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allofher

New Member
Aug 24, 2020
3
With SN is it like you are conscious for about 12 minutes? You can panic and call ambulance after taking it then. And head will hurt a lot?
So i actually survived SN. I wasn't able to call for an ambulance because I was puking so violently that I couldn't breathe.

The paramedics arrived, said I looked "ok" but that I should get checked out anyway. I told the hospital exactly what I did, what I took and they still had to do all the tests to confirm.

1. I was fucking freezing the whole time. I had 4 warmed blankets and I felt like ice and my head did hurt. Dizziness was awful. Don't know how but I didn't pass out. Adrenaline maybe

2. The antidote worked really quickly! But idve been dead if they waited 10 more minutes and everything that comes out of you is blue for a few days.

3. I have long term health effects. organ damage due to lack of oxygen and my skin was yellow for a bit there.

I couldn't drink any alcohol without pain for about a year after. it's about to be 3 years since I tried and I'm a lot weaker than before.
 
C

cutebat

Member
Dec 20, 2023
6
So i actually survived SN. I wasn't able to call for an ambulance because I was puking so violently that I couldn't breathe.

The paramedics arrived, said I looked "ok" but that I should get checked out anyway. I told the hospital exactly what I did, what I took and they still had to do all the tests to confirm.

1. I was fucking freezing the whole time. I had 4 warmed blankets and I felt like ice and my head did hurt. Dizziness was awful. Don't know how but I didn't pass out. Adrenaline maybe

2. The antidote worked really quickly! But idve been dead if they waited 10 more minutes and everything that comes out of you is blue for a few days.

3. I have long term health effects. organ damage due to lack of oxygen and my skin was yellow for a bit there.

I couldn't drink any alcohol without pain for about a year after. it's about to be 3 years since I tried and I'm a lot weaker than before.
Who called ambulance?
And you could not obtain anti- vomiting drugs or they did not work?
 
Sky_atri

Sky_atri

Member
Aug 1, 2023
5
Proplus - high strength caffeine pills basically almost put me into cardiac arrest then ensured I wouldn't sleep for days. Rather stupidly combatted that with benzos and weed but it did cure the insomnia.

Really sad to read this, was planning to try a caffeine OD. How much did you take?
Don't mind the pain, was hoping to make it look like a heart attack to cause my family less pain.
 
AshersGirl

AshersGirl

Girl, Interrupted
Apr 29, 2022
316
Really sad to read this, was planning to try a caffeine OD. How much did you take?
Don't mind the pain, was hoping to make it look like a heart attack to cause my family less pain.
To be honest I don't remember as it was two decades ago. I know it was Pro Plus and I know I took three packets but the strength I'm not sure of, likely the packets had at least 24 pills in them each going by the pack sizes they're sold in but I can't say beyond that. There are other factors, like I was a teenager with no underlying heart conditions at the time. I know it may have the potential to be fatal but I would expect it's quite the gamble. I'm sure others here know better what's considered the potentially fatal dose of caffeine. I don't think I was intentionally trying to ctb when I did it, I think I just wanted to get high and thought it would be like taking speed. 🙄

Hugs to you.
 
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Rhizomorph1

Rhizomorph1

May you find peace in living or dying
Oct 24, 2023
549
Really sad to read this, was planning to try a caffeine OD. How much did you take?
Don't mind the pain, was hoping to make it look like a heart attack to cause my family less pain.
Do not try to overdose on caffeine lol.

Unless you already have a cardiovascular disease you will 99% chance survive.

And be in a ton of pain.
 
D

DreamEnd

Enlightened
Aug 4, 2022
1,835
So i actually survived SN. I wasn't able to call for an ambulance because I was puking so violently that I couldn't breathe.

The paramedics arrived, said I looked "ok" but that I should get checked out anyway. I told the hospital exactly what I did, what I took and they still had to do all the tests to confirm.

1. I was fucking freezing the whole time. I had 4 warmed blankets and I felt like ice and my head did hurt. Dizziness was awful. Don't know how but I didn't pass out. Adrenaline maybe

2. The antidote worked really quickly! But idve been dead if they waited 10 more minutes and everything that comes out of you is blue for a few days.

3. I have long term health effects. organ damage due to lack of oxygen and my skin was yellow for a bit there.

I couldn't drink any alcohol without pain for about a year after. it's about to be 3 years since I tried and I'm a lot weaker than before.
hey, how are you now? is there still lingering organ damage?
 
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worstgirl7716

worstgirl7716

"I'll roll along today."
Dec 2, 2023
25
most medications nowadays are specifically made to be hard to OD on now right? Especially over the counter stuff and sleeping pills and antidepressants and such. It sucks, i used to hear stories of people taking sleeping pills to die and I often wish I had that luxury lol
 
Rhizomorph1

Rhizomorph1

May you find peace in living or dying
Oct 24, 2023
549
most medications nowadays are specifically made to be hard to OD on now right? Especially over the counter stuff and sleeping pills and antidepressants and such. It sucks, i used to hear stories of people taking sleeping pills to die and I often wish I had that luxury lol
Yep, barbiturates used to be prescribed for sleep but now they have alternatives like benzodiazepines which are near-impossoble to die from so barbiturates aren't prescribed anymore.

Most drugs are now manufactured with preventing suicide in mind
 
грустная сука

грустная сука

сладких снов~
Dec 24, 2023
49
Does anyone know if it would be possible to CTB by ODing on Amitriptyline/Elavil? I have a ton of it banked and can always get more. I have no tolerance for it anymore so when I do take it I feel as though I've been roofied. So I figured maybe if I take enough of them...? Probably just wishful thinking, but I thought I'd ask anyway. Any specifics would be helpful. Thank you.
 
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L

luciole

Member
Dec 28, 2023
26
So i actually survived SN. I wasn't able to call for an ambulance because I was puking so violently that I couldn't breathe.

The paramedics arrived, said I looked "ok" but that I should get checked out anyway. I told the hospital exactly what I did, what I took and they still had to do all the tests to confirm.

1. I was fucking freezing the whole time. I had 4 warmed blankets and I felt like ice and my head did hurt. Dizziness was awful. Don't know how but I didn't pass out. Adrenaline maybe

2. The antidote worked really quickly! But idve been dead if they waited 10 more minutes and everything that comes out of you is blue for a few days.

3. I have long term health effects. organ damage due to lack of oxygen and my skin was yellow for a bit there.

I couldn't drink any alcohol without pain for about a year after. it's about to be 3 years since I tried and I'm a lot weaker than before.
Did you follow the protocol diet correctly? did you take anti emetic?
 
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F

ftm68_99

Member
May 4, 2023
42
Preamble

I see a lot of posts on this forum mentioning drug poisoning and/or cutting/stabbing as a method of choice.

I want to caution these methods for a few reasons. I respect the right to choose any method but I'm concerned that those using these methods may not be fully informed on the serious risks or incredibly low effectiveness of these methods.

Re: Ineffectiveness and Risks

Indeed, research by Harvard has placed drug poisonings at about 2% effective, and cutting/stabbing at 1% effective. Other studies have placed both drug poisonings and cutting the arms/legs at only 6% effective. Note that these are aggregate statistics including all drug poisonings, meaning that drugs in the PPH (e.g., SN, N, etc.) are still reliable as they aren't represented accurately by these statistics (they are outliers). However, most drugs outside the PPH that I see people mentioning a lot – such as antidepressants, antipsychotics, anti-inflammatory drugs, and the vast majority of OTC or prescription medications – are well-represented by this statistic.

Meanwhile, the number of potential adverse and painful experiences from drug poisonings or cutting – which often involve long-term complications or injury – are considerable. Cutting bears the risk of infectious disease, traumatic organ damage, hospitalization, and more.

Drug poisonings bear the risk of traumatic brain injury, serotonin syndrome, non-fatal seizures (e.g., antidepressants), liver failure which is incredibly drawn out and painful (e.g., medications containing acetaminophen, ibuprofen or paracetamol; many prescription opioids that are combined with anti-inflammatory drugs come to mind), and various psychosomatic effects ranging from nausea, chills, sweats, headaches, hallucinations, tremors, convulsions, muscle pains, abdominal pain, the list goes on...

Part of the reason that these methods are ineffective is because with drug poisonings the potential to vomit up the drugs and fail ctb is incredibly high. Likewise, with cutting one is very likely to pass out before they can make deep enough and a high enough number of cuts to reliably die.

For these reasons, drug poisonings and cutting can not be considered reliable or peaceful. The only benefit is accessibility but accessibility isn't very meaningful if it just means waking up traumatized in hospital with serious long-term injuries.

I recommend against these methods due to the considerably low efficacy and very high risk of these methods. If one chooses to attempt them regardless, consider an anti-emetic to reduce vomiting and be sure you are informed on the high-risk low-benefit nature of these methods. Even with anti-emetics or methods to reduce/prevent vomiting, drug-poisonings should still be considered unreliable.

There are far lower risk, more effective, and accessible alternatives such as gas (AKA exit bag), charcoal, SN, etc.

Re: Spontaneous and Poorly Planned CTB

The majority of people I see attempting these methods tend to be the ones making spontaneous attempts at ctb. Unless someone is hunting you down to do egregious things to you and time is of the essence (or whatever similar corollary), then please plan your suicide thoroughly with adequate deliberation, materials, etc.

I know it sucks because our fundamental existential dread just wants us to fucking die already; I can relate. But there can be serious consequences to under planned or spontaneous suicide attempts that just make the dread and suffering worse. Take the time to plan and be mindful rather than hastefully ctb.

The benefits of psychospiritual preparation for dying are enormous. While we prepare, I urge people to take the time to meditate on how to ease oneself into dying gracefully. Savour the small joys, even if they are rare or only come during moments of simultaneous pain. Go slow and be easy on yourself. I say this with utmost care to reduce suffering.

May you find peace in living or dying ❤️
-Rhizo
Thank you for these thoughts, Rhizo. I found your comment about the benefits of psychospiritual preparation for dying to be particularly resonant, and I wonder if you or anyone here has any suggestions for reading material that deals with taking time to "meditate on how to ease oneself into dying gracefully." Modern books or maybe some of the Greek authors of long ago? Thanks for any suggestions.
 
Rhizomorph1

Rhizomorph1

May you find peace in living or dying
Oct 24, 2023
549
Does anyone know if it would be possible to CTB by ODing on Amitriptyline/Elavil? I have a ton of it banked and can always get more. I have no tolerance for it anymore so when I do take it I feel as though I've been roofied. So I figured maybe if I take enough of them...? Probably just wishful thinking, but I thought I'd ask anyway. Any specifics would be helpful. Thank you.
It is possible but the mechanism of death will be cardiac arrest which is very painful without another drug to render you fully unconscious.

Read the peaceful pill handbook section on cardiac switches if you attempt this method. Very careful consideration should be taken to appropriate dosage of all drugs involved. You really don't want to fuck it up as it could be incredibly painful otherwise.
Thank you for these thoughts, Rhizo. I found your comment about the benefits of psychospiritual preparation for dying to be particularly resonant, and I wonder if you or anyone here has any suggestions for reading material that deals with taking time to "meditate on how to ease oneself into dying gracefully." Modern books or maybe some of the Greek authors of long ago? Thanks for any suggestions.
It depends on your spiritual or religious beliefs. I will personally be reading the tibetan book of the dead as well as "The conscious mind" by David J. Chalmers.

More than anything I would recommend developing a meditation or prayer practice, and spending time in nature, listening to profound music pieces (e.g., classical music, or to personal taste), and to the extent possible, saying goodbyes to family/friends. This can be explicit or implicit depending on your situation/ability to be honest about suicidality. I recognize most people will be limited in this capacity, however.

In an ideal world one would have someone to talk to in person or via voice chat to provide comfort and support. I firmly believe nobody should have to die alone. But milage may unfortunately vary.

Anything performative and symbolic you can do to find meaning and peace in this transition is a good thing. Trust in the process and be easy and patient with yourself.

The album "graceful passages" by Gary Malkin is a great companion to dying that appeals to various spiritual beliefs simultaneously. I'm confident most will find some peace listening to it.
 
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darkenmydoorstep

darkenmydoorstep

Not Waving But Browned Off….
Sep 27, 2023
385
Preamble

I see a lot of posts on this forum mentioning drug poisoning and/or cutting/stabbing as a method of choice.

I want to caution these methods for a few reasons. I respect the right to choose any method but I'm concerned that those using these methods may not be fully informed on the serious risks or incredibly low effectiveness of these methods.

Re: Ineffectiveness and Risks

Indeed, research by Harvard has placed drug poisonings at about 2% effective, and cutting/stabbing at 1% effective. Other studies have placed both drug poisonings and cutting the arms/legs at only 6% effective. Note that these are aggregate statistics including all drug poisonings, meaning that drugs in the PPH (e.g., SN, N, etc.) are still reliable as they aren't represented accurately by these statistics (they are outliers). However, most drugs outside the PPH that I see people mentioning a lot – such as antidepressants, antipsychotics, anti-inflammatory drugs, and the vast majority of OTC or prescription medications – are well-represented by this statistic.

Meanwhile, the number of potential adverse and painful experiences from drug poisonings or cutting – which often involve long-term complications or injury – are considerable. Cutting bears the risk of infectious disease, traumatic organ damage, hospitalization, and more.

Drug poisonings bear the risk of traumatic brain injury, serotonin syndrome, non-fatal seizures (e.g., antidepressants), liver failure which is incredibly drawn out and painful (e.g., medications containing acetaminophen, ibuprofen or paracetamol; many prescription opioids that are combined with anti-inflammatory drugs come to mind), and various psychosomatic effects ranging from nausea, chills, sweats, headaches, hallucinations, tremors, convulsions, muscle pains, abdominal pain, the list goes on...

Part of the reason that these methods are ineffective is because with drug poisonings the potential to vomit up the drugs and fail ctb is incredibly high. Likewise, with cutting one is very likely to pass out before they can make deep enough and a high enough number of cuts to reliably die.

For these reasons, drug poisonings and cutting can not be considered reliable or peaceful. The only benefit is accessibility but accessibility isn't very meaningful if it just means waking up traumatized in hospital with serious long-term injuries.

I recommend against these methods due to the considerably low efficacy and very high risk of these methods. If one chooses to attempt them regardless, consider an anti-emetic to reduce vomiting and be sure you are informed on the high-risk low-benefit nature of these methods. Even with anti-emetics or methods to reduce/prevent vomiting, drug-poisonings should still be considered unreliable.

There are far lower risk, more effective, and accessible alternatives such as gas (AKA exit bag), charcoal, SN, etc.

Re: Spontaneous and Poorly Planned CTB

The majority of people I see attempting these methods tend to be the ones making spontaneous attempts at ctb. Unless someone is hunting you down to do egregious things to you and time is of the essence (or whatever similar corollary), then please plan your suicide thoroughly with adequate deliberation, materials, etc.

I know it sucks because our fundamental existential dread just wants us to fucking die already; I can relate. But there can be serious consequences to under planned or spontaneous suicide attempts that just make the dread and suffering worse. Take the time to plan and be mindful rather than hastefully ctb.

The benefits of psychospiritual preparation for dying are enormous. While we prepare, I urge people to take the time to meditate on how to ease oneself into dying gracefully. Savour the small joys, even if they are rare or only come during moments of simultaneous pain. Go slow and be easy on yourself. I say this with utmost care to reduce suffering.

May you find peace in living or dying ❤️
-Rhizo
Planning and research is everything. I think because many people are highly emotional when they attempt such things, this goes out the window but it's imperative to success.
 
Rhizomorph1

Rhizomorph1

May you find peace in living or dying
Oct 24, 2023
549
Well the chances of ctb successfully are higher when it's all planned out properly. I think impulsive attempts make up a good majority of suicide attempts.
I'm happy with 89% for SN (as a male; it's 67% for women).

I'm confident that lack of following protocol or contacting emergency services accounts for the majority of the failure rate as well.

Don't know what I would do if not for SN. I'm thankful I live in a time where I could access it.
 
Goku Black

Goku Black

Global Mod.
Jun 5, 2023
3,085
I'm happy with 89% for SN (as a male; it's 67% for women).

I'm confident that lack of following protocol or contacting emergency services accounts for the majority of the failure rate as well.

Don't know what I would do if not for SN. I'm thankful I live in a time where I could access it.
Same here as a male too but couldn't it be because the female population wasn't accounted for or something. Anyway, most of the fatal cases are men.

So am I, after having seen as many failed accounts as i could possibly come across, many of them have the same pattern of not following the protocol or calling for help. There are also the ones that bother me slightly like those who vomit after ingesting sn despite taking AEs but that could be down to several factors. There's also those cases whose sn experiences are much more obscure and different in detail compared to the ones commonly expected from sn ctb but those could be Nitrate.

I feel better with SN than without and having put a lot of effort into it, I'm hoping it'll be successful.
 
Rhizomorph1

Rhizomorph1

May you find peace in living or dying
Oct 24, 2023
549
Same here as a male too but couldn't it be because the female population wasn't accounted for or something. Anyway, most of the fatal cases are men.

So am I, after having seen as many failed accounts as i could possibly come across, many of them have the same pattern of not following the protocol or calling for help. There are also the ones that bother me slightly like those who vomit after ingesting sn despite taking AEs but that could be down to several factors. There's also those cases whose sn experiences are much more obscure and different in detail compared to the ones commonly expected from sn ctb but those could be Nitrate.

I feel better with SN than without and having put a lot of effort into it, I'm hoping it'll be successful.
There were less female cases certainly but not considerably so.

There was less than 50 cases total in the study I'm thinking of and it takes around 300 cases to be statistically significant (representive of the target population) so the 89% and 67% statistics are probably not perfectly accurate. They're good enough for me though haha.

It's hard for me to imagine something as toxic as SN not killing someone as long as enough gets absorbed. Individual factors related to absorption (metabolism, vomiting) taking an AE, etc. Are going to be the primary predictors for success I'm sure.

I might consider putting some SN up my ass alongside eating it just to facilitate absorption and reduce the chances of survival from vomiting.
 
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Goku Black

Goku Black

Global Mod.
Jun 5, 2023
3,085
It's hard for me to imagine something as toxic as SN not killing someone as long as enough gets absorbed. Individual factors related to absorption (metabolism, vomiting) taking an AE, etc. Are going to be the primary predictors for success I'm sure.
Agreed. I think those factors more than anything will contribute to success. Thing is, people vomit and still ctb, how much sn is vomited to make a significant difference in being non-fatal is beyond me.
 
G

Gonnerr

Enlightened
Mar 12, 2023
1,326
Good text and that's why the good old carbon monoxide is been there for a long time to ctb or if you dont have SN or find too complicated the inert gas set up.

A bag of charcoal briquettes is very cheap and a car or some place small is all that is needed when its time to go.

That's what he did.


 
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Goku Black

Goku Black

Global Mod.
Jun 5, 2023
3,085
A bag of charcoal briquettes is very cheap and a car or some place small is all that is needed when its time to go.
Honestly, it's a good method even if I've chosen sn. I was always just worried controlling the Temperature of the charcoal well enough to ctb.
 
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G

Gonnerr

Enlightened
Mar 12, 2023
1,326
Honestly, it's a good method even if I've chosen sn. I was always just worried controlling the Temperature of the charcoal well enough to ctb.
I think it will be SN too , i dont mind the taste , i ve drink many juice and drinks in my life that was awful.

So unless there was an off switch somehow appearing in my body , there is no perfect way to ctb. Each have pros and cons but SN has very little cons.
 
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Goku Black

Goku Black

Global Mod.
Jun 5, 2023
3,085
I think it will be SN too , i dont mind the taste , i ve drink many juice and drinks in my life that was awful.

So unless there was an off switch somehow appearing in my body , there is no perfect way to ctb. Each have pros and cons but SN has very little cons.
Is your profile pic SN? Yeah there isn't any perfect way to ctb considering the options we have.
 
zombiegirl

zombiegirl

the living dead
Aug 17, 2023
107
anticholinergic toxicity will FUCK you UP, shit aint funny man
 
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U

Unsure and alone

It's a slow fade
Dec 10, 2023
116
I know what I'm doing otherwise I wouldn't be doing it 😉
Do you mind sharing ?

My original plan was Overdose.
Very misguided but I'm still sometimes tempted by the pills anyway.

I'm thinking SN now but don't know about how to get it .

I'm still undecided on whether or not I want to go through with it.
I just know for sure I want access to a viable means to CTB.
 
D

Dgafajwd

Member
Jan 1, 2024
48
I'm looking for a scalpel to cut myself with. Everything I have in the house won't cut it. Is there a way to get any in the UK without having questions raised or asking for ID, if it gets delivered then I want to be able to quickly get it from the door and close the door as fast as I can. I still live with my parents, they don't agree with me cutting, they're on high alert to get rid of what I've been using to make attempts with and self-harming with and will ask what I ordered if I have to show proof of ID.
 
EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

The drip finally stops
Oct 21, 2023
797
I'm looking for a scalpel to cut myself with. Everything I have in the house won't cut it. Is there a way to get any in the UK without having questions raised or asking for ID, if it gets delivered then I want to be able to quickly get it from the door and close the door as fast as I can. I still live with my parents, they don't agree with me cutting, they're on high alert to get rid of what I've been using to make attempts with and self-harming with and will ask what I ordered if I have to show proof of ID.
Cutting isn't a very good method. That's literally what this thread is about. You are more likely to end up disabling yourself using that method instead of killing yourself.
 
dizzdesi

dizzdesi

Member
Oct 13, 2023
98
Thank you for creating this PSA. As someone who used to SH, I find it very alarming when there are so many posts with people asking the effectiveness of using it to CTB, asking how to do it, etc. We need posts like these so that these people's questions can be answered outside of their individual discussion pposts. I know that they are desperate, but for their sake I wholeheartedly advise against it. You're more likely to be hospitalized against your will than CTB
 

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