Your arguments against nihilism?

[CTBKnight]

A suicide forum is probably the last place to ask that question but I would like some different viewpoints, especially considering how much of an impact my general view of life will have on whether or not I get myself to CTB. If this belongs in a different section move it there but I put it in recovery because I do think this idea has a large influence on my ability to recover.

I've been extremely nihilistic for most of my life, and it made me really depressed, then at some point I thought I'd give the idea of meaning another try, and after a long bit of that I ended up even deeper into a nihilistic viewpoint but this time it didn't depress me. It really, and I mean REALLY sunk in, I have started to fall into the bad habit of truly following this, as in both pain and pleasure are the same and I can do whatever I want and extremely random things will happen and my reaction can be whatever I want it to be because it doesn't matter. Or maybe this is absurdism now? I can't express the feeling well but it's sort of a strong apathy, and there are waves of euphoria and frustration, which is a completely new feeling right now. I am continuing to go back and forth between wanting to end it and not wanting to, but I can't seem to find any possibility that there is any good reason for me to continue consciousness. I'm not asking for a reason to live I am just asking if anyone has found a different way to view this topic.

I am a nihilist, but I have always viewed nihilism not as meaning "no meaning" but as "no inherent meaning". There is a key difference, as I believe the meaning of life is what we choose or what matters most. This could be money, love, a God, memories, family, being a better version of yourself, etc. Sometimes, the only thing I lived for was just beating a video game or getting grades which can be depressing, but it keeps you going (be that as it may). Either way, the purpose of life is whatever you choose it to be or nothing at all if that is what you wish (or are convicted of even against your wish). Hope you find peace with yourself in whatever decisions you choose!

 

[NoLightRemains]

There's a little bit of overlap with Buddhism. There, the emphasis is on Śūnyatā, translated as emptiness or nothingness.

However, this philosophy is a means of accepting the futility of the material world of impermanence and thus finding peace within it. But it doesn't stop there, since the dissolution of the arrogant, selfish, noisy, suffering human ego - which can happen while the body is still alive - will bring profound insights into the infinite nature of ultimate reality.

Things are more hopeful at the moment, even if the big shift has remained elusive.

I found that the big blockages for me were trauma and the lack of a basic support network. It was only a couple of days ago that I finally started serious therapy, and I'm just finishing up with my current job which has become quite toxic. As such, I've returned to focus on this topic.

It does help a lot to be able to talk about it, though twice now I've drafted big long posts about Eastern logic for the Philosophy forum but rejected them before sending.

The other thing is that from the mind's perspective, the big shift in consciousness is an event in the future to look forward to. This is only partly true, as it's actually something that is already the case right now, but normally unrecognised. Thus, the appropriate action is investigating the present experience, not waiting. I'd made the 'seeker who has not found' into an identity. That's another mental trap. The idea is dissolving identity.

I'm glad you have found some Buddhist ideas helpful. The delusional ego is a dangerous poison and I have found Buddhism to be the most palatable medicine when all other treatments failed.

 

[CrescendoChiller]

The way I've thought about it that helps me still want to pursue life despite nihilism is the idea that I think by itself, 'experiencing' is more satisfying to me than not 'experiencing'. I used to think because existence necessarily included pain, it necessarily was worth avoiding, but I came to what felt like a helpful realization in the idea that 'when I'm dreaming, it doesn't matter whether I'm experiencing a painful/hopeless/threatening/scary situation, or if I'm experiencing something good, or if it's just neutral; I think I'm always more satisfied having a dream than I am not'.

I don't know how many people can relate to that, but that idea is what gives me hope that there is a way to be at peace, or appreciate the experience of existing/having sensations, even if that entails some amount of pain/discomfort/suffering -- enough that I'd rather experience things (even if there's pain) than experience nothing.

And as I've had the time/space/support to pursue it, I've been finding a lot of reassuring things in Buddhism (and it's cool to hear others seem to as well) that do make me think that if you can get past your ego (treating yourself with compassion and acceptance, recognizing thoughts as thoughts that you don't have to attach yourself to, trying to bring your focus to the moment and the sensations/energy of it, and nothing more than that -- appreciating the pure fact that you're able to have any sensations), existence is something that is something that I appreciate enough to not pursue ending it.

I think the other side of nihilism is deciding how you want to guide the direction of 'your dream/life'. Technically, you could do whatever you want, end up in any situation, and still probably be able to appreciate the moments all the way up to the end. But if you think about yourself, there might be some sort of experience(s)/purpose(s) that you're drawn to -- that you'd like to have or like to move towards. This might be what actually justifies you 'putting in effort' or actually doing something to move your life in a direction.
As I'm working towards a place of appreciating/understanding and accepting/pursuing life, I think the most satisfying way to guide your direction is to find something that makes you feel good at the mere idea of doing anything to move towards it.

And as I've been told, and found the most satisfaction myself, the most long-term satisfaction/experience that you'll want to pursue probably has something to do with contributing something of yourself to the world/or something that impacts others.