PlasticHousePlant
New Member
- Jul 3, 2026
- 4
After around 6 years of really struggling with loneliness and finding new people, I've decided that that issue is impossible to fix for any adults without an extreme life change. of which, I don't think I'll receive in my life.
Making friends is largely about regularly encountering the same people regularly. Most of these people will never become your best friend or anything, but without this at least, it isn't possible at all.
My recent friend finding activities have involved reaching out on multiple communities online for my local area, both of with on different platforms, deleted my post. I seriously don't understand running these things if an attempt to be more active in your community is going to be shot down. I've tried the new bumble friends app again after a failure to match with anyone before when it was still bundled on with the dating portion. It seemed livelier but still no matches. I joined a crafting community on their only to realize it involves paying for materials in a medium I'm not even interested in. I made my own groups and no ones joined. I wonder how you get people to join those types of things. I made a Tinder out of desperation and mostly jealousy regarding someone else. I'm unsure of my own sexuality and whether I even want anyone but feel saddened by my lack of opportunity to even learn. I've got a club night on the calendar but it's far from my house and even if I somehow manage something, I probably won't be able to meet with anyone I meet from it regularly.
You can try and try, and people love to frame it as a lack of try, or for therapist and what not, a lack of using their flaccid group meetings for lonely people. But the truth is, if you're lonely do to circumstance like I am - lack of reliable transportation, a suburban areas without events for young people, no college, low funds, a job without coworkers - unless you can suddenly change any of these factors in your favor, until then, you're fucked without much control in it, and it's not a guarantee, especial if it's only one avenue, like just work or just school. Even those on their own create an extremely narrow social life.
I think I could try holding a friend finding event in my neighborhood, but I can image most people don't care, or if they do are too shy and will only bring a slim demographic. There's nothing a therapist can do to help unless they can change your life and neighborhood for you which they can't.
I do technically have irl friends, but one doesn't like me much anymore I think, on I consider a good friend, but she doesn't go out much and I don't see much opportunity to meet new people through her, and an ex who never brings me to any of his social events with his friends which feels very othering and cuts of an avenue of meeting people, even though in theory, he should be great because he's one of those people that has more friends than the average person, basically a bridge between multiple large friend groups. I'm not close to any of my family besides my elderly grandparents and young cousin who doesn't leave the house, none of which have friends irl.
Absolutely nothing in my life will lead to real friends or potential partners. It's fucked. Anyone who understates the problem or isn't willing to help if they can, can't be mad or surpised if you decide to hurt yourself or kill youself out of the pain and hopelessness of it all. But most people don't care about these things even if society tells them they have to pretend to care in able to not look like a massive fucking cunt.
Making friends is largely about regularly encountering the same people regularly. Most of these people will never become your best friend or anything, but without this at least, it isn't possible at all.
My recent friend finding activities have involved reaching out on multiple communities online for my local area, both of with on different platforms, deleted my post. I seriously don't understand running these things if an attempt to be more active in your community is going to be shot down. I've tried the new bumble friends app again after a failure to match with anyone before when it was still bundled on with the dating portion. It seemed livelier but still no matches. I joined a crafting community on their only to realize it involves paying for materials in a medium I'm not even interested in. I made my own groups and no ones joined. I wonder how you get people to join those types of things. I made a Tinder out of desperation and mostly jealousy regarding someone else. I'm unsure of my own sexuality and whether I even want anyone but feel saddened by my lack of opportunity to even learn. I've got a club night on the calendar but it's far from my house and even if I somehow manage something, I probably won't be able to meet with anyone I meet from it regularly.
You can try and try, and people love to frame it as a lack of try, or for therapist and what not, a lack of using their flaccid group meetings for lonely people. But the truth is, if you're lonely do to circumstance like I am - lack of reliable transportation, a suburban areas without events for young people, no college, low funds, a job without coworkers - unless you can suddenly change any of these factors in your favor, until then, you're fucked without much control in it, and it's not a guarantee, especial if it's only one avenue, like just work or just school. Even those on their own create an extremely narrow social life.
I think I could try holding a friend finding event in my neighborhood, but I can image most people don't care, or if they do are too shy and will only bring a slim demographic. There's nothing a therapist can do to help unless they can change your life and neighborhood for you which they can't.
I do technically have irl friends, but one doesn't like me much anymore I think, on I consider a good friend, but she doesn't go out much and I don't see much opportunity to meet new people through her, and an ex who never brings me to any of his social events with his friends which feels very othering and cuts of an avenue of meeting people, even though in theory, he should be great because he's one of those people that has more friends than the average person, basically a bridge between multiple large friend groups. I'm not close to any of my family besides my elderly grandparents and young cousin who doesn't leave the house, none of which have friends irl.
Absolutely nothing in my life will lead to real friends or potential partners. It's fucked. Anyone who understates the problem or isn't willing to help if they can, can't be mad or surpised if you decide to hurt yourself or kill youself out of the pain and hopelessness of it all. But most people don't care about these things even if society tells them they have to pretend to care in able to not look like a massive fucking cunt.
