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darkenmydoorstep

darkenmydoorstep

Not Waving But Browned Off….
Sep 27, 2023
620
For me it's never about tying up loose ends or hanging around for a person or pet.

It's never about having people tell me they value me or just holding on in case things improve.

The reason I never do it is for one reason only.

Because I'm too fucking scared.

Because the means I would have to go to to successfully finish the job are too gruesome and brutal.

That is literally the only thing that keeps me here. And god I wish I wasn't such a wuss.
I despise having to live here and bar perhaps an Interval when all totted up of about six months, I have done for the last 35 years.

I really hope I get my shit together soon and sort this soon. Other people manage it. Even kids - not condoning that btw just makes me feel even more of a loser that I can't bring myself to do it.
 
  • Hugs
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Reactions: pthnrdnojvsc, Pale_Rider, Unknown21 and 1 other person
N

Nightfoot

Mage
Aug 7, 2025
549
Not being able to bring yourself to CTB doesn't make you a loser.
 
Pale_Rider

Pale_Rider

Enlightened
Apr 21, 2025
1,492
Well having done it, and there are others that could testify; we all have SI. How that manifests is based on the person. Fear is always there with this thing, or none of us would be texting.
 

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