Venting Writing my manifesto is taking a toll on my mental health. I just need someone else's thoughts.

[ljyip]

So I started writing my suicide manifesto a few days ago as a side activity. Man, it has really taken a toll on my mental health. I'm getting constantly loaded with depression in my mind. Working on my manifesto during school gives me anxiety. My friends are just peeking at my computer screen since nobody is doing a literature essay at the moment, and they do have concerns, but I don't want to get reported into involuntary commitment and blow up into gossip. I have nobody to talk to that will truly understand what my manifesto aims to express, except all of you. I just want to hear your thoughts.

And here is my manifesto from a thread I posted a few days ago: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...ntributing-to-my-manifesto.29467/#post-537218

 

[OrangeLounge]

Is this college or high school? Either way I wouldn't write it there, personally.

 

[ljyip]

Is this college or high school? Either way I wouldn't write it there, personally.

high school

 

[k75]

It sounds like most of the problem is location. I wouldn't write it at school for many reasons.

How old are you?

 

[ljyip]

It sounds like most of the problem is location. I wouldn't write it at school for many reasons.

How old are you?

18 (birthday was just a few months ago)

 

[TAW122]

I concur with @k75 here due to privacy and nosey people meddling into your private business. I would do it at a private place, like your bedroom or somewhere where there isn't people around. Also, yeah I'm sorry that you're feeling that way, I also get a bit more sad when I continue to write my suicide note (in the future when I decide to CTB).

 

[k75]

Another thing... This is intense stuff. Any kind of final writing isn't easy to do. Not only does it boil down to your last words, it reminds you of all the reasons why you're doing this to begin with. It's going to take a toll, stir up a lot of bad feelings.

Please take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Don't be afraid to tackle it slowly, and take breaks if it makes you feel bad. And remember you're always free to go a different route.

 

[ljyip]

Another thing... This is intense stuff. Any kind of final writing isn't easy to do. Not only does it boil down to your last words, it reminds you of all the reasons why you're doing this to begin with. It's going to take a toll, stir up a lot of bad feelings.

Please take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Don't be afraid to tackle it slowly, and take breaks if it makes you feel bad. And remember you're always free to go a different route.

Yeah, I was gonna plan to write 10 pages of it outlining my concerns of society
I just want to give the people going through the same shit as me a voice
I truly never knew how brutal this path I'm going down to help others like us
I posted the manifesto for anyone to edit in my previous thread so that maybe I won't have to go through all of the mental pain of writing 100% of it, but it's alright; maybe 1-2 pages is already good enough
I'm just gonna try to focus back on homework; I can't even do the most simple homework stuff since my mind is all going through a lot

I concur with @k75 here due to privacy and nosey people meddling into your private business. I would do it at a private place, like your bedroom or somewhere where there isn't people around. Also, yeah I'm sorry that you're feeling that way, I also get a bit more sad when I continue to write my suicide note (in the future when I decide to CTB).

I'm sorry that you are going through the same crap and that it's difficult to communicate your true feelings
It seems that I really don't have to work on my manifesto immediately
Thanks for the advice