8 Hours till SN ingestion

[Kalista]

leave well

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

Not exactly the word we are looking for, but the Japanese expression "Mono no aware" (lit. 'the pathos of things') which expresses a multiplicity of emotions, simultaneously the sadness for the transitoriness of everything and the gentle acceptance/contemplation of this process, could be somewhat relevant.

The last online activity of the OP seems to date back to today at 5:47 AM...

Thank you for that. I like it. As soon as I hit send, I knew someone would post a non-English expression. Other languages have so many words that sum up multiple things at the same time or expressions we need in English - so many non-English sayings have become popular for me because we don't have an equivalent.
But we should have the equivalent.
Being able to name emotions is important.
I think it's sad / happy / peaceful / confused by new, conflicting & previously inconceivable feelings / applying those new thoughts & feelings retrospectively to people I've known IRL who CTB'd / hopeful / self-hatred for making it about me / sad again. Repeat.
So as grateful as I am for your previous answer, have you got another one for that??

 

[andreamysk]

Thank you for that. I like it. As soon as I hit send, I knew someone would post a non-English expression. Other languages have so many words that sum up multiple things at the same time or expressions we need in English - so many non-English sayings have become popular for me because we don't have an equivalent.
But we should have the equivalent.
Being able to name emotions is important.
I think it's sad / happy / peaceful / confused by new, conflicting & previously inconceivable feelings / applying those new thoughts & feelings retrospectively to people I've known IRL who CTB'd / hopeful / self-hatred for making it about me / sad again. Repeat.
So as grateful as I am for your previous answer, have you got another one for that??

Yes, being able to give a name to your complex emotions (and therefore being able to recognize them) I think is important... I am not a native English speaker, but I do not think that English is poorer than other languages: each language has some peculiarities and untranslatable terms. I do not know if there is a word for "sad / happy / peaceful / confused etc" in some language (but we can invent it: in German for example it is easy to create even very long terms by agglutination, e.g. Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz).
But I can list a few 'curious' emotions if you ever get the chance to experience them:

Ilnix: strange excitement that one feels when one thinks one can destroy something (French)
Muwaswass: To be obsessed with one's own disappointments (Arabic)
Yuugen: Awareness of the universe that awakens a feeling too deep for words (Japanese)
Mbuki-Mvuki: The desire to take off one's clothes while dancing to feel freer (Bantu)
Won: A person's reluctance to let go of an illusion (Korean)
Inat: To hurt the other and at the same time hurt oneself out of pure stubbornness (Serbian)
Mamihlapinatapei: A meaningful look without words, shared by two people who both want to start something but are both reluctant (Yamana)
Aerekjær: Excessive pride, taken to the extreme, that can drive a person to die rather than ask for help (Norwegian)
Huijijiyi: Do not go to the doctor for fear of finding out you are sick (Mandarin)
Mokita: Indicates a truth that everyone knows but no one wants to talk about (kilivila/kiriwina)
Bardo: The fear and desire we feel with every radical life transformation (Tibetan)

(PS: sorry for the OT)

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you all the best.

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

They made this new thread after drinking the SN. Last posts are here:

SN

Update of the previous thread: just taken 6 pills of Maalox nausea (30 mg of meto in total) diluted in 60 ml of water. Update of the previous thread: just taken 6 pills of Maalox nausea (30 mg of meto in total) diluted in 60 ml of water. Took the SN. There’s no going back Update of the...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

I am not a native English speaker

Your English is exceptional - I am always shamed by how thoroughly people learn English & the preciseness they use in choosing words, when we can be so lazy in just flinging any old word around.

but I do not think that English is poorer than other languages:

I disagree, regarding naming complex emotions or multiple emotions or conflicting emotions at the same time.

Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz).

This one I'll never find a use for…..

Inat: To hurt the other and at the same time hurt oneself out of pure stubbornness (Serbian)
Aerekjær: Excessive pride, taken to the extreme, that can drive a person to die rather than ask for help (Norwegian)
Huijijiyi: Do not go to the doctor for fear of finding out you are sick (Mandarin)
Mokita: Indicates a truth that everyone knows but no one wants to talk about (kilivila/kiriwina)

These words would've been helpful when my family was alive!!
Thank you so much for sharing.
I also apologise for going OT.
I meant no disrespect to OP & am happy to delete.
OP has been in my thoughts over & over & over again since their presumed last post.
I wish them peace & hope they have achieved that in whatever follows.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

"I would like to hear your opinions on it in the short time that remains"
Do you want me to be honest? In my conception of death, you will relive all the previous moments, from the day you were born to the day you died. You will see life par excellence, in its smallest details. Every nuance, every movement, every color. I hope you discover the truth!

I really hope this is true. I don't know why, but there is something very comforting about that idea

 

[Infinitespace_]

if a few hours you will be back again in the womb starting from ABC

 

[bestroper]

rip.

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

I really hope this is true. I don't know why, but there is something very comforting about that idea

I find that idea absolutely terrifying, unless it's just a highlight reel of the good bits or making sense of the senseless bits.
I've pushed & pushed & pushed trauma down & it still spills out - I don't want to relive any of that.
I don't know what happens while we die or after we die - I guess no one does.
What I would love to happen as I go (via SN) is to avoid one thing & achieve the other.
I don't want the tachy to win. I've had it severely before from a one off medical issue & it was like a non-stop panic attack on steroids (& I've had a lot of experience with panic attacks). It really confused my brain & sort of overrode it & triggered my fight or flight & SI, things I want to avoid at all costs, for both success & peacefulness.
And to achieve the feeling I've had before every operation (& I've had a loootttt of those) - before the general anaesthesia, they'd give me a pre-med intravenously & I would feel such calmness, such peace, it's the best I've ever felt in my life - the first few times I was too young to know they had already administered meds through the cannula - I thought I was just at peace with the operation & it was a feeling I made & was in control of - stupid. I assume it was some sort of barbiturate - it's not a feeling I've ever had from Valium or any other anxiety meds.
I just felt floaty & peaceful & accepting of what was to come. That's the dream.
If I could acquire any drug like that legally, I wouldn't hesitate for one second. And I'd be long gone. But too scared to break the law.
Apologies again for OT, happy to delete, I mean absolutely no disrespect to OP - still in my thoughts - & I'll stop the hijacking now.