Venting “You’re being selfish”

[rhiino]

Not everyone tries to stop a suicide out of pure selfishness. For many of us it's out of pure love.

For me that is the very same thing. If somebody tries to stop a suicide out of love it is inherently selfish. The suicidal person gets what they desire, so there only remain the other persons desires (love) that are not met.

 

[Lost1804]

For me that is the very same thing. If somebody tries to stop a suicide out of love it is inherently selfish. The suicidal person gets what they desire, so there only remain the other persons desires (love) that are not met.

Yes, that's true. But many don't want a suicide in the family. The shame of it. I know of families that have been torn apart, literally, because one parent is totally shattered losing their child and just wants to join them, while the other doesn't want to know, they feel disgraced...
So really, on all fronts, suicide and the repercussions can be described as selfish.
Many suicidal people believe the world will be a better place without them. That survivors of their suicide will get over it and move on. That's a myth. Some do, many many don't. Many are then trapped in that same excruciating pain that took their loved one. Many parents suicide.
But at the same time, I believe survivors of suicide have to understand the desperation of the suicide victim. That they just couldn't do it anymore. They'd reached a point of no return.
And only the people who really loved them can begin to understand that.... Can actually empathize with that, because they are in the same position with that huge loss.
When a child tells a parent, who lives them, that they want to die, for many parents that also sounds their own death toll.
If I'd known my daughter was going to do it when she did, I'd have gone with her. And so would many others.
Perhaps some people should give their mum's that invite?

 

[rhiino]

@Lost1804
I am so sorry that you lost your daughter to suicide.

Let me seize on some of your points:

So really, on all fronts, suicide and the repercussions can be described as selfish.

Possibly, but not more than wanting somebody to stay because of own interests.

Many are then trapped in that same excruciating pain that took their loved one. Many parents suicide.

I don't think you can compare the pain, it can be fundamentally different. The suiciding person can experience all types of pain, physical, mental and emotional. The relatives will only experience emotional pain.
Furthermore I really don't think that many parents that lost a child will commit suicide.

For both of those points you also have to consider the severity of the pain. Until the relatives are not suicidal themselves they don't experience the same amount of pain.