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Dirge10

Member
Jul 2, 2026
17
So my main reason to ctb is sleep anxiety. I am nervous going to sleep, just as I would fall asleep, a sudden onset anxiety keeps me awake. Insomnia is making me having panick attacks, even more severe anxiety and now I just worry through the day, fearing another sleepless night. Insomnia created severe depression. I lost my well paying job I loved because of not being able to work. Sleep anxiety ruined my life and now I just want to ctb. I have SN and all necesarry supplements. So its just a question of when to take the final step...
 
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00ps

00ps

he/they | t-boy puppy
Jul 1, 2026
40
Oh yeah I struggle a ton. I suspect I have insomnia and nightmare disorder. Sleep deprivation massively fucks my life up. There was one whole week where I didn't have any nightmares and I was actually able to sleep and stay asleep and that week was fucking crazy. It was like I had life and I gained a pep in my step. But yeah, you're not alone with sleep struggles and sleep anxiety. I have such high anxieties about going to sleep because I know it's going to take me forever and then even when I do I know I'll be plagued with nightmares and wake up panicking. You're 100% not alone in the sleep stuff though
 
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DeadManLiving

DeadManLiving

Ticketholder
Sep 9, 2022
628
The night terrors are unbearable.
 
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Dirge10

Member
Jul 2, 2026
17
Oh yeah I struggle a ton. I suspect I have insomnia and nightmare disorder. Sleep deprivation massively fucks my life up. There was one whole week where I didn't have any nightmares and I was actually able to sleep and stay asleep and that week was fucking crazy. It was like I had life and I gained a pep in my step. But yeah, you're not alone with sleep struggles and sleep anxiety. I have such high anxieties about going to sleep because I know it's going to take me forever and then even when I do I know I'll be plagued with nightmares and wake up panicking. You're 100% not alone in the sleep stuff though
I am sorry you also struggle with it. Do you want to ctb because of insomnia? Sleep anxiety ruined my life basically. Everything was perfect and all of a sudden, at age 36 I developed sleep anxiety and now 3 years have passed and I just had enough...
 
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00ps

00ps

he/they | t-boy puppy
Jul 1, 2026
40
I am sorry you also struggle with it. Do you want to ctb because of insomnia? Sleep anxiety ruined my life basically. Everything was perfect and all of a sudden, at age 36 I developed sleep anxiety and now 3 years have passed and I just had enough...
I have a ton of reasons but sleep is absolutely one of them. Not having that time to recharge has been so beyond detrimental.

If you're looking for solutions, Melatonin and Trazodone is a good way to start. I gain immunity to it so I have to take a break after a month or two for a few days. Melatonin does make nightmares worse but it help me start to sleep and then Trazodone sometimes helps with keeping me asleep. Obviously not well enough for me (from my research, and interest in disorders & medications, I think I just got hella unlucky and got the worst levels of sleep disorders lol) but for people who have lower levels of sleep problems I'm sure it'd be way more helpful
Obviously not pushing you (or anyone) to try medications or stuff but it's always good to have info out there
 
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sadbh—itstimetogo🤎

sadbh—itstimetogo🤎

Arcanist
Apr 4, 2026
478
I definitely have insomnia, a fucked up sleep schedule without sleep meds, and am afraid of falling asleep since I was 15. So now I subconsciously avoid it. This has resulted in me not falling asleep until 7-9am sometimes, and then impacting work 🥲
 
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Dirge10

Member
Jul 2, 2026
17
I have a ton of reasons but sleep is absolutely one of them. Not having that time to recharge has been so beyond detrimental.

If you're looking for solutions, Melatonin and Trazodone is a good way to start. I gain immunity to it so I have to take a break after a month or two for a few days. Melatonin does make nightmares worse but it help me start to sleep and then Trazodone sometimes helps with keeping me asleep. Obviously not well enough for me (from my research, and interest in disorders & medications, I think I just got hella unlucky and got the worst levels of sleep disorders lol) but for people who have lower levels of sleep problems I'm sure it'd be way more helpful
Obviously not pushing you (or anyone) to try medications or stuff but it's always good to have info out there
Thank you for your kind words and suggestions. I am also taking medications for the insomnia: amitriptyline (not sure of the exact spelling) which is an oldschool antidepressant. It worked well for some time in making me sleep but now I am on max dose and does nothing. So I take clonazepam for sleep, which is a benzo so i am probably addicted to it by now.
 
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00ps

00ps

he/they | t-boy puppy
Jul 1, 2026
40
Thank you for your kind words and suggestions. I am also taking medications for the insomnia: amitriptyline (not sure of the exact spelling) which is an oldschool antidepressant. It worked well for some time in making me sleep but now I am on max dose and does nothing. So I take clonazepam for sleep, which is a benzo so i am probably addicted to it by now.
That's real rough. It sucks that it's not working well. I hate that the body just gets used to meds over time
 
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R

Rando337595

Member
Jun 29, 2026
6
Yes this is me. Also have a good life except for sleep anxiety. I can't function because I can't sleep and have rolling panic attacks throughout the day. Haven't been able to work or socialise. My body is trapped in fight or flight all day and all night.
 
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Dirge10

Member
Jul 2, 2026
17
Yes this is me. Also have a good life except for sleep anxiety. I can't function because I can't sleep and have rolling panic attacks throughout the day. Haven't been able to work or socialise. My body is trapped in fight or flight all day and all night.
I know, this really is the reason why i wanna ctb.
 
limenlux

limenlux

Impermanent
Jul 12, 2026
136
This has been a recent development for me as well. I've been experiencing heart palpitations for the last few months from a health issue that always seem to trigger at bedtime. At one point, I was taking amitriptyline and propanolol for my neurological disorder, which helped me sleep quite well. They weren't alleviating my neurological symptoms, though, so I was taken off of both and my sleep quality has declined ever since.

It's concerning to think about after seeing numerous posts of people suffering from things like insomnia-induced psychosis. I'm sorry to everyone who's dealing with something like that, as I don't believe my issues currently rise nearly to that level.
 
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Disabledfromjump7

Disabledfromjump7

This should never have happened.
Jul 27, 2026
90
So my main reason to ctb is sleep anxiety. I am nervous going to sleep, just as I would fall asleep, a sudden onset anxiety keeps me awake. Insomnia is making me having panick attacks, even more severe anxiety and now I just worry through the day, fearing another sleepless night. Insomnia created severe depression. I lost my well paying job I loved because of not being able to work. Sleep anxiety ruined my life and now I just want to ctb. I have SN and all necesarry supplements. So its just a question of when to take the final step...
I jumped off an overpass due to 3 months of sleeping 4 hours a night. I would say to try and find a sleeping pill that works for you. I hope you find a resolution.
 
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