a new side to ctb

[awaitinglove]

so when i had thoughts of ctb it always had to do with how horrible the world was. my intentions were always based on the cruelties and horrors of this world. the damage others have caused me.
now, my reason for wanting to ctb is me. i am the embodiment of horrors in this world. i am the reason this world is fucked up. and now i must ctb to prevent further damages and catastrophes from occurring. i'm a horrible person. i need to protect others by ctb. i feel like i have nothing to lose. this is not necessarily what i want; rather, it's what i deserve. it's what i owe the world.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

How are you responsible for the atrocities in this world and/or any/all of the other things that make this world fucked-up? You're not responsible for it. You just have to live in like everyone else.

 

[socksnsandles]

the worlds definitely shitty, theres no denying that.

When i first got my accident, i went to a bunch of doctors, payed exorbitant consultation fees, and they gave me all but 5 minutes of their barely attentive attention, ignored everything i had to say, and just got the equivalent to "good luck."

Im not sure when it happened, but the world at some veered into a period of decadence and selfishness so hard that it was never able to make itself back out. You cant count on anyone, its no longer in their nature to act human. All we've ever done is reward those that act selfishly and punish those that dont. Over generations, people evolved to just not care for others as that became a vulnerability/liability for them.

 

[awaitinglove]

How are you responsible for the atrocities in this world and/or any/all of the other things that make this world fucked-up? You're not responsible for it. You just have to live in like everyone else.

i'm not necessarily responsible for it all but i'm responsible for some of it. i hurt someone so bad so now i feel like the whole world is on my shoulders, ya know?

 

[locked*n*loaded]

i'm not necessarily responsible for it all but i'm responsible for some of it. i hurt someone so bad so now i feel like the whole world is on my shoulders, ya know?

Do I know? No. Not really. You cause a little pain. You cause a little happiness. That's the story of life. It all balances out. You say you're sorry and mean it, you learn from the mistakes and try not to ever make the same ones again, you forgive yourself, you move on, and the monkey on your shoulders goes away.

 

[itsgone2]

i'm not necessarily responsible for it all but i'm responsible for some of it. i hurt someone so bad so now i feel like the whole world is on my shoulders, ya know?

I get it. I look around and I don't see a lot of good. More bad. Then I look at my own actions in life and still I see more bad than good. So I get it. Part of it being like, if I take myself out, then it's a benefit.