Anyone else feel like they're the most boring person alive?

[SadLoser]

I have absolutely 0 social skills. When I speak, I stutter and mispronounce words because of my social anxiety, but honestly even if it wasn't for that, i'm just an extremely boring person. I don't really have many hobbies at all, nothing that would be interesting to anyone, I don't have many life experiences (I find that normal people's topics of conversation are often based on shared experiences), I have no unique insights or theories. I'm just super bland. Not sure if it's because i'm dumb or because i'm depressed, maybe both. I hate it when I see a person who's eager to talk to me, and then slowly watching as the spark fades and the conversation dries up entirely.

I really wish I could effortlessly conversate with others. Even with my childhood friends i'm more of a listener because I can't put together the correct words.

Anyone else in a similar situation or someone who had this problem but managed to fix it? Should I read up on current events, find what music people my age are listening to etc? This is a great source of my misery and i'd like to fix it. I'd like to be someone that others enjoy speaking with.

 

[Apathy79]

You'll get an awful long way being a good listener and being genuinely interested in people. Most people have the opposite issue to you - self-absorption and talking too much about themselves. So you can play right into that and just let them do it! It's easier to play defence like that, just asking questions based on things they say that shows your interested - most people love that.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Similar situation: Yes.
Managed to fix it: No. Any and all efforts have made it worse. I progressed past boring, and achieved becoming irritating, offensive, obnoxious, and just plain stupid. People who, out of pity, try to speak with me, soon realize their mistake and join everyone else in ignoring me. It's just a disaster so I quit caring.

 

[foreverfalling]

I've felt this way for a long time, and experienced it again recently with a group of colleagues. I'm always just sitting there listening to what they have to say and nodding my head just to show I'm somewhat participating. When it does someone come my turn to speak I'll just mumble something and completely ruin the mood.

Social anxiety can be helped by practise and cultivating a not care mentality. There may be groups you can join for activities to just practise saying hello and introducing yourself, and asking the other people about themselves. Think of it as people you may never need to see again to take the pressure off. Be more comfortable being yourself, if you are boring that's ok, you don't have to be someone you aren't.

I've personally realised I don't like to have to act like someone that I'm not. The effort I'd have to put in to be 'normal' just isn't worth it. Most of the stuff people talk about I don't really care anyway. Being around people means I'm always expending energy to try to act somewhat normal. Being alone is probably my natural state.

 

[PrismHon]

There may be groups you can join for activities to just practise saying hello and introducing yourself, and asking the other people about themselves.

Are there such groups? I think if they existed in my country (UK) I would definitely go to one! But I've never found one... and that kinda reinforced that I was a bit of a lost cause.

Sometimes I can't fully hear or I say things too quickly so it's a lot of "Can you say that again?" Nobody enjoys repeating themselves!

 

[SadLoser]

Similar situation: Yes.
Managed to fix it: No. Any and all efforts have made it worse. I progressed past boring, and achieved becoming irritating, offensive, obnoxious, and just plain stupid. People who, out of pity, try to speak with me, soon realize their mistake and join everyone else in ignoring me. It's just a disaster so I quit caring.

I don't think i'd even have the confidence to be offensive. I'm just way too agreeable to the point it's boring and it's me just saying yes to everything. I have my opinions on things, but I feel stupid sharing them sometimes. It's not like they're controversial either.

You'll get an awful long way being a good listener and being genuinely interested in people. Most people have the opposite issue to you - self-absorption and talking too much about themselves. So you can play right into that and just let them do it! It's easier to play defence like that, just asking questions based on things they say that shows your interested - most people love that.

I feel that even when i'm listening, I still can't come up with questions to ask. Like I had a friend tell me he's going to a wedding in Tunisia today, and I had nothing to say. I just said "oh, that's cool". Now that I am sitting here typing this, I can imagine a few things I could've asked but they just never come to mind in the moment. I think i'm just stupid.
If I did ask questions I know i'd make it sound like an interview. I'm totally socially inadequate.

I've felt this way for a long time, and experienced it again recently with a group of colleagues. I'm always just sitting there listening to what they have to say and nodding my head just to show I'm somewhat participating. When it does someone come my turn to speak I'll just mumble something and completely ruin the mood.

Social anxiety can be helped by practise and cultivating a not care mentality. There may be groups you can join for activities to just practise saying hello and introducing yourself, and asking the other people about themselves. Think of it as people you may never need to see again to take the pressure off. Be more comfortable being yourself, if you are boring that's ok, you don't have to be someone you aren't.

I've personally realised I don't like to have to act like someone that I'm not. The effort I'd have to put in to be 'normal' just isn't worth it. Most of the stuff people talk about I don't really care anyway. Being around people means I'm always expending energy to try to act somewhat normal. Being alone is probably my natural state.

I really should join some groups/ activities. I pretty much don't do anything with my life. I was thinking of doing MMA. I did kickboxing in my preteen years, but nothing really since except for kayaking that I did for like 3 months when I was 16. I'm 24 now, feels like it's too late.

 

[Hollowman]

Yep

 

[kitkat9234]

I'm the same. Single dead beat mom. No hobbies or interests and can't keep a conversation. Only thing I do is work eat sleep doom scroll on Instagram FB and here. Preoccupied with thoughts about CTB. I hate when people try to talk to me at work (rare) as I have nothing to say or contribute. I feel like I'm in solitary confinement (except I'm free) as I'm alone majority of my days.

 

[Meimi18]

Ahaha same, I can never figure out what I did wrong either
I don't know how other people just talk to eachother about nothing and keep a conversation going for so long

 

[Pure Vanilla]

I have absolutely 0 social skills. When I speak, I stutter and mispronounce words because of my social anxiety, but honestly even if it wasn't for that, i'm just an extremely boring person. I don't really have many hobbies at all, nothing that would be interesting to anyone, I don't have many life experiences (I find that normal people's topics of conversation are often based on shared experiences), I have no unique insights or theories. I'm just super bland. Not sure if it's because i'm dumb or because i'm depressed, maybe both. I hate it when I see a person who's eager to talk to me, and then slowly watching as the spark fades and the conversation dries up entirely.

I really wish I could effortlessly conversate with others. Even with my childhood friends i'm more of a listener because I can't put together the correct words.

Anyone else in a similar situation or someone who had this problem but managed to fix it? Should I read up on current events, find what music people my age are listening to etc? This is a great source of my misery and i'd like to fix it. I'd like to be someone that others enjoy speaking with.

if i had to give some level of advice id say start out online first off and build your way to irl after doing calls etc, irl interactions are alot harder, requires things like body language which you need to get used to so its hard to learn how to do conversation at the same time as it, second off just find ANYTHING to talk about, whether it be a documentary you watched, some game lore, literally ANYTHING, go into detail but say it in a more jokey humorous way if you can, if you cant do that then just ask questions to the other person, if they are very talkative they can do the heavy lifting and you just have to react to it, this isnt really gospel but its somewhere to start, the main issue is finding someone to talk to (also keep in mind some relationships just dont work out no matter what you try, some people arent really looking for a friend)

 

[foreverfalling]

Are there such groups? I think if they existed in my country (UK) I would definitely go to one! But I've never found one... and that kinda reinforced that I was a bit of a lost cause.

I'm referring to things like meetup groups or maybe something on facebook (not sure I don't use it). Or maybe sign up for a class that has other people in it. Or you can even get creative and practise conversation with the cashier, add an extra 'how are you?' instead of the nod.

 

[FoxSauce]

Yes online and in person.

I feel like im more boring than watching paint dry. I just sometimes dunno what to talk about or in fact get stuck inside my head of what I'm gonna say.

I still try tho trying to compensate that boredom side of myself with silliness and weirdness tho