N
noname223
Archangel
- Aug 18, 2020
- 5,363
I think there are tests that can give you a certain probability whether you develop illnesses like dementia. It could comfort me prior to my suicide that my future would have been probably hellish anyway. However I think I probably would not do such a test. I think such probabilities could drive me crazy. I am already a person with very high anxiety levels and I think such statistics could hang over me like a sword of damocles.
One could ask the question more general would you want to know your future? I think this could depress me. A therapist once told me he finds it comforting that one does not know the future. Ironically he was the guy who once gave me up and thought that I will kill myself anyway. On the one hand side it makes a pessimistic view of the future less certain and gives hope by that. On the other hand I am an insecure control freak who is obsessed by fears and panic. The past psychosomatic pain was so extreme and it is likely it repeats due to the fact I am bipolar that I am always extremely anxious about the future. When I read how often bipolar people usually relapse this gives me the feeling there is no escape of suicide anyway for me.
I think I would not want to know them (to the title question). I already have a lot of sorrows. However I have the feeling I won't reach the age when people usually develop dementia anyway. So I am not sure what the prediction would tell me in that case. You would get it with 80 but wait you gonna kill yourself in 5 years anyway when all your desperate attempts to recover finally backfire. Sorry for being sarcastic my life is pretty shitty and I suffer a lot.
One could ask the question more general would you want to know your future? I think this could depress me. A therapist once told me he finds it comforting that one does not know the future. Ironically he was the guy who once gave me up and thought that I will kill myself anyway. On the one hand side it makes a pessimistic view of the future less certain and gives hope by that. On the other hand I am an insecure control freak who is obsessed by fears and panic. The past psychosomatic pain was so extreme and it is likely it repeats due to the fact I am bipolar that I am always extremely anxious about the future. When I read how often bipolar people usually relapse this gives me the feeling there is no escape of suicide anyway for me.
I think I would not want to know them (to the title question). I already have a lot of sorrows. However I have the feeling I won't reach the age when people usually develop dementia anyway. So I am not sure what the prediction would tell me in that case. You would get it with 80 but wait you gonna kill yourself in 5 years anyway when all your desperate attempts to recover finally backfire. Sorry for being sarcastic my life is pretty shitty and I suffer a lot.