well in your direction.

 

[theboy]

me