Venting almost (TW)

[xX.mlnchli]

today was the perfect day to do it.
i dont feel anything but miserable.
i almost did it in my bathroom.
the longer i hung, the quieter it grew.
there was absolutely nothing but silence.
my thoughts were completely silenced for once.
c*tting didnt seem to be doing the work anymore, not like it ever really did, so i had to find another way. i felt free for once. but then my head felt like it was about to xplde, not a really comfortable feeling, and i gave up.
i feel a bit dizzy and tired from attempting now.
my first ever real attempt.
gosh i can't even think straight.
my esophagus hurts.
but yet i want to try again..
in those moments, i didn't even care about leaving my family and friends behind, hell i didnt even want to stop. i dont care about my life anymore. im thinking of finding other ways to ctb without much pain.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really wish it's more straightforward to die on our own terms, at least to me it'd be such a relief to have the option to just fall asleep eternally. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you eventually find the peace you search for.

 

[Angel of Spades]

I'd suggest looking into how to pull off partial hanging if you're having struggles with discomfort. Supposedly partial hanging is supposed to knock you out way faster and be much more effective/accessible. I do hope you find a method that doesn't give you so much grief for just trying, though. Wishing all the best for you and your travels on the bus.