Discussion Zero commitment due SI

[MissAbyss]

I'm already stuck in purgatory for months now since I decided that I wanted to get over with this sh!t, but SI is still holding me back.

This year I lived in extreme waves and windows which can change per day, sometimes within hours.
I wanted to be fully prepared and ready when that moment hits. So I already erased my social media accounts and cancelt all my subscriptions on streaming services etc., a couple of months ago.
I only share a Netflix account with someone and
SaSu is actually my only account left.

Things have been going a bit better the past two weeks, so I've become more active again, listening to music and watching videos etc., But those advertisements are driving me nuts. I know that reactivation of my subscriptions would solve this problem, but now I can't commit to anything anymore.

Is there anyone else who is dealing with this, and how do you deal with it?

 

[peewee]

in the same boat...got severely betrayed by someone i trusted and they ruined my life and isolated me from my friends and community...i still love them and want to ctb for over 3 months...just living day to day. i dont know how to deal either i havent cancelled anything...why not just get the netflix for now xx

 

[Greyhawk]

I can definitely relate to this. I've started writing my suicide note a few times and then deleted it. I've also canceled my subscriptions, deleted my search history, most emails, etc. But I have never ended up doing it due to SI or fearing the pain that it would cause my family. But I don't really have any good ideas on how to deal with it. I sometimes romanticize this idea of succeeding in life, finding love so that's mostly what keeps me going. I have also started reading some books lately and they have brought me a sense of meaning and joy that I haven't felt for a long time.

 

[MissAbyss]

in the same boat...got severely betrayed by someone i trusted and they ruined my life and isolated me from my friends and community...i still love them and want to ctb for over 3 months...just living day to day. i dont know how to deal either i havent cancelled anything...why not just get the netflix for now xx

I'm sorry to hear that.

Well, if that moment hits then I don't have time nor do I want to deal with canceling all sorts of accounts and subscriptions first. I'll probably be in a completely different mindset also, so I don't know if I'll get it done. It's the fear of leaving unfinished things behind. I need to find a way to get over it.

 

[Andarna]

But those advertisements are driving me nuts.

Aren't you on the dark side yet?

 

[MissAbyss]

Aren't you on the dark side yet?

Yes yes, but I'm still a beginner!

Can it also be used for YouTube and Spotify etc.?

 

[Kitsuné_]

Yes yes, but I'm still a beginner!

Can it also be used for YouTube and Spotify etc.?

Yes

 

[MissAbyss]

Thank you, thank you! ️

 

[hmnow]

I'm already stuck in purgatory for months now since I decided that I wanted to get over with this sh!t, but SI is still holding me back.

This year I lived in extreme waves and windows which can change per day, sometimes within hours.
I wanted to be fully prepared and ready when that moment hits. So I already erased my social media accounts and cancelt all my subscriptions on streaming services etc., a couple of months ago.
I only share a Netflix account with someone and
SaSu is actually my only account left.

Things have been going a bit better the past two weeks, so I've become more active again, listening to music and watching videos etc., But those advertisements are driving me nuts. I know that reactivation of my subscriptions would solve this problem, but now I can't commit to anything anymore.

Is there anyone else who is dealing with this, and how do you deal with it?

I totally feel you on this one - I go in waves, and each wave gets me closer. I almost didn't make it past this one - when I really want to just go and let take me away - it was close - but its trule SI tends to "save" you - when you really just want to be dead

 

[capi]

I totally feel you on this one - I go in waves, and each wave gets me closer. I almost didn't make it past this one - when I really want to just go and let take me away - it was close - but its trule SI tends to "save" you - when you really just want to be dead

I agree, each wave will help you.

We seriously need a SI support thread. I see a lot of suffering on here from SI and the most common responses is just relatability or suggestion of benzos.

 

[Flubber]

@MissAbyss It's really positive to see that you're feeling able to listen to music and watch vids again.

I can only vouch for myself but when things that offer instant distractions i.e. YouTube, NetFlix, Amazon Prime, etc subscriptions in times of utter turmoil end up being cancelled/terminated by me, it is a sign that nothing else will cut-the-mustard in terms of distracting for what feels like an "inevitable outcome". It's as though there is no available resources or enough attention span for watching films, reading etc Does this make sense to you?

What worked in the past was ditching social media altogether. Period!!!!!! It removes the impulse to compare yourself and your life to other folks. Their lives may look hunky-dory but they're only going to show their best side to the world. Best breakfast pics may look awesome but the bacon, in reality tasted like dog shit and the sausages were utterly pink in the middle. You nor anyone will never know what went on - or the shit that could be unfolding behind the veneer of a seemingly perfect life. .

Please try not to doomscroll: consider staying away from news, current affairs, celebrity gossip or anything that could induce anxiety or draw comparisons to how you're feeling right now.

Maybe you renew NetFlix subby and give yourself some freedom within limits. Could consider reading a book or listen to some e-books on Audible and make a goal to do this for x number of minutes before striking up the Flix?

I've experienced an incredibly similar predicament and feel the best thing is having a distraction that breaks the crazy cycle of dopamine dependence that fast-fix media can induce. It can induce withdrawal symptoms that I genuinely believe are gonna be regarded as similarly destructive as hard drugs