Venting I lost all of my friends, they all hate me and I fucked up.

[Usako0504]

I made the mistake of getting into a relationship with an ex of a (now former) friend. This friend had broken up with that ex because they had cheated and I never, ever excused them and helped them get into therapy and stopped them from CTB. I never meant for romantic feelings to happen, and my friend had moved on and went into a new relationship. They've been with another person for months and asked me to stay friends with their ex to make sure they didn't CTB.

I know that person fucked up horribly but at the end of the day, they got help for their addictions and they started working to become better.

The truth is that they moved on quickly, within months but I've been single for years since my last relationship that was abusive. I had one brief 3 week long fling that ended because that person was racist and sexist, and all of my friends said I basically deserved it for Even entertaining someone like that but this partner has been the kindest I've ever encountered.

I told my friend, I was told to maybe wait but I didn't want to anymore and their reaction was horrible. They accused me of not being genuine and that I sought out to hurt them.

They went and told everyone we knew and within an hour every single person I knew in that friend group blocked me and cut me off.

I had built that friend group up for years, it was the only thing that stopped me from CTB before, I planned trips for us, checked in with people when they disappeared or went through difficulties. I don't have a good family this was all I had. It's all gone now.

I deserve to die. I want to die. I want to kill myself.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I'm sorry this happened. I also recently tucked up a friendship and caused her to estrange herself from me. Though in your case it's not clear that you did much wrong. Certainly nothing to deserve death. Though it's understandable why you are so despondent at losing your entire support system. Still, this one former friend says jump and all your mutual friends just ask how high, completely unceremoniously like that! That's really messed up.

I hope this is just a case of your ex friend just acting from a place of emotion and that they'll come to their senses later.

 

[LaughingGoat]

That's a difficult situation to process, probably for everyone involved. I imagine there is a part of you who wants to repair those relationships but it seems like a huge hurdle and not possible at this moment. If that is the case, I would say that giving yourself and them some time to take a breather from the situation before reaching out to share your side to them directly and reconcile would be a good idea. Many people have very strong opinions on cheaters and won't entertain giving them a second chance as a person, so that's likely how some feel about your partner. Trying to reconcile, some may stick to those feelings but some may be understanding to the growth they made and how your relationship began. Asking because you said your friend was concerned their ex would ctb, did your partner ever try to sit down with your friend after they started treatment and apologize for the cheating?