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Yeet_Me_Away

Yeet_Me_Away

Member
May 19, 2024
28
Every day, I live like the last thing I eat or drink or watch or do could be the last before I CTB - I'm pretty much that close to executing the plan. It weirdly helps me get through the day but not being able to set an exact date just yet due to risk of being found makes me a bit anxious.

Anybody else living literally hour by hour until the window opens to execute and CTB?
 
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WaitingForMyRide

WaitingForMyRide

Order out of chaos
Sep 6, 2022
114
I can relate. I treat every meal and drink like it could be my last. I even savor a glass of water these days. I'm at the end of my rope currently. I'm only here because of my mother because it would kill her to see her baby boy hanging from a rafter or ceiling beam. My pain will overcome my feelings and will eventually lead to my demise.
 
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lkjhgfdsa1

lkjhgfdsa1

🖤
Apr 17, 2024
442
yea^^ every day
after years of restricted eating due to ed, I now let myself indulge a little bit because I know it will end soon and there is no reason to restrict anymore
 
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divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Visionary
Jan 1, 2024
2,376
I keep spending my money on eating out and stuff i dont need cause in the end it doesnt matter
 
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Yeet_Me_Away

Yeet_Me_Away

Member
May 19, 2024
28
I'm only here because of my mother because it would kill her to see her baby boy hanging from a rafter or ceiling beam. My pain will overcome my feelings and will eventually lead to my demise.
I really felt this; also just hanging on by a thread for a few loved ones but our threads will tear completely eventually
yea^^ every day
after years of restricted eating due to ed, I now let myself indulge a little bit because I know it will end soon and there is no reason to restrict anymore
I'm happy you can indulge and savour some before you call it a day. I know the feeling of restricted eating but moreso due to deep depression
I keep spending my money on eating out and stuff i dont need cause in the end it doesnt matter
This reminds me of a Reddit post where someone asked "What do people do before CBT?" and someone responded "(financial) bankruptcy" :')
 
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