obei
This is the only place where you can say โkysโ
- Aug 4, 2023
- 250
In 3 months, which will be May 20th, I will make my decision on whether or not I will ctb.(I still try to be better lol hope is a shitty hell) I will write in my notebook diary every day, or at least as much as possible, to document and on the day x (May 20th) read everything and make my decision. I am not sure wether or not to drink and do all that or be sober and try and get better. I dont think it will get better especially that wat since I dont feel like the power of will is enough for me.
I mean, I am not sure how to approach this at all. Any advice would be good.
The suicide part: if on May 20th I decide to ctb, here is the plan:
Even before the decision, I will make letters to be able to rewrite them if needed.
Also if I make decision to ctb ill give myself a month to do it to be sure I get to be home alone.
Method will be partial hanging, with a rope that would be 13mm wide.
Also in that last month ill have one try to see if I get things correctly.
Ill use socks to put even more pressure on carotid artheries.
Idk why but I am confident that it will work like a charm, with no prob, and if I get on my sleeping meds ill be drunk-like so ill be okay SI wise I think.
I mean, I am not sure how to approach this at all. Any advice would be good.
The suicide part: if on May 20th I decide to ctb, here is the plan:
Even before the decision, I will make letters to be able to rewrite them if needed.
Also if I make decision to ctb ill give myself a month to do it to be sure I get to be home alone.
Method will be partial hanging, with a rope that would be 13mm wide.
Also in that last month ill have one try to see if I get things correctly.
Ill use socks to put even more pressure on carotid artheries.
Idk why but I am confident that it will work like a charm, with no prob, and if I get on my sleeping meds ill be drunk-like so ill be okay SI wise I think.
