Venting Afraid I won't make any friends in college

[ihateittoo]

I just started college and im worried that I won't be able to meet people. I am not a very outgoing person and I find it rare that I am in situations where I meet someone. It doesn't help that I am very physically unattractive. I do have friends and roommates, but I'm sort of in a weird cross section where everyone else has other friend groups to rely on. I worry that everything is gonna be just like high school. I feel so awkward just going up and introducing myself to people. It feels like no one would ever be interested in being my friend because of the way I look.

There doesn't feel like there is an end to any of the issues im going through. My insecurities are things I can't change and I am not going to live my life as an underireable freak.

I have my CTB plan ready, I know the shotgun I am going to buy, I'd send a link if it wouldn't give away my location due to it being a very local supplier. It is a 12 gauge pump action shotgun that will cost me around $300. I just need to work on saving my money for a little bit and I will be able to get it. From there I will probably drive to an empty parking lot or some other secluded place late at night and shoot myself in my car. I don't wanna leave a note or anything, I just am ready for this all to be over. I have wanted to do this for years.

It gets so lonely for me at night, I miss texting people a lot. Im losing my mind sitting here doing nothing. I can't help but feel I'll never find anyone who really gets what I'm going through. The only person I've ever met who really understands me loves someone else, and i'll just have to accept that he will never see me the way I see him.

 

[Gild-Holm-’Ur]

Ah man, I think every friend I ever made was through playing dungeons and dragons (literally, even my ex) so I can't offer any words of wisdom. But I'll send my care bear friendship stare your way. (watching retro cartoons on YouTube right now.

 

[ihateittoo]

Ah man, I think every friend I ever made was through playing dungeons and dragons (literally, even my ex) so I can't offer any words of wisdom. But I'll send my care bear friendship stare your way. (watching retro cartoons on YouTube right now.

which cartoons? not sure what qualifies as retro but I love the show home movies. It was an early adult swim show. Very similar to Dr Katz professional therapist. Those shows are both older than me so I say its retro.

 

[Gild-Holm-’Ur]

Just YouTube autoplay that's going through old 80s cartoons like Thundar the Barbarian and the like.

I love Home Movies - I'll sing 'Freaky, Outie.' when I'm feeling absurdist, but no one ever gets the reference. In a way it makes it better.

 

[Rihan]

I'm in the very situation you're dreading (I'm in my second year of college and have no friends)... So I have nothing helpful to say. I hope that you can find someone who truly understands you, although that's far easier said than done.

 

[zzkhule]

I just started college and im worried that I won't be able to meet people. I am not a very outgoing person and I find it rare that I am in situations where I meet someone. It doesn't help that I am very physically unattractive. I do have friends and roommates, but I'm sort of in a weird cross section where everyone else has other friend groups to rely on. I worry that everything is gonna be just like high school. I feel so awkward just going up and introducing myself to people. It feels like no one would ever be interested in being my friend because of the way I look.

There doesn't feel like there is an end to any of the issues im going through. My insecurities are things I can't change and I am not going to live my life as an underireable freak.

I have my CTB plan ready, I know the shotgun I am going to buy, I'd send a link if it wouldn't give away my location due to it being a very local supplier. It is a 12 gauge pump action shotgun that will cost me around $300. I just need to work on saving my money for a little bit and I will be able to get it. From there I will probably drive to an empty parking lot or some other secluded place late at night and shoot myself in my car. I don't wanna leave a note or anything, I just am ready for this all to be over. I have wanted to do this for years.

It gets so lonely for me at night, I miss texting people a lot. Im losing my mind sitting here doing nothing. I can't help but feel I'll never find anyone who really gets what I'm going through. The only person I've ever met who really understands me loves someone else, and i'll just have to accept that he will never see me the way I see him.

i feel very much the same. third year of college, I barely have friends, I feel unlovable, and whenever someone tries to reassure me their words don't land and I still feel like I am alone, like there is always 6ft pole separating me and other people