Venting a close friend of my will probably ctb soon

[vinicuit]

he is my best friend, one of my closest friends for some time now, and he's struggling with chronic depression. whenever he vents to me, he feels safe to talk about his suicidal thoughts

the problem is, i myself also have suicidal thoughts frequently, so i don't feel like i could ever help him properly... and i have a feeling that if he ctb i'll probably ctb just as well (i couldn't feel like handling his death without dying too)

it's very hard to be in this position of not being able to help someone you love, i want both of us to endure e recover, but it's been so long and as time comes, it just feels like we're going to die any day now

 

[Aflame5926]

he is my best friend, one of my closest friends for some time now, and he's struggling with chronic depression. whenever he vents to me, he feels safe to talk about his suicidal thoughts

the problem is, i myself also have suicidal thoughts frequently, so i don't feel like i could ever help him properly... and i have a feeling that if he ctb i'll probably ctb just as well (i couldn't feel like handling his death without dying too)

it's very hard to be in this position of not being able to help someone you love, i want both of us to endure e recover, but it's been so long and as time comes, it just feels like we're going to die any day now

my pigeon brain is striaght away going like
can you maybe talk to him? tell him how you feel.
there is a slight possibility a very slight possilibty that 2 times minus make positive.

im not sure how everything is connected with eachother.
but also what do you have to loss?

my pigeon brain in social activity gets me this far >.<

 

[vinicuit]

my pigeon brain is striaght away going like
can you maybe talk to him? tell him how you feel.
there is a slight possibility a very slight possilibty that 2 times minus make positive.

im not sure how everything is connected with eachother.
but also what do you have to loss?

my pigeon brain in social activity gets me this far >.<

i fear that talking about that It will bring the feeling of his obligation to stay alive just for my well-being, idk it makes me feel very selfish

i want to talk to him about that, but how to do it without making me sound manipulative?

 

[Aflame5926]

i fear that talking about that It will bring the feeling of his obligation to stay alive just for my well-being, idk it makes me feel very selfish

i want to talk to him about that, but how to do it without making me sound manipulative?

so basicly, if he goes you go

you can't expect him to live for only for you. and you dont really want to block it but also want to block it.
you still want to go. with him.

so there is not much option left.

maybe it easier for me because im at the same side as him.
but why not either go together or you both stay?

another issue i see is if you really have "suicidal thought"
or if you are really that scared to loss him that this feelings comes up.

you probally can be honest on how you feel. its the weight of his actions that he needs to face.
but regardless dont manipulate. keep it open regardless on what he choices.

w/e you do dont rat him out. through im against impulsive behavior. but this doesnt sound like impulsive behavior to me.

this might be cold and bad advice but there should be others that might give you different and maybe better advice

 

[Hvergelmir]

i want to talk to him about that, but how to do it without making me sound manipulative?

I agree with your reasoning. You don't want to threaten him into any sort of obligation.

You could very honestly let him know that you'd be sad, and that it would be a great loss, though.

 

[NihilDoll]

Yeah, friendships between suicidal people are... tricky.
Does your friend know that you're also suicidal?

I have to chime in with the others here. I also think that just being honest with him will be the best way to go about it.
If he knows that you're also suicidal, he probably also knows how you will feel if he CTB's.
If not, it's a good a time as any to talk about it with him. It's the biggest, most intimate thing that connects the two of you.
It's thoughts you usually can't share with many others. And you already know, he vents to you because you make him feel safe.
That's a great foundation for it.

But yeah, i think picking a good, calm moment and talking with him about it is the way to go.
And if you fear it might come off as manipulative... tell him that as well. That you worried it might come off like that.
That you're not trying to sway him one way or another, but just don't think you could go on without him.
I'm sure he will understand you. You seem close enough for him to know that you're not trying to guilt trip him in any way.

Your friend trusts you enough to vent his most intimate, darkest thoughts to you. Trust him that he will understand you, maybe he already does and you might be worrying over nothing