I've receded back to my Sanctuary thread. I was getting overwhelmed with how much attention I was receiving (mostly concern and care, but even that was just overwhelming me. And the bit of negative attention was exceptionally draining). I'm not sure yet where to go. How I'm living is simply not sustainable but I don't have any other ideas for how to improve my situation and have not yet figured out a reasonable next step for dying. I've upped the game with the laxative and OTC pain killer abuse yet again. The doses just keep getting high and higher and higher. I have an appointment soon with my doctor to discuss the insomnia but I don't know if anything useful will come of it. I'm having to get my life back together as far as my commitments and such since it seems like I'll be here for at the very least a little while longer, unfortunately. I really have no idea what to do. I just hope and hope and hope my body cannot take the abuse much longer.
