Anyone 35 and over?

[Romeo1984]

37

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I agree, there are a lot of young ones on here. I'm 56.

36. Interesting to hear about your backstory - kind of intrigued about where it all went wrong for you? Illness sounds like the main reason but don't want to pry.
From what I've seen so far (including myself) most people on here seem to suffer from some form of mental illness - never really occurred to me that there are probably quite a few people with physical illnesses that are just looking to CTB peacefully...

I don't have any severe type of mental illness. And I really don't have any major physical ailments. I know depression is a mental illness. That's what I have. Life, and life alone, is what has brought me to this point. Thirty years of a shitty life has brought me to this point. No breaks no matter what I did. I did what I was supposed to and still got shit on. Sometimes it's as simple as that. It's that way for a lot of people. Life's circumstances can one to say enough is enough. It can be better to just get out and cut the losses.

 

[Adamsnolife]

34. 35 in a few months

 

[NeverEndingPain]

I'm 45

 

[Trilucid]

Almost 28, wishing this thing was done 10 years ago

 

[Sm42]

I will be 43 in August

 

[Forever Sleep]

42

 

[raybd]

Actually, I'm the dead opposite of depression. I've just taken illness and the whole mess it set off as a fact of life. I mean, if you get stuck in a war zone suddenly - unless you started the war, all you can think about is, either getting yourself out safely, or ending it. I know I didn't bring on my various predicaments myself, with errant ways... so, I just kind of left it at that. Never going to get any right answers to questions like "Why me" and such.
That would presuppose there is justice and fairness and all that in the world, whereas in reality, human civilization is not one sentient, integrated whole but a loose mosaic held in place by an amount of disorder and order. Before looking for an answer, I'd verify the question is right. Here, the question is not very meaningful. So, why bother looking for an answer? Leave it at "Stuff happens."
LOL. Corollary to the above is that, I hold shrinks and clowns at a par. At least the latter are knowingly trying to be funny.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

Because there's this weird unspoken belief in the world that living is better than not living, even if living entails an insurmountable amount of suffering. There is a huge, huge importance placed on consciousness. Not even being able to move or have any sort of bodily autonomy. Just consciousness. If you're dying, either through your own attempt or accident, and they save you enough where you're some locked-in but breathing paralysed body they consider it a success and that they've saved you from some terrible, terrible fate.
People don't care that you can't talk, can't move, can't communicate. They, for some reason, think that because you are conscious you are happy to not be dead. The only way to 'convert' people to accept assisted dying and suicide is for them to have gone through unimaginable suffering themselves.

The song "One" by Metallica comes to mind. It's dark as fuck, but it's a masterpiece.

 

[suicidesheep31]

Just turned 38.
Sometimes, I forget my age. I tend to add 1 year and then realise I am younger. And it feels good.
I had some years where I was feeling ok.
I am getting old and my body express it.
The childhood neglect does not help to know what I need to take care of myself.
I try to keep going and oscillate between hope and despear.

 

[Anonymus]

Actually, I'm the dead opposite of depression. I've just taken illness and the whole mess it set off as a fact of life. I mean, if you get stuck in a war zone suddenly - unless you started the war, all you can think about is, either getting yourself out safely, or ending it. I know I didn't bring on my various predicaments myself, with errant ways... so, I just kind of left it at that. Never going to get any right answers to questions like "Why me" and such.
That would presuppose there is justice and fairness and all that in the world, whereas in reality, human civilization is not one sentient, integrated whole but a loose mosaic held in place by an amount of disorder and order. Before looking for an answer, I'd verify the question is right. Here, the question is not very meaningful. So, why bother looking for an answer? Leave it at "Stuff happens."
LOL. Corollary to the above is that, I hold shrinks and clowns at a par. At least the latter are knowingly trying to be funny.

One of the big mistakes is giving us more importance than we have.
"Why me? Why me?
"And who told you it was you?" "
?????

We are only aware, but we are not used to understanding (or accepting) our irrelevance in the EVERYTHING.

Badly asked questions are built on the basis of erroneous basics or foundations about ourselves.

At least we can enjoy the knowledge that is presented to us ... even though we don't know how to do it.

Note: I confess that it was very difficult for me to understand what you meant and I tried several translators. I hope my comment makes sense to you.

Spoiler: Original Text

Un dels grans errors es donar-nos més importància de la que tenim..
" -Per què jo? per què a mi?
- I a tu qui t'ha dit que es tracta de tu? "
?????

Només som conscients, però no acostumem a entendre (o acceptar) la nostra irrellevància en el TOT.

Les preguntes mal plantejades ho són pel fet de construír-les a partir de bases o fonaments errònis sobre nosaltres mateixos.

Almenys podem gaudir del coneixement que s'ens presenta... tot i que no sabem com fer-ho.

Nota: Confeso que m'ha costat molt entendre el que volies dir i he provat diversos traductors. Espero que el meu comentari tingui sentit per tu.

 

[Blue_mist]

Turning 39 June 19th

 

[raybd]

One of the big mistakes is giving us more importance than we have.
"Why me? Why me?
"And who told you it was you?" "
?????

We are only aware, but we are not used to understanding (or accepting) our irrelevance in the EVERYTHING.

Badly asked questions are built on the basis of erroneous basics or foundations about ourselves.

At least we can enjoy the knowledge that is presented to us ... even though we don't know how to do it.

Note: I confess that it was very difficult for me to understand what you meant and I tried several translators. I hope my comment makes sense to you.

Spoiler: Original Text

Un dels grans errors es donar-nos més importància de la que tenim..
" -Per què jo? per què a mi?
- I a tu qui t'ha dit que es tracta de tu? "
?????

Només som conscients, però no acostumem a entendre (o acceptar) la nostra irrellevància en el TOT.

Les preguntes mal plantejades ho són pel fet de construír-les a partir de bases o fonaments errònis sobre nosaltres mateixos.

Almenys podem gaudir del coneixement que s'ens presenta... tot i que no sabem com fer-ho.

Nota: Confeso que m'ha costat molt entendre el que volies dir i he provat diversos traductors. Espero que el meu comentari tingui sentit per tu.

ooh! Many translators didn't translate me clearly? That's so flattering! And very funny!

 

[NothingElseMatters]

30 in less than a week

 

[headwood]

40.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Turning 40 later this year.

First thought about suicide at 13.
First made a plan at 19.
Other major bouts of ideation at 24, 29, and 32.
Been consistently suicidal for the last 3-4 years now.
But sadly, still here.

 

[MaybeThisTime]

28 here

 

[wanttodie]

58

 

[beefbaby]

38. Waddup?

 

[Pol]

35

 

[Huntfish34]

38

 

[lonewolf22]

40...suicidal for 20 years. Originally from Pakistan and technically an Indian.

 

[CTBgenuine]

I'm 35 in July! I completely understand because everyone seems young and angsty here and it's difficult to relate to that

34. 35 in a few months

Same and BEACHY HEAD

 

[raybd]

On an entirely different note, my third bottle of SN arrived today. If I do check out this time as planned, my one regret will be missing the FIFA WC. As I like to say, life is what happens between two World Cups. Strangely enough for an American, I'm likelier to be a soccer pub than a sports bar. May be due to my "globe-trotting" years? WC, I'd move into a favorite soccer pub for a month. I have always been skeptical of club football, because what's happening with Man City and PSG -"buy everyone up"- was always a chance. But, "national" soccer - there was an element of chance and passion: think how Hungary in the 50s, Dutch Total Football and of course ol' Brazil pleased everyone. But now with FIFA marketing everything more than Coke and Pepsi - even that's going downhill.

Holding it over in the desert, even the year-end heat is madness. It's like "may be least dehydrated man win!" than "May be best team win!" If it were to start in its usual time in June-July, I'd delay my exit long enough.

Here is my history in World Cups:
1986: Was too young to watch. But caught the Hand of God and highlights on tape.
1990: What is a Cameroon? Everyone went. Roger Mila. Sub-par Brazil. The Dutch dream team wilted against "always efficient" Germany. Andreas Breheme.
1994: Probably the most unspectacular cup I've seen. Romario, Bebeto, Baggio... was like one of those package tours.
1998: That Michael Owen goal. What's name getting kicked off for kicking while down right under ref's nose. The Dutch. Bergkamp not much, but the de Boers. Somehow didn't make it. I'd just been hired by a Dutch company... Thuram. Brazil out to have won... but France did play well... and Ronaldo - that mystery illness before the final. Like the bookies spiked his food or something. A good cup in most ways.
2002: Now, that was something. Unfancied Germans somehow in the finals. Turkey and Korea have a dream. And Rivaldo. Rivaldo. Rivaldo. Brazil were streets ahead. Deserving winners in my book.
2006: Messy finish. Another Zidane flare up. Brazil dream team wasn't gelling, you could see that even before the QF. Didn't like how the Italians won it. Less football more gamesmanship.
2010: Strange experience for everyone I suppose. Unpredictable Jabulani ball. Tiki-taka play. Spain won as expected. Watchable WC but, largely went by script excepting may be the Suarez incident and few others.
2014: I thought not going to Brazil for the "Brazil WC" would be the greatest regret of my life. But... looks like Brazil the nation, was a mess by then... hardly the happy place 10 years earlier.... Lula-Dilma ouster... the favelas controversy and all that... over-packaged event... undercooked Brazil team... shambolic largely. And of course, the German youth machine had matured, and won. Who'd deny them their win? In my reading, 2006 was when it started getting away from being about the game to about politics and marketing. By 2014, too glaring.
2018: Some games were fun. Even some unfancied teams holding their own was nice to watch. And the two GOATs again not getting their respective teams a cup. Also showed how far ahead the European teams are, and how Euro-centric the game has become. German implosion. Spanish fading. French suddenly seemed a colossus. Brazil getting more unwatchable with you-know-who's antics. Even WCs, thanks to Fifa overselling and Eurocentric play due to club football, have kind of brought a monotony to the WCs.
2022: Haven't caught a single qualifier game... life's issues have caught up. The WC finals.... don't plan to be around :)

 

[1227rana]

40

 

[knux]

35. My life peaked a long time ago and I'm just tired of existing now.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I am 39 and I don't feel like an adult at all.

 

[Sunset Limited]

45

 

[Lost Magic]

38, about to turn 39. Now that I am in the process of writing my will and I have my N, I want to be gone this year. I gave life a shot, reached this age, but everything has now become too much and I don't feel like reaching that big 40 milestone after years of agonising suffering. However, anybody who can find a new way of living (to quote Barbra Streisand's song lol) good luck! I hope things go better for you than it did me.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

If I do check out this time as planned, my one regret will be missing the FIFA WC.

Thats actually going to be one of my biggest regrets too. I have many of the same WC memories. Just the other day I found my old Ladybird WC books.

38, about to turn 39. Now that I am in the process of writing my will and I have my N, I want to be gone this year. I gave life a shot, reached this age, but everything has now become too much and I don't feel like reaching that big 40 milestone after years of agonising suffering. However, anybody who can find a new way of living (to quote Barbra Streisand's song lol) good luck! I hope things go better for you than it did me.

I feel much the same. I've had two failed attempts and regret every day I'm forced to keep going. On my 39th birthday I made a pledge not to make it to my 40th. No set ctb date; just a general guideline. We'll see if that works.