Would you be willing to have kids?

[MrBlue]

I'll probably never get to a positon where I'd need to consider it, unless I secretly reproduce asexually like a plant or something lol

 

[Ren Elsie Jewelria]

Never.
Anti-natalism and efilism FTW.
And what's with the "I don't want kids myself but others, please do."
It's like, I don't torture animals, but others please do if you like. Some twisted double standard. Enough said.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Never was, never will be. I don't even like children.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I definitely won't be sticking around long enough to have kids, not that I want them. I think I would make a pretty shit mother. I don't like that there's this expectation for us to get married and kids.

 

[Sherri]

Yes I have kids, but they grew up and barely talk to the person that brought them to this world, makes me so sad that they barely call me.

 

[Lilacmoon]

i have a fear of pregnancy for some reason, so no, I guess? it feels like it would be too hard to try and take care of them in a world this dangerous anyways. i would not be able to protect them.

 

[stupid little girl]

I would love to, but I probably won't. I am so physically unhealthy that it would be incredibly difficult for me to get pregnant. Besides that, my father's side of the family has awful mental and physical health. Our genetics suck. I shouldn't bring a child or children into this world based on that alone, but I really want kids. But like I said, not gonna happen.

 

[ItsOverIsntIt]

Ugh no I dont want children at all. Childbirth just sounds painful and I dont want to go through with that. Not to mention Im a lesbian so I dont want to have sex with men. I could consider adopting but thats highly unlikely

 

[Heart Shards]

And create more replacement cogs to drive the gear of misery, dread, and disappointment? Fuck no! We're created to be slaves and produce more slaves--nothing more!

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I would but mostly just because my biological instinct compels me to. If I had to I would really hope I could raise them better than my dad raised me. My mom was alright but in some ways she was a little too lenient so hopefully I'd want to be somewhere in between.

That said, no girl would be stupid or desperate enough to want to have kids with me in the first place even if they want kids themselves so guess I'll die. My dad didn't have me until he was 38 so he was practically a whole generation older than all my peers' parents which is a major reason I believe I turned out so fucked up. That's why I'm going to CTB for sure when I'm 30 because then I know for sure no child of mine would ever have a good life.

I changed my mind. I don't want em anymore. I lost my one chance at happiness because I wanted them. :/

 

[Misfit72]

No! Never wanted and now that I'm suicidal less.

Agreed - and referring to children as 'kids' makes me sound like a goat herder.

 

[Nature_is_God]

Hahahahahahahahaha no way

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Please, antinatalists, could you all explain to me more why having kids is wrong/bad/even annoying? I genuinely want to be convinced but it's so hard to get rid of the nagging biological need to make them. How did you all do it?

 

[Mr.Nobody]

No.Most of the kids are ingrates anyway.

 

[262653]

Yeah, if my primal overlords would finally release me. "Here are the fresh slaves you have requested. Can I go now?"

 

[Niirvana]

I do not have the strength to support myself, I could not have children, nor would I bring them to this horrible world

 

[greebo6]

Wouldn't it be kind of selfish, since they never asked to come into the world?

I was always unwilling because I didn't want to pass on my 'ugly' genes or 'mental health/issues (like depression-anxiety- and so on) . I thought it was unfair to pass that on to someone else who had no choice and would have to live with those things. It seemed selfish .But its always made me sad I had to do that and miss out on being a parent . Very sad.

 

[JackieInTheBox]

Please, antinatalists, could you all explain to me more why having kids is wrong/bad/even annoying? I genuinely want to be convinced but it's so hard to get rid of the nagging biological need to make them. How did you all do it?

Birth is basically forcing someone to be alive. They could be raped, murdered, and tortured. You can be the most caring parent in the world, but that will sadly never be enough. One would want a child because of fear of loneliness, but I would rather die lonely than bring an innocent human into this world. Everyone has different reasons depending on their values.

 

[Deformationalplagio]

Deformed people dont really get those chances. Our life is not full of choices. We just breath. Short answer: no

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Birth is basically forcing someone to be alive. They could be raped, murdered, and tortured. You can be the most caring parent in the world, but that will sadly never be enough. One would want a child because of fear of loneliness, but I would rather die lonely than bring an innocent human into this world. Everyone has different reasons depending on their values.

Hmm good points, good points. What if I just want to be selfish though? How can I reconcile my biological urges with morality I don't think myself strong enough to follow?

 

[JackieInTheBox]

Hmm good points, good points. What if I just want to be selfish though? How can I reconcile my biological urges with morality I don't think myself strong enough to follow?

Well I can't tell anyone what do with their lives. I mean we're all selfish in some ways. You'll know your answer in the end.

 

[CrazyMary]

No way, why would I bring someone else to a place I can barely live in. For years I have not wanted them. I ended up relationships for that reason. I see the world as a piece of sh%t and just getting worse. I don´t want to bring anyone here. Even if people say I would be a great parent, that doesn´t mean I have to do it. Besides they are to expensive and demand so much responsibility which I am not willing or able to give.

 

[TheSomebody]

Hmm good points, good points. What if I just want to be selfish though? How can I reconcile my biological urges with morality I don't think myself strong enough to follow?

At least you recognize that you are selfish, unlike some natalists who are so self-centered that they are unable to assume their own mistakes.
Anyway, what differs us from animals is that we are able to ignore our instincts for the better. Also, reproduction is the easiest instinct to ignore, because it does not interfere with your life quality. If you really like children then just adopt one.


I would say that it is very hypocritical for someone to have depression, to want to end their own life, but to accept the idea of having a child.

 

[Ghost2211]

Hmm good points, good points. What if I just want to be selfish though? How can I reconcile my biological urges with morality I don't think myself strong enough to follow?

I'll never stop wanting more babies. Even when I can't stand them I love them more than anything in the world. I still want a baby. I feel so beautiful pregnant, I love childbirth, I love nursing and bonding and watching them grow. I love everything about being a mom, but in the end it is primal and selfish. Having kids won't make your life easier, and it will make dying a million times harder or even impossible. It's completely giving up you as a person, and becoming you as a parent. It means you keep going even when you're so tired and sad everything you do is a struggle. It mean little lives are dependent on you to be the best person you can even when you can't, and knowing if you fail you will destroy the tiny creatures you love so much. You'll get to hold them down when they need a blood draw and watch them look you in the eyes with tears wondering why you're not protecting them from pain (yeah that shit sucked, 2 year old for stabbed 3 times). you'll go days without sleep sometimes because they wake up, and you'll get more poop, urine, and blood on you than you can imagine. That's not even the hard aspects thats the normal stuff. If they end up being special needs you'll helplessly watch them suffer, and your life will be nothing but you and them surviving the results of then medical or psychological special needs they are afflicted with. You'll get angry and sad because you are human but you can't act on those feelings and still be a good parent, so you'll be in your own personal cage.

Just get a cat instead.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I would say that it is very hypocritical for someone to have depression, to want to end their own life, but to accept the idea of having a child.

I guess some people just believe they can be above their depression and make someone to live out their dreams for them. Not saying it's right, but it's still a tempting prospect.

I'll never stop wanting more babies. Even when I can't stand them I love them more than anything in the world. I still want a baby. I feel so beautiful pregnant, I love childbirth, I love nursing and bonding and watching them grow. I love everything about being a mom, but in the end it is primal and selfish. Having kids won't make your life easier, and it will make dying a million times harder or even impossible. It's completely giving up you as a person, and becoming you as a parent. It means you keep going even when you're so tired and sad everything you do is a struggle. It mean little lives are dependent on you to be the best person you can even when you can't, and knowing if you fail you will destroy the tiny creatures you love so much. You'll get to hold them down when they need a blood draw and watch them look you in the eyes with tears wondering why you're not protecting them from pain (yeah that shit sucked, 2 year old for stabbed 3 times). you'll go days without sleep sometimes because they wake up, and you'll get more poop, urine, and blood on you than you can imagine. That's not even the hard aspects thats the normal stuff. If they end up being special needs you'll helplessly watch them suffer, and your life will be nothing but you and them surviving the results of then medical or psychological special needs they are afflicted with. You'll get angry and sad because you are human but you can't act on those feelings and still be a good parent, so you'll be in your own personal cage.

Just get a cat instead.

Really sorry about your situation. I actually can sort of relate since I have an adult sister who is nonverbal and autistic. I have to be in charge of her a lot since it's just my mom and my other sister who wants nothing to do with her. Taking care of her is exhausting and brings so much unnecessary suffering in my family but the level of patience I apparently show with her is exactly why I get told I'd be a great parent, which while I don't quite believe that, I do think raising a normal child would be so much easier compared to my sister but maybe her mere existence already dooms my genetics to potentially produce autistic children of my own which I definitely would not want! Getting complimented like that also boosts my ego which also futilely makes me wish I could be given the chance to try and directly make someone's life better from their birth. I guess there's still adoption but my sister has shown me that I only care about her because she's blood related. Yet more selfishness I can't help feeling.

I would get a cat but.......I'm allergic. Maybe a dog instead? My mom once said taking care of my sister already feels more difficult than caring for a dog so we basically already have one and as fucked up as that is, she's not wrong. :/

I think your post did the most to scare me away from kids, though I don't know if I'm fully converted yet. Main reason I only want to be convinced is so I could be ready for a relationship with someone who just let me go over this issue...

 

[TheSomebody]

I guess some people just believe they can be above their depression and make someone to live out their dreams for them. Not saying it's right, but it's still a tempting prospect.

This is the fantasy of everyone who has a child, they always think that their children will be amazing people and better than themselves

 

[Ghost2211]

Really sorry about your situation. I actually can sort of relate since I have an adult sister who is nonverbal and autistic. I have to be in charge of her a lot since it's just my mom and my other sister who wants nothing to do with her. Taking care of her is exhausting and brings so much unnecessary suffering in my family but the level of patience I apparently show with her is exactly why I get told I'd be a great parent, which while I don't quite believe that, I do think raising a normal child would be so much easier compared to my sister but maybe her mere existence already dooms my genetics to potentially produce autistic children of my own which I definitely would not want! Getting complimented like that also boosts my ego which also futilely makes me wish I could be given the chance to try and directly make someone's life better from their birth. I guess there's still adoption but my sister has shown me that I only care about her because she's blood related. Yet more selfishness I can't help feeling.

I would get a cat but.......I'm allergic. Maybe a dog instead? My mom once said taking care of my sister already feels more difficult than caring for a dog so we basically already have one and as fucked up as that is, she's not wrong. :/

I think your post did the most to scare me away from kids, though I don't know if I'm fully converted yet. Main reason I only want to be convinced is so I could be ready for a relationship with someone who just let me go over this issue...

Autism is indeed genetic, and it sounds like your sister is fairly deep in the spectrum. It's very sweet and kind you give her so much care. If you're anything like me nothing anyone says will really make you not want children. Just don't let yourself get sucked into fairytales about normal children because if it doesn't work out that way you're still in it for the long haul. Pets won't replace babies, but they can at least occupy that space in your heart that needs to nurture.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

This is the fantasy of everyone who has a child, they always think that their children will be amazing people and better than themselves

I mean sometimes it's true, right? You can't say that nobody who has ever lived has not been able to have a better life than their parents as a direct result of their parents learning from the mistakes they've made in their own life and/or them at least getting lucky enough to provide for their kids in ways they never were......

Just don't let yourself get sucked into fairytales about normal children because if it doesn't work out that way you're still in it for the long haul. Pets won't replace babies, but they can at least occupy that space in your heart that needs to nurture.

......then again I'm definitely entrapped in this fantasy right now. I just don't see it as such because I think the world is far too complicated to just draw black and white lines and believe that everyone experiences their own existence as pain and suffering. Plenty of people lead perfectly happy lives with only minor struggles at worst. I certainly know a few. You're also right that I may never be fully convinced otherwise sadly...

 

[allym101]

I couldn't put another human being into this world to suffer, i'd be a terrible parent and it'd pain me seeing my kid turn out the same way as me.

 

[Lostandlooking]

The potential for suffering in this world is just too big. But I never had any biological urges either, so it's easy for me to say I don't want kids and pretend to be rational about it. In truth I cannot relate to people wanting or having kids at all. How on earth are you confident enough to say you will be able to provide a child with all the things it needs? Or how are you confident enough that things will turn out alright? You've got to be pretty positive about people, the world, society and yourself if you decide to have kids. I know what kind of suffering I'm capable of, of what humans are capable of. If I had a child, they would be capable of such suffering. And that's just not acceptable to me.