Cockney_Rebel

Cockney_Rebel

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Jan 7, 2021
455
Myself:

Countless overdoses, attempting to access tall bridges (got caught & sectioned,) cutting of wrists, car park rooftop stand offs with police negotiators (couldn't being myself to jump: The body's survival instinct sadly kicked in,) taking overdoses then taping a plastic bag over my head whilst in bed on a psych ward.

Plus I'm sure there's some other bits & pieces.

What about you?
 
  • Like
Reactions: lobster salad, filthyrottendirty, DarkWolf and 3 others
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,819
jumping but got stopped (semi regret) and i had the rope around my neck but hubby messaged before i pulled it tight enough (plus it was the first time i actually got that far so im not sure how much farther i would have gotten anyway.)
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Lostandlooking, lobster salad, FuneralCry and 1 other person
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
37,058
Not properly. I put a cord around my neck and realised I didn't know what I was doing. I immediately hated that feeling. I doubt I will ever manage it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cockney_Rebel
Pen>Sword

Pen>Sword

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam
Jan 13, 2021
465
This post would've been better if it's a poll. I haven't done or tried it yet, and I'm not sure when. I got derailed when a family event came up that would delay me for years to come.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Morituri_Te_Salutant
W

Whole-Ad

Student
Apr 4, 2021
168
Tried to jump off of a bridge but unfortunately people passing by decided to hold onto me so I couldn't jump. Getting close to that point again, don't think it'll be long before I'm back on that bridge. Hopefully I can hold out until my SN arrives.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: DarkWolf, demuic and Cockney_Rebel
W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,164
I've tried to ctb three times.

First one:

Partial hanging. I just felt neck pain and my head about to explode and couldn't continue doing it.

Second one:

OD with sleeping pills + bag in my head. I woke up 20 hours later with the bag in the trash can. I just dunno what the hell happened.

Third time:

This one was a close call. I took 100 sleeping pills and anti-depressants and was planning to hang myself then (partial). However, the effect of the pills was so powerful that I passed out very fast and ended up in a coma for 2 days.
Due to this, my life was hell for 6 months. I thought I would never be free again but now I am.


All in all, those were my failed attempts and I can't fail next time. Otherwise, I'll end up in a psych ward and go mad for real.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: prepetuallyperplexed, Lostandlooking, DeadButDreaming and 4 others
Cockney_Rebel

Cockney_Rebel

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Jan 7, 2021
455
Not properly. I put a cord around my neck and realised I didn't know what I was doing. I immediately hated that feeling. I doubt I will ever manage it.
You doubt you will ever manage to asphyxiate yourself, or you doubt you'll ever be able to take your own life by any method?

Practice makes perfect, my friend. Sounds a bit weird, being that I'm still here, but I've become a self taught expert in overdosing. If you need any tips, let me know.
 
S

Symbiote

Global Mod
Oct 12, 2020
3,101
Bout as close to death as I got...

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/survived-my-sn-last-june.52780/
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Vicepuma and Cockney_Rebel
Cockney_Rebel

Cockney_Rebel

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Jan 7, 2021
455
Tried to jump off of a bridge but unfortunately people passing by decided to hold onto me so I couldn't jump. Getting close to that point again, don't think it'll be long before I'm back on that bridge. Hopefully I can hold out until my SN arrives.
I climbed up on an overpass, during my most recent stay on a psych ward (I had Section 17 leave.)

Loads of cars pulled up, and tried to persuade me to come down. They were actually really lovely, and it touched my heart.

Then a police car turned up, and one of the coppers asked if he could come a bit closer. I agreed. He was speaking to me, then he asked if he could look over the wall. Once again, I agreed.

Before I knew it, he'd grabbed me and got me to the floor. Cuffed me, and sectioned me under 136 of the MHA. I was taken to the place of safety, then was transferred back to the ward.

I was taking a lot of medication, so I wasn't on the ball. However, it's all a learning experience and I won't fall (no pun intended) for that one again.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Soulless Angel, StateOfMind, Whole-Ad and 2 others
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
37,058
You doubt you will ever manage to asphyxiate yourself, or you doubt you'll ever be able to take your own life by any method?

Practice makes perfect, my friend. Sounds a bit weird, being that I'm still here, but I've become a self taught expert in overdosing. If you need any tips, let me know.
Just the act of taking my own life I guess. If I get desperate I will have to find a way.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cockney_Rebel
Cockney_Rebel

Cockney_Rebel

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Jan 7, 2021
455
I've tried to ctb three times.

First one:

Partial hanging. I just felt neck pain and my head about to explode and couldn't continue.

Second one:

OD with sleeping pills + bag in my head. I woke up 20 hours later with the bag in the trash can. I just dunno what the hell happened.

Third time:

This one was a close call. I took 100 sleeping pills and anti-depressants and was planning to hang myself then (partial). However, the effect of the pills was so powerful that I passed out very fast and ended up in a coma for 2 days.
Due to this, my life was hell for 6 months. I thought I would never be free again but now I am.


All in all, those were my failed attempts and I can't fail next time. Otherwise, I'll end up in a psych ward and go mad for real.
I've ODd on 100 sleeping pills (Zopiclone 7.5) + 100 Diazepam on a few occasions.

However, I think my body has built up a resilience to such an overdose.

You HAVE to do it with alcohol, for the best chance of success.

When I first started taking sleeping tablets, and diazepam, I took 40 of each and I died twice, was put into a chemically induced coma, and woke up in hospital with a catheter in my dick.

Pretty sure that was the closest I ever got.
Just the act of taking my own life I guess. If I get desperate I will have to find a way.
The world loves a tryer ...
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Octavina, WornOutLife and FuneralCry
This_sux ✓

This_sux ✓

Forever alone
Aug 6, 2020
58
When I was 13 I almost killed myself by hanging myself on scarf, then I stopped thinking about suicide for few years, but recently the thoughts came back. Currently I'm living in apartment on 9th floor. I can't stop thinking about jumping out. It's crazy.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: BandAddict
Cockney_Rebel

Cockney_Rebel

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Jan 7, 2021
455
When I was 13 I almost killed myself by hanging myself on scarf, then I stopped thinking about suicide for few years, but recently the thoughts came back. Currently I'm living in apartment on 9th floor. I can't stop thinking about jumping out. It's crazy.
Have a good drink, for Dutch courage, then take that leap of faith.

Only if you really want to, of course.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: This_sux ✓
Sunset Limited

Sunset Limited

I believe in Sunset Limited
Jul 29, 2019
1,245
I tried partial but it was not planned well. I didn't know about SS. So still here.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cockney_Rebel
charlotte greentea

charlotte greentea

Misery Chick
Apr 2, 2021
59
I've tried a few times. A poorly done attempt at hanging was my first I think. The best attempt I made was using a handgun, but it jammed. It felt like a big joke. I haven't tried since then but I've made plans to kill myself multiple times since my last attempt. I still don't keep a gun in my house because I know I'll use it if I have it. I want to be absolutely ready when I go.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: WhatDoesTheFoxSay?, demuic, JustAMatterOfTime and 1 other person
theresonlyonewayout

theresonlyonewayout

Student
Jan 31, 2021
121
Tried to hang twice - not for me.

Bag over head and cable around neck whilst on my second trip to psych ward.

Woods + BBQ

Cable around neck - unconscious and needed oxygen while in psych ward again. Same stay on ward - no food and drink for 8 days and continued with no food for over 40 days.

Olazapine overdose in order to take SN.

I'm getting closer but I fucking suck at killing myself. I plan and plan but there's always something that catches me out. I'll get it right next time.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cockney_Rebel and FuneralCry
suicidesheep31

suicidesheep31

Specialist
Jun 27, 2020
349
When I was 13 I almost killed myself by hanging myself on scarf, then I stopped thinking about suicide for few years, but recently the thoughts came back. Currently I'm living in apartment on 9th floor. I can't stop thinking about jumping out. It's crazy.
That's exactly why I can't live in a flat higher than the 2nd floor... I am sorry to hear that you have to deal with it..
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Cockney_Rebel
Cockney_Rebel

Cockney_Rebel

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Jan 7, 2021
455
I've tried a few times. A poorly done attempt at hanging was my first I think. The best attempt I made was using a handgun, but it jammed. It felt like a big joke. I haven't tried since then but I've made plans to kill myself multiple times since my last attempt. I still don't keep a gun in my house because I know I'll use it if I have it. I want to be absolutely ready when I go.
I'm in the UK, so we don't have access to guns like other countries (I'm guessing you're in the USA?)

However, if I were to put my feelers out I know I could acquire a gun. Actually was really considering it at one point, but then I saw a YouTube video about a gun survivor. This woman used to be BEAUTIFUL but after she survived the shooting, all that was left of her face was a hole (to eat and drink through.)

That instantly put my plans on ice, let me tell you.
Tried to hang twice - not for me.

Bag over head and cable around neck whilst on my second trip to psych ward.

Woods + BBQ

Cable around neck - unconscious and needed oxygen while in psych ward again. Same stay on ward - no food and drink for 8 days and continued with no food for over 40 days.

Olazapine overdose in order to take SN.

I'm getting closer but I fucking suck at killing myself. I plan and plan but there's always something that catches me out. I'll get it right next time.
I've stockpiled loads of Olanzapine.

Never ODd on them.

Please tell me, what's the OD like? Do you lose consciousness?

Please let me know what happens, thanks ...

PS, how many did you take, and with what? Other drugs? Alcohol?
That's exactly why I can't leave in a flat higher than the 2nd floor... I am sorry to hear that you have to deal with it..
I was recently going to move (decided to stay where I am, now) and the housing officer was given strict instructions to only look for lower ground flats (apartments.)

They kept bloody offering me bungalows!
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
Reactions: suicidesheep31
suicidesheep31

suicidesheep31

Specialist
Jun 27, 2020
349
It is a long story but to make it short: several overdosing. Some of them was just a call for help but some of them not.
I was ready to get catch by a train. It was an impulse so, first the train was still far when I was on the fence, second, SI kicked on and third I got catch by someone.
It also happened that I was squeezing my neck with a wire or anything I was finding but more because I was traumatized by discovering someone dead by hanging himself.
All these things were far to be well planned.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cockney_Rebel
theresonlyonewayout

theresonlyonewayout

Student
Jan 31, 2021
121
I'm in the UK, so we don't have access to guns like other countries (I'm guessing you're in the USA?)

However, if I were to put my feelers out I know I could acquire a gun. Actually was really considering it at one point, but then I saw a YouTube video about a gun survivor. This woman used to be BEAUTIFUL but after she survived the shooting, all that was left of her face was a hole (to eat and drink through.)

That instantly put my plans on ice, let me tell you.

I've stockpiled loads of Olanzapine.

Never ODd on them.

Please tell me, what's the OD like? Do you lose consciousness?

Please let me know what happens, thanks ...

PS, how many did you take, and with what? Other drugs? Alcohol?

I was recently going to move (decided to stay where I am, now) and the housing officer was given strict instructions to only look for lower ground flats (apartments.)

They kept bloody offering me bungalows!
I wouldn't recommend it. Just felt pissed and was hallucinating when I was picked up. 24 hours in a&e don't remember much at all and narrowly avoided psych ward again - 2 assessments cos I was slurring too much in the first apparently. I was using them as an antiemetic rather than an actual od but I couldn't get the poison in the bottle so they messed up the fatal part of my plan. Police helicopter was up looking for me but apparently I stumbled through a hedge straight into a police car - just my luck. Zero stars would not recommend.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cockney_Rebel
DarkWolf

DarkWolf

Worthless Loser
Mar 29, 2021
201
I tried to jump off a cliff I didn't make it to the correct part of the cliff as my social anxiety kicked in as I was approached by someone. I did make it to the edge but was too scared to jump and unsure I would definitely die. I agrued with the police for hours. When I eventually came up they grabbed my wrist, pinned me to the floor and sectioned me under a 136.
I was kicked out psych ward next day homeless without a single thought for my welfare. I was put in a hotel after contacting a homeless advice charity.

10 days later I tried to partially hang myself before the council could kick me back out. It wasn't well thought out and I kept standing up automatically. I nearly almost blacked out,was close. Ultimately I was too distressed to think straight. Should have gone for a full suspension instead.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: charlotte greentea and suicidesheep31
Cockney_Rebel

Cockney_Rebel

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Jan 7, 2021
455
It is a long story but to make it short: several overdosing. Some of them was just a call for help but some of them not.
I was ready to get catch by a train. It was an impulse so, first the train was still far when I was on the fence, second, SI kicked on and third I got catch by someone.
It also happened that I was squeezing my neck with a wire or anything I was finding but more because I was traumatized by discovering someone dead by hanging himself.
All these things were far to be well planned.
I wouldn't recommend it. Just felt pissed and was hallucinating when I was picked up. 24 hours in a&e don't remember much at all and narrowly avoided psych ward again - 2 assessments cos I was slurring too much in the first apparently. I was using them as an antiemetic rather than an actual od but I couldn't get the poison in the bottle so they messed up the fatal part of my plan. Police helicopter was up looking for me but apparently I stumbled through a hedge straight into a police car - just my luck. Zero stars would not recommend.
How many did you take?

I can't see how they would work as an antiemetic.
 
onthelastday

onthelastday

I died long before i met you.
Apr 16, 2021
109
I tried medicine, partial suspension (I almost passed out on this and felt my life draining away) and in outbreaks I took knives and was about to stick them in my neck, but I didn't have enough momentum, I regret every day for not having I tried harder
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cockney_Rebel
avoid_slow_death

avoid_slow_death

Ready to embrace the peaceful bliss of the void.
Feb 4, 2020
1,234
I've tried half heartedly many times, but seriously? Hmmm...4 or 5 at least. Here's a few:

"Aspirin Overdose"

I was 11! I didn't know better! In my defense, I was serious in my attempt at the time. Just didn't know it would take a hell of a lot more than I could probably swallow.

Hanging

Was about 14. Had enough of my horrible life at home and just being a weird and over sensitive freak, so, decided to hang myself. Grabbed the first rope I found out of the utility closet and tied a noose. Problem is, the rope was old and frayed as hell. Hey, this is before the internet was ubiquitous.

Drug/Alcohol OD in the woods

I took a handful of oxys and drank a good portion of a liter of vodka and went and passed out in some woods. Woke up God knows when with an awful taste in my mouth and the world's most horrid hangover ever. Slept it off for like 3 days.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cockney_Rebel
W

Whole-Ad

Student
Apr 4, 2021
168
I climbed up on an overpass, during my most recent stay on a psych ward (I had Section 17 leave.)

Loads of cars pulled up, and tried to persuade me to come down. They were actually really lovely, and it touched my heart.

Then a police car turned up, and one of the coppers asked if he could come a bit closer. I agreed. He was speaking to me, then he asked if he could look over the wall. Once again, I agreed.

Before I knew it, he'd grabbed me and got me to the floor. Cuffed me, and sectioned me under 136 of the MHA. I was taken to the place of safety, then was transferred back to the ward.

I was taking a lot of medication, so I wasn't on the ball. However, it's all a learning experience and I won't fall (no pun intended) for that one again.
Yeah pretty much exactly what happened to me. People held onto me until the police arrived. The police then asked me questions and kept a conversation going in order to distract me from the fact that they were getting in a position to pull me back over. It worked, they pulled me back over and cuffed me, put me in the back of a police van and because I was too agitated they had to take me to the police station as a place of safety. I was kept in the holding cell with 2 officers until I was calm enough to have a mental health assessment done. They didn't want to transport me to another place of safety because they thought it would make me agitated again, so they called people out to the police station to do the assessment there which meant it took a lot longer.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cockney_Rebel
BandAddict

BandAddict

Specialist
Apr 3, 2019
338
OD'd five times. Last time being what I thought was gonna be the last, ended up opening the bathroom door for the cops (complicated situation unrelated to my OD) because I was coming in and out of consciousness and stupidly thought "what if they get mad??"

I've toyed with partial before finding SS. Walked into traffic a couple of times, the one time I thought "fuck it" and walked across the street and slowed to a stop before realizing it was a cop car and I ran to the sidewalk lol
 
L

LetMeSleep4Ever

Member
Oct 12, 2019
30
I'll mention briefly about 3 attempts I tried. Two of them I ended up in the emergency room. One was taking over dose of pills but I did chicken out and told someone and I ended up in ambulance, and they pumped pills out of my stomach. Second was taking water hose to redirect smoke of exhaust pipe back to the van but the hose partly melted and became flaccid from the heat and kept falling off after that. Third was my most drastic and daring attempt. Wont say the method. I'll just say I ended up in the emergency room a second time. I fainted when I did it. My blood spilled all over me and also my surrounding area. Just blood everywhere. I have also in the recent past go for days without food, and have tried days without water also, not sure how dangerous that is though. I know lack of water is dangerous for the liver. And done a few other things that weren't so safe.
 

Similar threads

LonelyKitten
Replies
33
Views
6K
Suicide Discussion
iloverachel
I
LonelyKitten
Replies
33
Views
3K
Suicide Discussion
Sylveon
Sylveon
Octavia
Replies
28
Views
4K
Suicide Discussion
jarik
jarik
stellabelle
Replies
5
Views
534
Offtopic
stellabelle
stellabelle