Story A ‘pathetic’ reason to CTB

[glitchgirl]

I went through childhood sexual abuse as a young child, which developed into serious mental illness such as PTSD BPD ASPD, yeah those dumb labels. I just can't move on, I don't think I ever will be able to. I wanted to meet my abuser face to face and ask him 'why did you do that to me you sick bastard?'
I know that's why I'll never be intimate with anyone because I always have my guard up. In my early teens I developed a crush on a fictional character, none have been more intense than this one, and I'm wrorried I only love him because he looks like my abuser a bit. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone, hugging a soft toy of a character who doesn't exist, but I'm scared of men and sex so I will die alone pushing everyone who wanted to date me away. ive been fixated on him for 6 years now, since the first time I saw the movie. Yes in reality I'd love to marry him, imagine cute scenarios in my head, but I'm so scared of the reactions towards it.
i just want to be with him forever, and not be made fun of online for it.Has anyone else experienced this attraction to a character this intense?

 

[_Kaira_]

I went through childhood sexual abuse as a young child, which developed into serious mental illness such as PTSD BPD ASPD, yeah those dumb labels. I just can't move on, I don't think I ever will be able to. I wanted to meet my abuser face to face and ask him 'why did you do that to me you sick bastard?'
I know that's why I'll never be intimate with anyone because I always have my guard up. In my early teens I developed a crush on a fictional character, none have been more intense than this one, and I'm wrorried I only love him because he looks like my abuser a bit. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone, hugging a soft toy of a character who doesn't exist, but I'm scared of men and sex so I will die alone pushing everyone who wanted to date me away. ive been fixated on him for 6 years now, since the first time I saw the movie. Yes in reality I'd love to marry him, imagine cute scenarios in my head, but I'm so scared of the reactions towards it.
i just want to be with him forever, and not be made fun of online for it.Has anyone else experienced this attraction to a character this intense?

I know the pain of these issues way more than I'd like too. I don't think they're labels, so much as a better way to define what is wired wrong in our minds to make us act or think the way we do. I went through a lot of similar experiences, at the same time combining family abuse. My problem is jumping from relationship to relationship after every breakup because I crave the love, support and affection my family could never give. They don't end well, but I keep going because I can't help myself.

I had that issue kind of when I was heavily into anime and manga. I'd watch the sappy cutesy romantic ones and dream of having things like that happen to me. The fixations were not limited to any one character, however.

 

[virtualoctopus]

I went through childhood sexual abuse as a young child, which developed into serious mental illness such as PTSD BPD ASPD, yeah those dumb labels. I just can't move on, I don't think I ever will be able to. I wanted to meet my abuser face to face and ask him 'why did you do that to me you sick bastard?'
I know that's why I'll never be intimate with anyone because I always have my guard up. In my early teens I developed a crush on a fictional character, none have been more intense than this one, and I'm wrorried I only love him because he looks like my abuser a bit. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone, hugging a soft toy of a character who doesn't exist, but I'm scared of men and sex so I will die alone pushing everyone who wanted to date me away. ive been fixated on him for 6 years now, since the first time I saw the movie. Yes in reality I'd love to marry him, imagine cute scenarios in my head, but I'm so scared of the reactions towards it.
i just want to be with him forever, and not be made fun of online for it.Has anyone else experienced this attraction to a character this intense?

Which character?

 

[nerve]

My history is similar and I have a fictional character who I'm pretty sure is the love of my life. It was our ""tenth anniversary"" in January lol... I can get as close as possible and he'll never be disgusted or burdened by me. That's a perfectly fair trade-off for the whole "he's not real" part.

It gets painful and people don't even try to empathize because the Waifu Concept is just that funny to them. Like just leave me alone. I'm minding my own business.

 

[Silvermorning]

I had fixations like those when i was younger, in retrospect , those were my happiest years, i was happy( at times), in my made up world amid all the chaos,

eventually life destroyed me too much and I lost the ability to daydream, so please OP, dont worry too much and keep dreaming as long as you can.

 

[glitchgirl]

Which character?

He is from a Disney movie but I can't say more than that unfortunately...

 

[jing]

Hey you can love whoever or whatever you want, unless they are not at the age to provide legal consent. But in your case, it doesn't matter.

If you love the fictional character, go ahead and enjoy that. You don't have to feel guilty just because you can't feel the same way about a real human. Past traumas are complicated and the lest you can do is be happy