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AlexKy

AlexKy

Member
Dec 16, 2021
78
I have been there many time. Just not able to take next step.
I hate that I'm 30 and acting like I'm 5. it's like I'm afraid of the dark. It's just a step as you say, but it's hard to do.
 
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fox_wannabe

fox_wannabe

Enlightened
Jul 7, 2021
1,112
I hate that I'm 30 and acting like I'm 5. it's like I'm afraid of the dark. It's just a step as you say, but it's hard to do.
You don't act like 5. Suicide is hardest shit ever. only 1 in 20 dies from It. I tried so many times and it crushed me too.

Maybe you can stay for longer like me. Look how much posts do I have while not being able to kill myself. I am bit pathetic
 
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AlexKy

AlexKy

Member
Dec 16, 2021
78
You don't act like 5. Suicide is hardest shit ever. only 1 in 20 dies from It. I tried so many times and it crushed me too.

Maybe you can stay for longer like me. Look how much posts do I have while not being able to kill myself. I am bit pathetic
Yes. but it's something of who you are, there is something you leave behind. It's not for nothing. Somebody said to me a man should live as long as he ought to, not as long as he wants to.
 
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T

Ta555

Enlightened
Aug 31, 2021
1,317
You don't act like 5. Suicide is hardest shit ever. only 1 in 20 dies from It. I tried so many times and it crushed me too.

Maybe you can stay for longer like me. Look how much posts do I have while not being able to kill myself. I am bit pathetic
None of you are pathetic. I wouldn't be able to take that step without some sort of medication or passing out first either. Hanging, despite being lethal and reliable, is a scary way to die. Full suspension is my method but I want to be unconscious before it even starts :(
 
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fox_wannabe

fox_wannabe

Enlightened
Jul 7, 2021
1,112
Yes. but it's something of who you are, there is something you leave behind. It's not for nothing. Somebody said to me a man should live as long as he ought to, not as long as he wants to.
It is for nothing. Sorry. There is nothing here worth our pain.

Do I tell you all the things that made me give up on life or do you want to stay here longer, because maybe showing my views is not right thing to do here.
None of you are pathetic. I wouldn't be able to take that step without some sort of medication or passing out first either. Hanging, despite being lethal and reliable, is a scary way to die. Full suspension is my method but I want to be unconscious before it even starts :(
It is scary, but so is sn, my way. I will need so much strength in last 15 minutes. I need to escape
 
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Ta555

Enlightened
Aug 31, 2021
1,317
It is for nothing. Sorry. There is nothing here worth our pain.

Do I tell you all the things that made me give up on life or do you want to stay here longer, because maybe showing my views is not right thing to do here.

It is scary, but so is sn, my way. I will need so much strength in last 15 minutes. I need to escape
Yeah I've given up on SN as a method. It sounds horrible. I'm trying to figure out how I can make myself unconscious or very very drowsy just before hanging.
 
fox_wannabe

fox_wannabe

Enlightened
Jul 7, 2021
1,112
Yeah I've given up on SN as a method. It sounds horrible. I'm trying to figure out how I can make myself unconscious or very very drowsy just before hanging.
I am afraid I cannot give any tips nor If I could. I know It is terrible. I was thinking about hanging but I can't.

And I cannot let myself play around with methods. And it is too late for me too look for N or for trees to hang from, all trees in my forest are straight af and I cannot find one with right height or support.

I need to bare the suffering of Sn because staying here will be much worse. I Have to do this. I Have to. I just cannot live in this way anymore and I cannot change world I live in. It is too violent for me here.
 
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Ta555

Enlightened
Aug 31, 2021
1,317
I am afraid I cannot give any tips nor If I could. I know It is terrible. I was thinking about hanging but I can't.

And I cannot let myself play around with methods. And it is too late for me too look for N or for trees to hang from, all trees in my forest are straight af and I cannot find one with right height or support.

I need to bare the suffering of Sn because staying here will be much worse. I Have to do this. I Have to. I just cannot live in this way anymore and I cannot change world I live in. It is too violent for me here.
I'm sorry you're suffering so much. If you want we can talk in PM or in the suicide questions forum :)
 
fox_wannabe

fox_wannabe

Enlightened
Jul 7, 2021
1,112
I'm sorry you're suffering so much. If you want we can talk in PM or in the suicide questions forum :)
I mean.. It is not appropriate for me to give you advice. I mean it would be hard on my soul.
I already have to make my family grief and rip their illusions to pieces.
But I made thread about hanging and I almost died from hanging myself (partial). You loose consciousness so fast
 
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Ta555

Enlightened
Aug 31, 2021
1,317
I mean.. It is not appropriate for me to give you advice. I mean it would be hard on my soul.
I already have to make my family grief and rip their illusions to pieces.
But I made thread about hanging and I almost died from hanging myself (partial). You loose consciousness so fast
Sorry I didn't mean let's PM so you can give me advice, I just meant general talk. I think I know all there is to know about full suspension. I've read every thread here and also other resources on the net.
 
O

Onkyo74893

Member
Dec 11, 2021
94
I'm sorry you're suffering so much. If you want we can talk in PM or in the suicide questions forum :)
I was so seriously thinking about the CO way, I looked at charcoal grills in a department store yesterday. It freaked me out just looking at them. I take that as a Q that I'm not ready yet. But as others in this string have mentioned, when I do decide it's time, I'll need to be intoxicated. A few Xanax and a few drinks should put me in the right frame of mind. And if my small room is already full of CO when I enter, I should pass out in less than ten minutes.
 
Muse

Muse

Member
Dec 23, 2021
67
I would like to die so badly right now. Been in my bed all day long... can't do anything, I'm just paralyzed and tired. I don't wanna go to work on Monday, I just can't...real life is horror.
 
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sickofbeinghere

sickofbeinghere

sad girl
Oct 27, 2021
56
I would like to die so badly right now. Been in my bed all day long... can't do anything, I'm just paralyzed and tired. I don't wanna go to work on Monday, I just can't...real life is horror.
im so sorry... I relate and I hope you can feel better soon. tomorrow's a new day. even if it takes 60 days to feel better, maybe on the 61st day you might wake up happy. its always a chance :)
 
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Muse

Muse

Member
Dec 23, 2021
67
im so sorry... I relate and I hope you can feel better soon. tomorrow's a new day. even if it takes 60 days to feel better, maybe on the 61st day you might wake up happy. its always a chance :)
I would like to believe but things are getting worse and worse as time pass... I don't know why, I tried, I tried so much but life always reminds me there is no place or love for me in this world.
I appreciate your message and being on this forum is a real solace for me.
 
Crazy4u

Crazy4u

Enlightened
Sep 29, 2021
1,318
I'm posting to check on you. How are you feeling now?
 
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AlexKy

AlexKy

Member
Dec 16, 2021
78
I'm posting to check on you. How are you feeling now?
If you're referring to me, I feel super tired, with a huge headache; I think from compressing my neck multiple times today. It's nothing that a few hours rest can't fix tough.
Please allow me to extend my thanks for your kindness my lady, it made my heart flicker a spark of joy, because somebody is concerned about me.
 
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W

waitingforrest

Elementalist
Dec 27, 2021
842
Same, I really don't want another year. New year's? More like Same old s**t year's. Honestly, I'm not even surprised if next year is worse. I might come out to my family just to see how they react. Might give me more fuel to do it.

Whoa, uh. That got a bit dark. I guess my resolution is to recover then?
 
O

Onkyo74893

Member
Dec 11, 2021
94
I would like to believe but things are getting worse and worse as time pass... I don't know why, I tried, I tried so much but life always reminds me there is no place or love for me in this world.
I appreciate your message and being on this forum is a real solace for me.
I know how you feel Muse. I spend most hours of my days in bed. Whether sleeping or awake. I'm in good physical health, there's no practical reason I shouldn't get up. But due to severe depresssion, I stay in bed until 11 or noon. If I had a job, as you do, I'd at least have a reason to get up. When I did have a job, at least I knew I had some social contact with my co-workers.
 
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Crazy4u

Crazy4u

Enlightened
Sep 29, 2021
1,318
If you're referring to me, I feel super tired, with a huge headache; I think from compressing my neck multiple times today. It's nothing that a few hours rest can't fix tough.
Please allow me to extend my thanks for your kindness my lady, it made my heart flicker a spark of joy, because somebody is concerned about me.

Yes, I was checking on you. I'm glad I could bring some joy :) I hope you feel better tomorrow
Same, I really don't want another year. New year's? More like Same old s**t year's. Honestly, I'm not even surprised if next year is worse. I might come out to my family just to see how they react. Might give me more fuel to do it.

Whoa, uh. That got a bit dark. I guess my resolution is to recover then?

I was feeling the same way: 2022 will be worse. I feel calm now. Happy New Year you you. If you feel like it, talk to your family
 
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GentleJerk

GentleJerk

Carrot juice pimp.
Dec 14, 2021
1,372
Man OP, I wish you didn't have to go through this. Really, if I had a solution I would give it to you in a heartbeat. I hope things end well
And it is too late for me too look for N
No it's not! Why do you say that?
 
peepo

peepo

Member
Nov 11, 2021
75
I am going to try tonight. I have failed a lot of times in the past couple of months and probably will fail today.
Well I was right. I failed again. I fucking have to see 2022.

I will have to use the good ole hanging method. Just have to find the location.
 
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Ta555

Enlightened
Aug 31, 2021
1,317
Well I was right. I failed again. I fucking guess I have to see 2022.

I will have to use the good ole hanging method. Just have to find the location.
Why do you have to use hanging?
 
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Chovyfan

Member
Dec 31, 2021
29
I was actually planning on leaving in a week or two...

But I didn't get a chance to write down every step of the method and now everything is locked and gone because of the pro lifers...

Sigh I just don't know what to do anymore. I hate everything.
 
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peepo

peepo

Member
Nov 11, 2021
75
Why do you have to use hanging?
It has been a reliable method. You just need a strong rope and a good mounting point.

I may try SN if I find a reliable source. If anyone has one please pm.
 
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Chovyfan

Member
Dec 31, 2021
29
SN was my planned method. If anyone has information about it please pm me too.
 
AlexKy

AlexKy

Member
Dec 16, 2021
78
Well I was right. I failed again. I fucking have to see 2022.

I will have to use the good ole hanging method. Just have to find the location.
I'm so sorry. I hope things will get better for you soon, and live happy moments in return, because I think you had enough of grief and sorrow.
 
X

xyzblahh

Member
Dec 22, 2021
48
If you're referring to me, I feel super tired, with a huge headache; I think from compressing my neck multiple times today. It's nothing that a few hours rest can't fix tough.
Please allow me to extend my thanks for your kindness my lady, it made my heart flicker a spark of joy, because somebody is concerned about me.
Hey, you know, I did the exact same thing yesterday. Also ended up super tired with a headache and what felt like a lot of pressure behind my eye. Was hoping for some sort of blood clot to take me out during the night (probably not realistic but w/e).

Still here unfortunately
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,521
I never want to exist and every day I would like to sleep forever, but of course suicide is very difficult. If only it was easier to leave. I have been suicidal for a long time, but yet I am still here. I understand it is hard to carry on when you are suffering so much, living is very painful.
 
Crazy4u

Crazy4u

Enlightened
Sep 29, 2021
1,318
It is too expensive and i am scared of police and scammers. I do not have so much money at my disposal.
this is very sad to read. I watched some suicide attempts on youtube in the last few weeks. It is sad to see the bastards who force someone to stay alive by stopping them. They call themselves heros!!!!! Staying alive shouldn't be an obligation
 
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