Fear and anxiety is one of my baser reasons for wanting to end it. Fear of being alone, getting sick with no help, suffering of old age. Caring less and acceptance is probably how I deal with it.
I've had panic attacks over these fears before, and they aren't pleasant, and ultimately they don't help at all. Realising this helps prevent further panic attacks; it is useless to panic and won't change anything anyway, so just accept whatever happens. There's no escaping fate, every human is doomed to face suffering.
The constant fear and anxiety has also actually made me a bit numb. I think the body just gets tired or used to all the anxiety, I feel like a caged animal that has no hope of leaving.
Otherwise it's thinking about CTB and distracting myself with addictions.
