yew smoothie

[poisonsalad]

i collected about 48grams of yew needles. was going to chew all of them, but the taste is so sickeningly bitter i chucked abt 35grams of it into my blender (so i won't have to chew). now i have a yew smoothie. the thing is, i smelled it, and i gagged. from the smell alone. i really want to ctb, how do i overcome the taste?
edit: i'm drinking the smoothie one sip at a time, then immediately rinse away the taste with a sweet drink.
edit 2: strained the yew juice into a cup, will drink that first and then tackle the crushed needles

 

[ongoingo]

This is an interesting thred about yew

Yew tree

I have recently heard from a friend of mine that a girl he knew killed herself two weeks ago by ingesting some leaves of the taxus baccata ( from latin ) and drinking half a bottle of vodka. The whole tree is highly poisonous. The reason of death is that your heart stops. I have been wondering...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[Praestat_Mori]

OP if you did it I hope it was not too painful and you hopefully find the freedom and peace you are searching for! Farewell!

 

[poisonsalad]

i survived.

 

[troubled983]

i survived.

Bless your heart.

Any side effects?

 

[poisonsalad]

Bless your heart.

Any side effects?

my pulse was at 130bpm at some point. other than that, no.
i'm attempting again now w a larger amount, put all of it in the blender, going to alternate between the yew smoothie and a sweet drink again.

 

[TheDyingSolarSystem]

my pulse was at 130bpm at some point. other than that, no.
i'm attempting again now w a larger amount, put all of it in the blender, going to alternate between the yew smoothie and a sweet drink again.

I wish you luck in reaching the afterlife this time. I hope you have a peaceful transition.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Good luck OP! I hope you find peace and have a good journey!

 

[JAlexa]

I wish plant-based methods were more reliable for CTB... waking up to failure is a terrible feeling. I haven't learned my lesson with wolfsbane last year as I'll be attempting with blended pong pong seeds in September. I hope our plans work out for both of us.

 

[poisonsalad]

i lived again.

 

[Dmoore3232]

i lived again.

How do yew feel?

 

[ih8libras]

i lived again.

What went wrong? What did you do differently this time? Do you have the measurements for how much you took?

 

[yellowroses]

I've been considering trying to poison myself with mushrooms. I forage for edible ones regularly and know which ones could easily get the job done, I also like the idea that it could be easily mistaken for an accident if I decide not to leave a note or tell anyone.

Are you old enough to buy alcohol? Maybe making a highly concentrated tincture would be better, then you could just do a few shots and hopefully have the same effect?

Wishing you peace

 

[Aergia]

How do yew feel?

I feel guilty for laughing at this.

In all seriousness OP, I hope you're okay and not in any pain. Do you have direct access to a yew tree? Because then perhaps you could try using the seeds or another poisonous part of the tree instead.

 

[Dmoore3232]

I hope you are ok too. I was trying to make you laugh. Hopefully you find happiness in this life or the next.

 

[mekurin]

i lived again.

Just as I was coming to check on you.
I hope the side effects aren't too harsh.
Will you be trying again?
Not sure how much you tried but I've read you need around 600 needles or 50g-100g till kill a person. I imagine that the number is higher for higher BMI tho.
Edit: I just saw 48g is just under the minimum. I would go for something like 60 or 70g

 

[JAlexa]

i lived again.

Aww... I hope you're feeling okay. Don't blame yourself for failing, it's the method not you.

Give yourself some time before another attempt. Plant-based methods [generally] have no persistent side effects, so try to reflect on what might've went wrong and formulate a new plan.

I also like the idea that it could be easily mistaken for an accident if I decide not to leave a note or tell anyone.

Precisely my reason too. My family has a minor history of heart problems so it could be excused as an unfortunate accident. I have SN as a backup method if I fail again, but cyanosis makes for an obvious suicide. My parents are the type to raise hell to avoid personal responsibility and I don't want SS to be scrutinized any more than it already is.

 

[poisonsalad]

i'm very on and off suicidal, i don't wanna live but i don't wanna die either. i had 109g of yew leaves. made smoothie, drank half. regretted it and asked the staff where i live for help. they called an ambulance and i was told to throw up. i threw up most of it, the ambulance arrived. went to hospital, drank activated charcoal. was observed overnight, went home in the afternoon (and stopped by a thrift store on the way).
the thing is, i love my life, but i can't stand myself. sometimes the pain of self loathing becomes too much and i have to get away. as soon as i've swallowed the poison i usually regret it and ask for help.

 

[poisonsalad]

attempting again now with 77g needles. i'm boiling them right now, almost done. when i've done that i'll rinse them, make a smoothie and drink.

 

[poisonsalad]

lived again.

 

[acerace]

I wish plant-based methods were more reliable for CTB... waking up to failure is a terrible feeling. I haven't learned my lesson with wolfsbane last year as I'll be attempting with blended pong pong seeds in September. I hope our plans work out for both of us.

I'm waiting for mine to come in and I'll try if I'm still here. Do you know if it works without antiemetics?

 

[ongoingo]

lived again.

I'm sorry about this, hope you don't feel bad now.
If you collected the needles recently, summer is the worst season for taxine concentration (almost 1/4 than winter), so I think you have to use 3-4x the amount used, or waiting for winter...

 

[poisonsalad]

might go gather some wild wolfsbane later.

 

[Orbitc]

I wish plant-based methods were more reliable for CTB... waking up to failure is a terrible feeling. I haven't learned my lesson with wolfsbane last year as I'll be attempting with blended pong pong seeds in September. I hope our plans work out for both of us.

I know where the acconite grows in my city. Why did your attempt fail? Have you taken antiemetics? It was painful?

 

[poisonsalad]

I know where the acconite grows in my city. Why did your attempt fail? Have you taken antiemetics? It was painful?

one of my aconite attempts resulted in a 7 day medically induced coma, the first 3 days i had a temporary pacemaker. i would've died without medical attention. i know from a few other aconite attempts that the first 30 minutes to an hour or so after ingesting it are HELL, because of stinging and numbness in the throat and mouth and hyperventilation. i don't know what severe symptoms (brachycardia) feel like, as i was asleep when i had that.

 

[Orbitc]

one of my aconite attempts resulted in a 7 day medically induced coma, the first 3 days i had a temporary pacemaker. i would've died without medical attention. i know from a few other aconite attempts that the first 30 minutes to an hour or so after ingesting it are HELL, because of stinging and numbness in the throat and mouth and hyperventilation. i don't know what severe symptoms (brachycardia) feel like, as i was asleep when i had that.

This is a very rare cause of death - I found very little information about death from Acconite poisoning and that's the only reason I didn't try it even though I have a lot of photos of this plant from last year in mountain. I've been thinking about this for over a year, but I suspect that the alkaloids of Acconite work the same way as digoxin - that was really painful shit when i took it. I don't want to feel like that anymore and have an aggravated heart problem. I have SN better I'll ctb with it.

 

[poisonsalad]

might attempt with northern aconite later tonight.

 

[day]

might attempt with northern aconite later tonight.

Its such a shame to see you suffering and not having a great way out.. I hope you manage to finally find peace OP. Safe journey.

 

[Orbitc]

might attempt with northern aconite later tonight.

Why don't you choose another method like SN or an inert gas? These are more peaceful methods. Acconite grows a couple of hours drive from my home in the mountains, but I will only be forced to use it in extreme desperation if my SN doesn't work, because I'm not a masochist - I read that acconite is a very painful method and a person dies painfully for hours.

 

[poisonsalad]

Why don't you choose another method like SN or an inert gas? These are more peaceful methods. Acconite grows a couple of hours drive from my home in the mountains, but I will only be forced to use it in extreme desperation if my SN doesn't work, because I'm not a masochist - I read that acconite is a very painful method and a person dies painfully for hours.

i can't afford that