Venting Alive

[BodyOfDaffodil]

Hi, my name is Daffodil and I'm alive. My last post was around the 14-15TH of April. I am no longer homeless and I am living with a friend, I have found a steady income and I am learning to take care of myself slowly. I still have an addiction to Xanax, but managed to stop the cocaine. I was hospitalized on the 20th for fentanyl overdose at a public library after my cocaine had been laced.

I am still alive. Despite everything I am still alive. I don't know why, and I don't really know how. Regardless of everything that's happened I am still alive. I am in a limbo sort of state right now if I am to be frank. It's a.. listless and floating sort of feeling. I've enlisted in therapy to try to work through my trauma as I look for better housing at the moment. I was in a very dark place, looking to CTB and free myself of my pain. But I decided that I am above those who've hurt me and that what happened to me doesn't define who I am.

It's been long, long year already and we're barely at half the year being gone haha. Nonetheless I wanted to thank everyone whose given me encouragement, best of wishes, and advise for the last few months while I went through some of the worst periods of my life. I began to take self defence training with my roommate and it's something enjoyable (also helps me release anger). Thank you everyone, from the bottom of my heart for showing me that there is still good in this world.

Now I'm going to try my damn hardest to make my own happiness. I'll give updates when I can. Again, thank you all so much.

I wish you all the best of luck, and much love.

Sincerely Daffodil.

 

[OrphicEnd]

I'm really relieved that your situation is getting better, it's probably a new start, far from bad people !
What are you going to do about the baby? It would be wise to abort knowing that you have taken substances harmful to its development.
I hope you find your happiness and that these horrible experiences do not haunt you but simply make you stronger.
Best wishes, waiting to hear from you.

 

[BodyOfDaffodil]

I'm really relieved that your situation is getting better, it's probably a new start, far from bad people !
What are you going to do about the baby? It would be wise to abort knowing that you have taken substances harmful to its development.
I hope you find your happiness and that these horrible experiences do not haunt you but simply make you stronger.
Best wishes, waiting to hear from you.

The baby was terminated awhile ago now. It was one of the many reasons for a recent relapse into drugs, however I am feeling better now about it. That child would've been born out of hatred, angry and pain. It wouldn't have been from love or sincerity. Thank you so much for your wishes, I appreciate it deeply.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Good luck to you. I hope you make it.

 

[UKscotty]

Good luck