A Tentative Goodbye

[AntHydra]

Hello everyone.

I've decided to make a thread after all. Hope I won't have to be embarrassed about this later.

Talking to people here was nice, helpful, and I'm glad if I could make even one person feel the slightest bit better for the slightest moment in the very limited time I was one of you. Finding such a supportive community was amazing.
But from the second I joined, I knew I'd need to leave soon.

My method is partial suspension hanging. I'll attempt to execute it in a couple of hours, when I'm alone in this house.
I hope it works this time. I practiced and tried around quite a bit, by all means, it should work, but I'm saddled with immense self-doubt about whether I'll succeed nonetheless.
Right now, I'm nervous. I feel excitement but also dread.

I won't think back at the sweet times I've had in my life nor the horrible ones, lest I cry.

I'll only think about the comforting nothing which awaits beyond the veil. The serene silence, where the agonising noise can't find me. The one silence where my ears won't ring. An empty bliss beyond this world. One last hoop, one last loop, and I can finally be there; nowhere.
I'll put on a youtube video I've watched a million times, and then hopefully I'll slowly drift away.

I was full of poetry once, but there's not much left of it, so I would just like to say:

Thank you for everything - resources and conversations alike. I love you and this community. I hope I made an impact.

I'm AntHydra, I love insects and Latin and magic, and I could have had a bright future once upon a time.
Unless I fail, and let's not rule that out, this is my goodbye.
Either way, I wish you all serenity in whatever you choose.

 

[Peel_the_Banana]

Many people fail at partial. I personally don't think its a reliable method.

There is no shame in coming back to SS (even if its only to do more research and not talk to anyone. )


Best wishes to you friend.

 

[coffee]

Hi AntHydra. It's hard for me to say something but if you want to talk I'm here.

 

[bed]

It was nice talking to you Ant. Even if it was for a brief time, I enjoyed speaking with you. I wish you all the best if this is what you truly want.

I'll leave a poem for you since you enjoy poetry, it's my favourite poem. Goodbye friend. <3

Once more into the fray
Into the last good fight I'll ever know.
Live and die on this day...
Live and die on this day...

 

[hanax.]

Hey, I know we've only just met and exchanged quite a bit of words on the gen chat but I do wish the best for you. You're such a precious angel who the world should have protected. If going home is your chosen path, it's all up to you. If ever there is a slightest bit of hesitation in your mind which would possibly lead you to a conclusion that today might not be the day for you, you're always welcomed with open arms. Best wishes for you, mate! See you on the other side. Let's go on a drink if ever that happens lmao (ofc im kidding) i wish you the happiest of your journey.

 

[domedune]

Wishing you safety and rest. Also, I like your pfp

 

[logan]

I wish you only the best.

If you decide otherwise or it doesn't work out - we are here for you.

 

[Mindy]

I hope you'll find the peace you are looking for.

 

[back_to_oblivion]

All the best to you AntHydra

 

[AntHydra]

To update: I officially failed for today and ran out of time, but my plan stands. I will re-attempt in these days. Until then, I'll keep browsing and browsing SS, I suppose... ^^

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

I hope you find the peace you're after soon

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that things did not go to plan. I hope you find peace if you decide to leave. The thought of nothingness after this life is comforting to me as well.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

I wish it didn't have to be this way. I don't wanna sound hypocritical and say that things can and will get better, bc I don't believe it myself…..
And like many here said, it's okay to hang your mind. If you don't, I wish you find your peace and tranquillity we all are looking for.