Venting Aborted inert gas attempt, fuck SI

[DyingToDie123]

I don't even know what else to say. I finally got through all the steps, schedule-sent an email to the cops to retrieve my body, pulled the hood over my head, and then had the eebd hood over my head for about 7 seconds before I just ripped it off automatically.

I'm so discouraged. I thought the hard part was over.

 

[Some place nice]

I'm so sorry. You'll get it next time, I believe in you!

 

[MrDarkness]

Sorry it failed, SI is a hard beast to tackle, maybe the universe is saying to stick around idk, the world is weird, life can be super shitty we wish to die, but it also has its happy moments, sadly it's hard to predict when good shit is about to happen

 

[Spiritual survivor]

I don't even know what else to say. I finally got through all the steps, schedule-sent an email to the cops to retrieve my body, pulled the hood over my head, and then had the eebd hood over my head for about 7 seconds before I just ripped it off automatically.

I'm so discouraged. I thought the hard part was over.

This is why this method wasn't going to work for me. If u try to end your life, u need a method where u can't bail out because of the SI. I think that's the only way.

 

[tinyghost]

si is extremely hard, for a lot of us the hardest part. theres no shame in it.

 

[outrider567]

I don't even know what else to say. I finally got through all the steps, schedule-sent an email to the cops to retrieve my body, pulled the hood over my head, and then had the eebd hood over my head for about 7 seconds before I just ripped it off automatically.

I'm so discouraged. I thought the hard part was over.

You're not ready to go

 

[DeadHead]

Do not beat yourself up. Unfortunately we are programmed for survival, me included. I admire you for getting that far.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Did you liquor up beforehand? I think that might help.

 

[Meditation guide]

I don't even know what else to say. I finally got through all the steps, schedule-sent an email to the cops to retrieve my body, pulled the hood over my head, and then had the eebd hood over my head for about 7 seconds before I just ripped it off automatically.

I'm so discouraged. I thought the hard part was over.

I'm so sorry this happened. I'm sure I would have done the same thing. SI is going to kick in for most methods where there is a chance for it to happen. Can you describe what those seconds were like, did you feel lightheaded?

 

[Yaffle]

I've leaned toward the exit bag method gor some time time but know very well SI will be my nemesis.

Since you're using the EEBD hood rather than a bag did you try and condition yourself to it first? I've thought about getting one and watching TV with the hood on while obviously free breathing. Not something that's possible with the straight exit bag.

 

[nozomu]

it means you're not ready to go yet. Don't beat yourself up

 

[jackrussell]

i'm sorry that you failed. that happened to me too with inert gas.

 

[Macrista]

I don't like this message because it gives me the sense that same thing would happen to me. Hopefully you find the perfect medicine for you

 

[Intoxicated]

That's SA. Suicidal ambivalence.

 

[piddincir]

sorry man. I had a similar experience last night. I was so close, but a song came on and I semi consciously pulled the pipe out of the bag. I was really at peace and 30 seconds more and I would have been gone. But that song and I barely remember hearing it was like a message from my wife beyond the grave to save my life. I woke up like 30 mins lates

It was strange. I felt no pain and was totally a peace and was ready to go. SI kicked in but it wasn't for me it for for my late wife, she gave me the strength to live another day and make it to her funeral

I take courage from the fact that I know I can go through with it when the time is right and I hope you'll find the same when the time is right.

I had almost forgot to cancel my scheduled emails so thank fuck I remembered that at least as I would be in the psych ward now for sure

Much love bro

 

[Justnotme]

The instinct of self-preservation is a very difficult thing. To be honest, I don't even know what it is: our enemy or our inner desire to live a little longer, despite all the nightmare that is happening.
I'm sorry that you had a fight with instinct, where instinct won :(

I'm sorry, but could you please send a photo of the hood you're talking about?
I would like to understand the principle by which the hood works.

 

[thewalkingdread]

I don't even know what else to say. I finally got through all the steps, schedule-sent an email to the cops to retrieve my body, pulled the hood over my head, and then had the eebd hood over my head for about 7 seconds before I just ripped it off automatically.

I'm so discouraged. I thought the hard part was over.

I'm so sorry for all this horrible agony you are going through. I really feel you... because that's also how I want to CTB and, although I'm still "locked" in the process of buying my gas tank and regulator, I keep imagining myself in my last moments before pulling down the Exit Bag and losing consciousness for the last, final, time. It's quite terrifing... knowing that I will go to sleep, but this time I'll not wake up anymore.

Pushing the "Magic Button" is not easy as people like to think.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really is cruel how it's so unnecessary difficult to die. But anyway best wishes, I find it so horrible how we cannot just have the option to easily leave this existence in peace.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

It really is cruel how it's so unnecessary difficult to die. But anyway best wishes, I find it so horrible how we cannot just have the option to easily leave this existence in peace.

OP does have the option to leave in peace. SI is an obstacle even with such an option on hand.

 

[piddincir]

If you try again, perhaps try and have a few alcoholics drinks to relax and if you have access to any benzodiazepines this will definitely help with anxiety and hopefully eliminate an extent of SI.

I had too many of both and fucked it myself so moderation is key with this method but I was totally at peace and chilled about it.

 

[DyingToDie123]

I'm so sorry this happened. I'm sure I would have done the same thing. SI is going to kick in for most methods where there is a chance for it to happen. Can you describe what those seconds were like, did you feel lightheaded?

I've tried it five times now, the first time I felt a very very slight suffocation feeling but hyperventilating helped. I'm not supposed to feel that at all with the hood though so there might be something wrong.

I've leaned toward the exit bag method gor some time time but know very well SI will be my nemesis.

Since you're using the EEBD hood rather than a bag did you try and condition yourself to it first? I've thought about getting one and watching TV with the hood on while obviously free breathing. Not something that's possible with the straight exit bag.

I didn't before but did after this comment a bit, I think it's the gas that scares me more though. I don't watch too much tv and would probably be annoying to wear while doing internet stuff haha.

If you try again, perhaps try and have a few alcoholics drinks to relax and if you have access to any benzodiazepines this will definitely help with anxiety and hopefully eliminate an extent of SI.

I had too many of both and fucked it myself so moderation is key with this method but I was totally at peace and chilled about it.

Tried alcohol today, still nothing :( my NP doesn't prescribe benzos so they will be annoying to get and I'm not even sure if anxiety is the problem.

 

[bigfishlittlefish]

I've leaned toward the exit bag method gor some time time but know very well SI will be my nemesis.

Since you're using the EEBD hood rather than a bag did you try and condition yourself to it first? I've thought about getting one and watching TV with the hood on while obviously free breathing. Not something that's possible with the straight exit bag.

Sorry, what's an EEBD hood please?

 

[Yaffle]

Sorry, what's an EEBD hood please?

Emergency Escape Breathing Device

 

[hi-okbye]

i'm sorry, SI can be so hard to death with. if you decide to go through with it again, i wish you luck.