Venting Antinatalist, racist rant I sent to my dad

[KleinerWolf]

Here is a copy for your entertainment purpose.

Email title: You muppets

My teeth fucking hurts,
And I think of suicide very often,

I don't want Chinese babies and I don't enjoy being Chinese.
Citizenship and race.

I'm literally here because of you.
You wanted a baby,
And here I am, in this shit situation.
Bravo.

Consciousness does not exist without a brain.
When I die, it will be over.
Just like I never existed.

I will kill myself within 2 months.
I never asked to be born.
It's a fucking shitshow.
And I've had enough of it.

When I die I will have nothing to do with you,
And more importantly I will have nothing to do with China, its people, culture or language,
In fact I was never here.
You are dreaming.
And fuck you for bringing me into this.

 

[Homecoming]

 

[umbrellaphone]

As much as I regret being born, I don't think I have the heart to say that in my parents' faces.

 

[hoping to lose hope]

Teen angst gradiuated into existential angst the post.
I used to shitpost to my dad also even did greentexts lol

 

[KleinerWolf]

As much as I regret being born, I don't think I have the heart to say that in my parents' faces.

I'm "dying" and I couldn't care less.
If I could choose my parents,
I would be doing that also.

they are not the worst but they are not great either.

 

[VisionsOfHell]

Which race would you want to be instead?

 

[KleinerWolf]

Teen angst gradiuated into existential angst the post.
I used to shitpost to my dad also even did greentexts lol

Not a teen though.

Which race would you want to be instead?

I can't say that, it would make me racist.

 

[puppy9]

@StrokeMyEgoBaby Good work. I did the same to my Dad. I wanna do it to my mom but she's paying for everything.

 

[hoping to lose hope]

Not a teen though.

I can't say that, it would make me racist.

Try not to worry about being racist <3

 

[VisionsOfHell]

I can't say that, it would make me racist.

I think that answers my question^^

 

[KleinerWolf]

@StrokeMyEgoBaby Good work. I did the same to my Dad. I wanna do it to my mom but she's paying for everything.

It's not good work,
It's a sad reality.
People don't behave like this when things go right or when they are dumb.

But as parents they should ask themselves how much priveledge/security/protection they could offer their children.

 

[puppy9]

It's not good work,
It's a sad reality.
People don't behave like this when things go right or when they are dumb.

But as parents they should ask themselves how much priveledge/security/protection they could offer their children.

I know, but I'm in a terrible mood because of em.

 

[Neowise]

I'm sorry you hate yourself that much.
A race is just a race, since I hate humainty in general I could say I find all races equally garbage ;)
You could emigrate to a different country and become its citizen. Would that make life a bit better for you or is that no option?

 

[Amumu]

My teeth fucking hurts

This. It may seem trivial, but I truly understand why you put it here.

 

[Kramer]

It's like you want to be sabotaged in your attempt. Why would you do this?

This. It may seem trivial, but I truly understand why you put it here.

Why did they include that?

 

[KleinerWolf]

It's like you want to be sabotaged in your attempt. Why would you do this?

Why did they include that?

Because I'm on the other side of the planet,
I told my dad about my suicidal thoughts and ideation or rough dates etc,
He does nothing.

In fact I didn't want intervention,
I was simply complaining and complaining.

if I run out emotions maybe I can solve my problem better.
Otherwise when I commit suicide I will continue to feel good.
That's the purpose why I told him my rough dates, because he never does anything. Which I've anticipated.

 

[Kramer]

Because I'm on the other side of the planet,
I told my dad about my suicidal thoughts and ideation or rough dates etc,
He does nothing.

In fact I didn't want intervention,
I was simply complaining and complaining.

if I run out emotions maybe I can solve my problem better.
Otherwise when I commit suicide I will continue to feel good.
That's the purpose why I told him my rough dates, because he never does anything. Which I've anticipated.

I wish I was as determined. I keep wavering.

 

[KleinerWolf]

I wish I was as determined. I keep wavering.

I'm not determined.
I will see what happens.
It's just a rough plan.

View attachment 52480

@DeathStar42 hi deathstar, do u think you've posted this photo b4 or am I tripping?

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

First off - hugs to you. I know what it feels like to wish you had just never been born. I was an accident - the product of an extra-marital affair. Were my mother not a devout Catholic, I probably wouldn't have made it past the first trimester. I wish I never had to go through all this.

I am, however, very curious as to what aspects of being Chinese cause you to have such disdain for the culture and ethnicity? I myself have struggled with aspects of my being beyond my control. I'm black, and that comes with certain disadvantages living in North America. I'm gay, and that comes with its own set of challenges. I think in my life I might have thought to myself, "I wish I wasn't black," but I'm not sure I ever got to the point of "wanting nothing to do" with my culture or ethnicity. I'm very curious as to what has escalated your hatred for your racial background.

 

[KleinerWolf]

First off - hugs to you. I know what it feels like to wish you had just never been born. I was an accident - the product of an extra-marital affair. Were my mother not a devout Catholic, I probably wouldn't have made it past the first trimester. I wish I never had to go through all this.

I am, however, very curious as to what aspects of being Chinese cause you to have such disdain for the culture and ethnicity? I myself have struggled with aspects of my being beyond my control. I'm black, and that comes with certain disadvantages living in North America. I'm gay, and that comes with its own set of challenges. I think in my life I might have thought to myself, "I wish I wasn't black," but I'm not sure I ever got to the point of "wanting nothing to do" with my culture or ethnicity. I'm very curious as to what has escalated your hatred for your racial background.

there was a lot of dysfunction and unethical or just dumb things when it comes to my negative experiences with China which I won't list here. Something happened and then more things happened. Point out to the same country and shitty people. This happened when I was young as well as in recent years, so bad experiences throughout my life so far.

At the same time, there's perfectionism and having internet to know about the outside world. And the ability to understand English.

it shapes how I feel about China and its people, should they continue to voluntarily fit into the same category I have labeled for them.

 

[Jean Améry]

I wouldn't call it entertainment. More like a heartfelt expression of sorrow and regret. Very well written, relatable (my parents are pretty much shit too: a narcisstic prick and a depressive, alcoholic with symptoms of borderline PD who messed up my life beyond all reason and morality) and quite logical in the conclusion you wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't been born. That is an undeniable conclusion since one has to be alive (and conscious) to be able to experience pain and misery. I also agree about the statement 'no brain no consciousness' although technically we can't know for sure what will happen after death.

Why do you hate being Chinese?

As to sending it to your father: there's nothing that can be done about it now of course but it's not without risk. Even if he lives on the other side of the world: if he speaks whatever language you use where you currently live (or knows someone who does) and knows your exact location he could relay the content of that letter/message to the local police department and it could be used against you. If not now maybe at some point in the future.

The way you phrased it speaks of determination about wanting to die. Luckily you didn't include specifics but this could put you on the radar of the local police and mental health system. It's their legal duty to prevent suicide after all.

 

[KleinerWolf]

I wouldn't call it entertainment. More like a heartfelt expression of sorrow and regret. Very well written, relatable (my parents are pretty much shit too: a narcisstic prick and a depressive, alcoholic with symptoms of borderline PD who messed up my life beyond all reason and morality) and quite logical in the conclusion you wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't been born. That is an undeniable conclusion since one has to be alive (and conscious) to be able to experience pain and misery. I also agree about the statement 'no brain no consciousness' although technically we can't know for sure what will happen after death.

Why do you hate being Chinese?

As to sending it to your father: there's nothing that can be done about it now of course but it's not without risk. Even if he lives on the other side of the world: if he speaks whatever language you use where you currently live (or knows someone who does) and knows your exact location he could relay the content of that letter/message to the local police department and it could be used against you. If not now maybe at some point in the future.

The way you phrased it speaks of determination about wanting to die. Luckily you didn't include specifics but this could put you on the radar of the local police and mental health system. It's their legal duty to prevent suicide after all.

My dad is not that smart,
I wouldn't have bitched about it otherwise.
Even when I gave him one week timeframe, he did no interference whatsoever, so I'm pretty much in the clear.

only problem is things not too good and hasn't been, so it might become a reality 2 months from now,
but I'll see how things progress.

 

[I_have_no_one]

My grandfather couldn't even go to elementary school just because he was poor, but he said this country was a good country all his life. It's disgusting.