your reasons not to kill yourself

[suicidal.lady]

Hi,

Just curious what everyone's own reasons are to not killing yourself? Like what are your 'protective' factors if that's what they're called idk just curious what your own reasons are Xx

 

[leeloosnow]

good question, maybe could get some relevant feedback in the recovery section <3

 

[stoopid]

1) cat
2) feet massage
3) missing firearm

 

[anonaon]

I want to see how I'll look with a beard

 

[Darkover]

will i was born with a gift i started taking my toys to bits aged 5 to learn how electronics work at 16 i got into computer programming
i love to program but due to a injury no longer can anyway i went on to create a lot of software and had 100,000 downloads on it and made 10k profit i wouldent kill my self if i had my health but i can't keep living like this

 

[9thFloorAngel]

First and foremost is survival instinct. That fear that creeps in. That's what saved me the first time I attempted. If I had held on another few minutes, I would have been out and couldn't have called for help. Sad part was, when I woke up, I immediately regretted calling for help.

Second is the people in my life whom I love and who love me. I don't want to hurt them, to put that level of grief into their lives. I think deep down they would understand, and be content that I was at peace, but it wouldn't be any less painful for them.

 

[anagore]

My cat, probably. I can't stop thinking about her frantically searching for me and wondering why i never came back home, and that has held me back for quite a while

 

[Venus13]

False hope, treatment options that havent been done yet, a desire to be more free before death instead of just using death to free me, things left undone, having pets that need me, having people who need me. The longer I wait the more it becomes clear, so.

 

[kindalone]

My sister. She's had a some issues with mental health too and I don't want to further traumatize her. It's been going well for her for the first time in a long while and I want her to succeed in life even though I coudn't.

 

[CannotAnymore]

My partner. He would have to find me... it would traumatize him...

 

[resolutory]

Honestly, I'm not really sure to be honest.

 

[catastrophix]

The guilt of leaving behind pets and family, and the fact that there's a lot of preparation I need to do before CTB. I don't really think I live for anything that makes me happy.

 

[Next-to-Nil]

-I don't have anyone to take care of my cats when I'm gone.
-I want to publish a "real" book, not just a children's book or teenage fantasy with an easy mode word count.
-I can't quit hoping for a good relationship and figure that can't happen once I'm gone.

 

[Depresso]

I haven't fully worked out my views of the afterlife yet and everytime I get to planning that survival instinct kicks in for me to not do it.

 

[burningbin]

My partner. He would have to find me... it would traumatize him...

i hope he is helping you through it.

will i was born with a gift i started taking my toys to bits aged 5 to learn how electronics work at 16 i got into computer programming
i love to program but due to a injury no longer can anyway i went on to create a lot of software and had 100,000 downloads on it and made 10k profit i wouldent kill my self if i had my health but i can't keep living like this

you seem like you have som crazy talent, and you have used it in the past, even if you cant anymore, you can still most likely find a way. good luck to you <3

 

[Bocket]

Mostly out of personal obligations towards other people in my life. Plus one of my parent's siblings offed themselves, and even if it was over 20 years ago, they still haven't been able to move on from it. They still express some form of guilt for not knowing why or what they could've done to prevent it, and I know for a fact that my own death would be far too much for them to handle without some kind of mental breakdown. I also don't want to traumatize my little sister, not just because she's family but she's probably the kindest and sweetest kid I've ever met.

 

[mistake22]

I guess survival instinct

 

[gum]

Quite frankly, all people have at least some kind of programming in their brain to want them to stay alive- regardless of how suicidal you might be. Your body and mind are naturally averted to the idea of killing yourself. Outside of that though, for me personally, the fear of something going wrong; whether it be the method itself or an outside force resulting in me possibly being severely injured and losing my freedom (and possibly my chance to ever attempt again) or be put in a institution keep me going.

 

[suprswag]

-my mom, and dad. (Very close to both. I share a birthday with my dad, I don't know how he would feel on his birthday if I was gone and unable to celebrate with him.)
-cats
-my few close friend
-SI
-Fear of failing to ctb

 

[honeyed_achelois]

my cat and traumatizing my family. my brother attempted a couple years ago and i still remember that day vividly. i cant imagine how they'd feel if they found me.

 

[CannotAnymore]

hope he is helping you through it.

He is great and supportive but I honestly wish we could just be done so I can die in peace...

Without him in my life, no one would even know or care that I was dead.

I failed in November and am planning to try again but I have to wait for the opportunity

 

[Mr. Incapable]

Mostly the cats, and my sister. They're technically my sisters cats & they live with her, but I lived with them for the first 6 years of their lives and I have been present in their lives most weekends since I moved out. They're turning 12 and 13 this year. I can't imagine life without them or losing them.. I've already warned my family when that happens I will spiral out of control. As much as I don't want to leave them, I know they're happy and safe with my sister so I hope I leave this world before they do to save myself from experiencing the pain of losing them.

 

[borderline-feline]

I would need permission from my favorite person in order to die since I handed ownership of my life over to him when I promised that I wouldn't catch the bus. I regret making that promise, but I was afraid that he'd leave me if I didn't. Regardless, I don't want him to feel any pain. I cause him enough pain in life, and I don't want to hurt him in death.

 

[mrkillmyself]

a lot of people do recover so i want to be here when this happens to me

 

[bijou]

the fact i have the opportunity to do something with my life now!

 

[Yakamoz]

Just to troll life a bit, do whatever I want without worry, and die in the process.

 

[playcesifrequent]

I don't want to die alone. I know this is like super selfish but if I had someone with me there to hold my hand while I was dying, I would've already done it and been out of here. I just get really scared and freaked out about it sometimes, but I know I HAVE to do it. I don't want to get into the specifics but my currect situation,,,there is really no other option unfortunately.

 

[Unsure and Useless]

My partner, my friend, and failure

My partner, despite how I always inconvenience them and manage to annoy them, still loves me, and it seems like a huge disservice to CTB when they still hold these feelings. I don't want to hurt them with my passing because I at least love them that much, even if I struggle to show it. Similar concept applies to my friend, though in a platonic sense.

I also am afraid of failing my attempt, whether it be due to SI or my sheer incompetence, and being ostracized because of it.

 

[theboy]

Family, girlfriend

 

[weex]

hope that everything will eventually get better
and find love i suppose