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Wouldn't that be ironic? Also it could prevent other people from celebrating your birthdays once you're gone.
Or if not birthday, maybe Christmas? I was thinking about hanging myself this Christmas, but realistically I realize I won't have courage to do so unfortunately
I thought of that when I was younger in a thought around I dunno like that would be the day to mourn instead of another day & my birthday? Tryna lessen some pain for others or smthin. Im not sure if I believe in that still but CTB on my bday is a good timeline as it's coming up in November....
Wouldn't that be ironic? Also it could prevent other people from celebrating your birthdays once you're gone.
Or if not birthday, maybe Christmas? I was thinking about hanging myself this Christmas, but realistically I realize I won't have courage to do so unfortunately
I've thought about it, but then I think that on the other hand in my situation it wouldn't be so good because it would be a date that my parents will relate to my death, I don't know, that would be a bit... out of the plan.
I thought of that when I was younger in a thought around I dunno like that would be the day to mourn instead of another day & my birthday? Tryna lessen some pain for others or smthin. Im not sure if I believe in that still but CTB on my bday is a good timeline as it's coming up in November....
I had the same thought, throughout the years when I would have strong urges to CBT, I would hold myself back because oh "so and so's birthday is coming up" or "so and so will be busy with school at this time". And I feel like I've already ruined so much for so many people so I've made the resolve to CBT on my birthday to contain any grief or thoughts related to me to that one day.
Wouldn't that be ironic? Also it could prevent other people from celebrating your birthdays once you're gone.
Or if not birthday, maybe Christmas? I was thinking about hanging myself this Christmas, but realistically I realize I won't have courage to do so unfortunately
I have sincere doubts I will make it to my next birthday. Otherwise it is a though. That said no one in my personal life gives a shit about birthday anyways. Picking the day you die is a bizarre thought though...
i tend to feel a lot of suicidal impulses on my birthday every year. it's just depressing to me. i think about how little i've accomplished from my last birthday and that i'm a year older with nothing to show for it. it's just a reminder of another year i spent miserable and hating myself.
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hermestrimegistus, bebebeep and gardenfairy
My first attempt was on my 16th birthday. Not really sure why I wanted that, but I often still think about doing it on my birthday.
I also had a friend of mine in high school who did it on their birthday. We weren't close friends so I don't really know their thought process. Doesn't seem like it's too uncommon tbh.
There were times in this awful journey where i wanted in my birthday. However, I like my month and date. I dont think its fair with my mother, it would be too selfish of me. she gave me birth that day after all. So i now will do it at another month day .
I had the exact same thought when I was a kid! I always wanted my death to be something special and there is no day more memorable than one's own birthday.
Now, I still want my death to be on a memorable day, but not exactly my birthday because if I failed, I would never again feel any joy regarding celebrating my birthday and would always be reminded of this miserable pain. Because even though I hate being alive and one could say that one's birthday is a personal annual reminder of the day all the suffering started, I still look forward to my birthday every year because, except for Christmas, it is the only special day we actually celebrate so it differs from daily life and lets me forget my weariness for a while.
I still want to ctb on a 'special' day though, so I thought about doing it on Halloween. And actually, my first attempt to ctb was on Halloween, too, so...wouldn't want to break this new tradition xD
Wouldn't that be ironic? Also it could prevent other people from celebrating your birthdays once you're gone.
Or if not birthday, maybe Christmas? I was thinking about hanging myself this Christmas, but realistically I realize I won't have courage to do so unfortunately
Not quite, but the day I have planned is 3 days before my birthday, which also happens to be 1 day before the national day of my country. I think that's a pretty neat lineup.
Funnily enough, when I was a kid I planned on getting ran over on the morning of my 25th birthday. To think of it, I'm not too far away, fortunately will be a few years sooner than expected at the time.
this is my plan. i know my leaving will cause my loved ones an immense amount of pain and grief. i struggle a lot with that thought. it's the only reason im still here after decades of suffering. therefore i will do my best to minimize the grief. i figure if i kill myself on my birthday, my friends and family will only have to mourn that one day, instead of mourning both my birthday and the day i died. it also works out because most of my family and friend's birthdays are clustered together, near the end of the year, and my birthday is at the beginning of the year. therefore the date is far enough away from other important dates that hopefully, they wont be reminded of it when their own birthdays come around.
A birthday suicide seemed very appealing to me, i considered it a while ago when I was into the symbolic bits of suicide. Considering I still live with my family though and considering they've got no clue of how things are, it'd be a very abrupt and traumatizing date for them to remember. I think it'd be a better option to do it in spring or early summer at some point to stray from holidays
I've considered it, but I've come to realize I don't want my death to be tied to my birthday (or holiday). For me it's too dramatic, and makes me feel like I would be seeking extra attention with my death, which I'm not. I would want my death to be as low key as possible, and I feel like a significant day of the year (birthday/holiday) is the exact opposite of a low key death. I also just don't care at this point of making my death poetic or something. When I was young, I fantasized about a poetic and dramatic death, but as I've gotten older, I find it silly and cheesy. To each their own though! :)
I've fantasized about doing this, or at least within the same month. That way my birthday and death day won't be 2 separate difficult days/months for grievers. It'd all be wrapped up into one month. The less reminders of me the better.
i will do my best to minimize the grief. i figure if i kill myself on my birthday, my friends and family will only have to mourn that one day, instead of mourning both my birthday and the day i died.
That's actually the date I chose. It's the first real important date I can think of. Most people don't know my birthday, so it's not like anyone would care.
I once thought about it, but I figured it would have been a bad idea since several people would have reached out to me. It would have looked really suspicious if I didn't reply back. Unless if I CTBed right at midnight, it wasn't happening. I wanted enough buffer room to be sure that I wouldn't be found too early.
The idea is appealing to me because then it would be a whole number (integer) for the times you circled the sun. I honestly somestimes get obssesed with arbitrary things such as what age would my parents say I died at if I ctb at a point that is far from the birth day, would they round up or down. If it's on a birthday, I know for sure.
Yes. My original plan involved me ending my own life before my 21st birthday. Though in the end it was only a semi-attempt which was not successful, and now here I am.
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