Venting Anyone else afraid to go deeper when self harming ?

[TinySlitsThatScream]

I've been cutting myself for 5 years now, for many different reasons, always on the same areas, ends up healing faster and most of the time leaving no scars.

Though, I've always been terrified of huge blood loss (whether it is on me or somebody else, the image itself already made me pass out) and deep cuts (the same), I do cut myself, most of the time with sharp razor blades, but it's always very light cuts, and instead of going deep, I do tons of them, if not hundreds.

I do find some of my scars from accidental deeper cuts, weirdly, very pretty. Sometimes my brain wants to cut deeper, for the sake of them, and especially because my brain tends to find anything to plunge me into madness. I feel weird to want an atrocious amount of scars on my arm, when the world's screaming you it's for attention, I want them for the beauty of insanity.

Maybe in the end I was just born with a suicidal brain, always looking ways to break myself down.

 

[Jisatsu]

Been cutting for 16 years now and Cutting deeper isn't worth it as much as your brain wants to . I've cut down to the bone , hit veins and almost bled out before. You're better off hitting the top two layers of your skin just to feel something.

 

[Dot]

Self Harm Support Thread

I see self harm mentioned a lot on this forum, but never one set area for it. So I wanted to do a thread where people can come and talk freely, seek support Self harm goes unnoticed, but its a path many of us walk. Share your story, support and more here? This is not a thread to encourage...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Self Harm Resources

This post is written by @Dot, I am just the messenger Self Harm It's known that there are many users on the forum who self harm for different reasons. This thread is focused mostly on habitual or impulsive/physical self harm. This thread has not been made for any glorification of self harm...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[wonderfulheaven]

i don't know if it's being afraid or my razor just being too dull but it sucks

 

[altkey]

I've been cutting myself for 5 years now, for many different reasons, always on the same areas, ends up healing faster and most of the time leaving no scars.

Though, I've always been terrified of huge blood loss (whether it is on me or somebody else, the image itself already made me pass out) and deep cuts (the same), I do cut myself, most of the time with sharp razor blades, but it's always very light cuts, and instead of going deep, I do tons of them, if not hundreds.

I do find some of my scars from accidental deeper cuts, weirdly, very pretty. Sometimes my brain wants to cut deeper, for the sake of them, and especially because my brain tends to find anything to plunge me into madness. I feel weird to want an atrocious amount of scars on my arm, when the world's screaming you it's for attention, I want them for the beauty of insanity.

Maybe in the end I was just born with a suicidal brain, always looking ways to break myself down.

Honestly I never really wanted to go deeper than what I do, I don't like having alot of scars from SH so I just cut deep enough to bleed but not deep enough to get big scars

 

[54321song]

I'm afraid of leaving big scars so I've never gone too deep. I like the pain but I think seeing too much of my own flesh open could make me pass out

 

[FullCircle]

I've self harmed for 15 years, off and on. There are periods when it's been really bad. I had to get stitches because I missed work because I wouldn't stop bleeding. I have scars that will never go away and I have to hide them in the summer. I got a tattoo on my arm to cover scars from over a decade ago, because people would ask what happened.
It's not worth it. There are other options.

 

[sadalways]

Yeah, i personally have only done it with razorblades and a scalpel so it's kind of hard to go too deep if you don't want to but the thought of going too deep scares me. Esp because i have 0 privacy in my household and if anyone found out which they 100% would it wouldn't go well in the slightest.

 

[lifelover0037]

for me i've always try not to do deeper(likes beans), i don't have enough energy to clean or bandage them beacuse once i go deeper, i have to get stitched ,it wastes my time.

 

[DivineSpark]

I am pussy when it comes to pain, so serious harm wont happen.

 

[FoxSauce]

Thought about it but the blades i use that mostly are from pencil sharpeners are to dull to go through?

Plus I'll traumatized someone if i do

But my brain want to go deeper so I dunno