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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
7,442
Not with me. And not on Sanctioned Suicide. On SaSu it wouldn't be that unlikely to get murdered. But on dating apps.

I could imagine many men dream of sex dates. I am male too. But I am not that enthusiastic about sex dates. I think I am quite inexperienced when it comes to sex. But I have at least some experiece.

I am into dating now since a few years. I think I am quite a niche but when I have a match it fitted better than the matches of a friend who gets more likes. I don't think my outer appearance is the reason though.

There were two women where I thought they were interested in a sex date. One of them told me she was interested in casual dating and she wanted to meet me. She came from a foreign country (Within EU) and she would make a trip to my country and wanted to see me. I have to say she looked really really good and also my type. I was a little bit disappointed when she wrote me she was into casual dating. Personally, I also have to say I had the feeling she might be a bot/had a fake identity. We didn't continue the texting. She didn't write back after I wasn't so pleased when she mentioned casual dating. I asked myself afterwards whether I missed a chance. She looked sort of arrogant and I think I came to the conclusion I had to like a woman in order to have sex with her. And if the sex and chemistry is good why not doing this regularly.

There was another time. I texted with a woman on a app with many horny men. I used this app for serious dating though and women thanked me for that. So I texted with this woman. And then we exchanged pictures. And she sent me a weird picture. It looked like she would have been naked beneath her blanket. I sent this picture to friends. And we were all not fully sure whether the picture was taken for exactly this purpose. It wasn't explicit in any way. But I was slightly unsure how to interpet it.
I didn't go into offense. Lol. The texting ended soon after this exchange wit no apparant reason. And a friend of me had the theory she was disappointed that I didn't start with sexting. Honestly, this theory could be true. I once did sexting with a woman from a dating app. But we knew each other way better, I trusted her more and I thought it becomes something stable between us. There is one difference though. In the latter case the woman was as explicit as one can be about it. In the prior case there was ambiguity and it would have made me so uncomfortable if I made naughty comments or what ever about her pictures when this wasn't actually her intention. I would have hated that. And I didn't conisder her that sympathetic. Also her the fact I still tell this story says something about me. Maybe that I hate crossing borders and that I often struggle with ambiguity in social interactions. But I also wonder whether I missed a chance. But really there are so many stories about sextortion. And sexting is risky. I didn't really like her and this is made it less appealing to me.

I could imagine a sex date when the chemistry would fit. I think other men might have other priorities. There was the autistic, liberal woman. I think she was in an open relationship and I was really confused about her intentions because she never specified the relationship to her favorite person. I had higher trust in her. She was also extremely high gifted. But at the borad game evening I realized she was quite manipulative. I wonder whether it would have become sexual between us if her sociopathic friend didn't verbally assault me. This experience was sort of surreal. This was a woman where I could have imagine friends with benefits until I realized she was phoney. She talked pretty pejoratively about people in my situation at a later time point.

I couldn't really imagine having sex or wanting to have sex with a person I didn't like. I know there is like sex between people that hate each other. I am not sure if this was good for people not that experienced. I think if you have sex with someone (especially if there is an imbalance in experience) you make yourself really vulnerable. I imagine it to be quite fucked up if it turns out the other person makes fun of you for that. Or something like that.

What about you?
 
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lastappleonearth

lastappleonearth

Слёзы на щеках
Jun 11, 2026
645
Not with me. And not on Sanctioned Suicide. On SaSu it wouldn't be that unlikely to get murdered. But on dating apps.

I could imagine many men dream of sex dates. I am male too. But I am not that enthusiastic about sex dates. I think I am quite inexperienced when it comes to sex. But I have at least some experiece.

I am into dating now since a few years. I think I am quite a niche but when I have a match it fitted better than the matches of a friend who gets more likes. I don't think my outer appearance is the reason though.

There were two women where I thought they were interested in a sex date. One of them told me she was interested in casual dating and she wanted to meet me. She came from a foreign country (Within EU) and she would make a trip to my country and wanted to see me. I have to say she looked really really good and also my type. I was a little bit disappointed when she wrote me she was into casual dating. Personally, I also have to say I had the feeling she might be a bot/had a fake identity. We didn't continue the texting. She didn't write back after I wasn't so pleased when she mentioned casual dating. I asked myself afterwards whether I missed a chance. She looked sort of arrogant and I think I came to the conclusion I had to like a woman in order to have sex with her. And if the sex and chemistry is good why not doing this regularly.

There was another time. I texted with a woman on a app with many horny men. I used this app for serious dating though and women thanked me for that. So I texted with this woman. And then we exchanged pictures. And she sent me a weird picture. It looked like she would have been naked beneath her blanket. I sent this picture to friends. And we were all not fully sure whether the picture was taken for exactly this purpose. It wasn't explicit in any way. But I was slightly unsure how to interpet it.
I didn't go into offense. Lol. The texting ended soon after this exchange wit no apparant reason. And a friend of me had the theory she was disappointed that I didn't start with sexting. Honestly, this theory could be true. I once did sexting with a woman from a dating app. But we knew each other way better, I trusted her more and I thought it becomes something stable between us. There is one difference though. In the latter case the woman was as explicit as one can be about it. In the prior case there was ambiguity and it would have made me so uncomfortable if I made naughty comments or what ever about her pictures when this wasn't actually her intention. I would have hated that. And I didn't conisder her that sympathetic. Also her the fact I still tell this story says something about me. Maybe that I hate crossing borders and that I often struggle with ambiguity in social interactions. But I also wonder whether I missed a chance. But really there are so many stories about sextortion. And sexting is risky. I didn't really like her and this is made it less appealing to me.

I could imagine a sex date when the chemistry would fit. I think other men might have other priorities. There was the autistic, liberal woman. I think she was in an open relationship and I was really confused about her intentions because she never specified the relationship to her favorite person. I had higher trust in her. She was also extremely high gifted. But at the borad game evening I realized she was quite manipulative. I wonder whether it would have become sexual between us if her sociopathic friend didn't verbally assault me. This experience was sort of surreal. This was a woman where I could have imagine friends with benefits until I realized she was phoney. She talked pretty pejoratively about people in my situation at a later time point.

I couldn't really imagine having sex or wanting to have sex with a person I didn't like. I know there is like sex between people that hate each other. I am not sure if this was good for people not that experienced. I think if you have sex with someone (especially if there is an imbalance in experience) you make yourself really vulnerable. I imagine it to be quite fucked up if it turns out the other person makes fun of you for that. Or something like that.

What about you?
I wouldn't, I'd only want to be intimate with sb I love and who loves me back. I don't see the point in being intimate with a stranger, although this seems to have been normalised to a certain degree in modern societies. I think that the whole friends with benefits thing rarely works out the way ppl want it to work out, someone always catches feelings. Idk, in my opinion being intimate is supposed to be between ppl who love each other and not strangers
 
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certified_idiot

certified_idiot

Future Lost Media
Dec 5, 2023
151
I also don't like sex dates/casual dating. I get the appeal for some people, but for me, it's way too much danger for such a small reward. I'm on the asexual spectrum, so I don't care as much about sex as the general population. I'm also female and disabled (both physically and mentally), so I'm more likely to get sexually assaulted than most people. My previous experiences don't exactly set me up for success either. A lot of women, after being SAd, become scared of men. I was SAd by a woman, so now I'm just scared of everyone.

I do want to date eventually, but I don't really like people enough for that. I don't know if my standards are too high, or if our society is just shit, or if I'm just paranoid. If it's too much to ask for someone who likes me, respects me, and accommodates my disabilities, then I'm not dating anyone.
 
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lastappleonearth

lastappleonearth

Слёзы на щеках
Jun 11, 2026
645
I also don't like sex dates/casual dating. I get the appeal for some people, but for me, it's way too much danger for such a small reward. I'm on the asexual spectrum, so I don't care as much about sex as the general population. I'm also female and disabled (both physically and mentally), so I'm more likely to get sexually assaulted than most people. My previous experiences don't exactly set me up for success either. A lot of women, after being SAd, become scared of men. I was SAd by a woman, so now I'm just scared of everyone.

I do want to date eventually, but I don't really like people enough for that. I don't know if my standards are too high, or if our society is just shit, or if I'm just paranoid. If it's too much to ask for someone who likes me, respects me, and accommodates my disabilities, then I'm not dating anyone.
It's ok to have high standards, def better than having low standards imo. I'm sorry you had such a terrible experience and I hope you can find your person eventually
 
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Insufficent

Insufficent

Student
Jul 13, 2026
111
Im too ugly, poor, stupid, fat and boring for such pleasantries.
 
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discernment

discernment

Student
Aug 11, 2026
107
Personally no, I don't think its necessarily immoral but its just not for me personally. I need to have a connection with someone before i'd consider being intimate with them.
 
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khora

khora

Member
Jul 17, 2023
45
I'm into sex *slaves* not sex *dates*.
But i know for a fact what i want isn't out there in an 'identical' antithesis to what i'm desiring.
Sex bores me, but relationships with pain and intense control could satisfy me deep down. I love every part of someone and that's kind of the exchange we give out with learning mutual obsessions through extension.
I'm not into 'open' relationships; in fact i like keeping mine behind a padded lock & a secret key..but these are things i typically never openly admit.
 
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NonEssential

NonEssential

Hanging in there
Jan 15, 2025
604
I haven't even done regular dating. I feel like I don't meet the minimum requirements for that stuff.
 
fluorescentpearl

fluorescentpearl

Stirb nicht vor mir
Jul 19, 2026
703
And she sent me a weird picture. It looked like she would have been naked beneath her blanket. I sent this picture to friends. And we were all not fully sure whether the picture was taken for exactly this purpose
Im sorry why did you send a picture of a supposedly naked under sheets woman to your friends? If I was her n I found this out I'd feel horribly violated
 
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lastappleonearth

lastappleonearth

Слёзы на щеках
Jun 11, 2026
645
I'm into sex *slaves* not sex *dates*.
But i know for a fact what i want isn't out there in an 'identical' antithesis to what i'm desiring.
Sex bores me, but relationships with pain and intense control could satisfy me deep down. I love every part of someone and that's kind of the exchange we give out with learning mutual obsessions through extension.
I'm not into 'open' relationships; in fact i like keeping mine behind a padded lock & a secret key..but these are things i typically never openly admit.
Hardcore
 
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ardea

ardea

she/her | is there cheese in the great beyond?
May 17, 2026
63
I'm not interested in engaging in intimacy with someone I'm not familiar with as I'm not particularly interested in sex in and of itself, but see it as more of an activity to be done with someone I'm close to.
 
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starboy2k

starboy2k

“I’ve been digging my own grave for years”
May 21, 2025
768
Few years ago I would agree to sex without a date.

Now. I'm too unbothered by people, and I would rather just wack off to porn. 🤷🏾‍♂️
 
limenlux

limenlux

Impermanent
Jul 12, 2026
295
As someone who engaged in a few casual sexual encounters when I was younger, I was tremendously disappointed and uncomfortable each time. After those experiences, I only engaged in intimacy with women I had known long enough for whom to develop affection.

I struggle with my emotions in a romantic sense, and look back on most of my sexual relationships with mixed feelings, so it troubled me less than expected when mental and physical health issues removed me from the dating pool. It's probably best I never married, because my wife would be stuck functioning as more of a nurse than a companion at this point.
 
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N

noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
7,442
Im sorry why did you send a picture of a supposedly naked under sheets woman to your friends? If I was her n I found this out I'd feel horribly violated
It was some time ago. A friend of me had the theory she was naked unter the sheets. I cannot remember all the details. She sent me this picture after a very short time and didn't tell me to keep it to myself. I think the she was naked under the blanket theory is not extremely likely. It more looked like a normal picture to me. I am not even sure whether I sent the picture to them or whether I let someone read text messages to make sense of ghosting me. I think I tend to be too transparent towards my friends but this has to do with the fact that I need a lot feedback in order not to get lost in this world.
 
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otomedissection

otomedissection

a boring life with feelings too frail to touch
Jun 19, 2026
70
Normally, no. I simply couldn't do it. But I feel like I'm at a point where I hate myself enough that I'd go through with it as some kind of self-harm. Either to punish myself or just prove that I'm not completely disgusting.
 
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lastappleonearth

lastappleonearth

Слёзы на щеках
Jun 11, 2026
645
Normally, no. I simply couldn't do it. But I feel like I'm at a point where I hate myself enough that I'd go through with it as some kind of self-harm. Either to punish myself or just prove that I'm not completely disgusting.
Tbh doing sth out of self hatred never leads anywhere good, no need to make things even worse
 
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jilet

jilet

Member
Feb 12, 2026
32
as a male eventhough i have high libido can't imagine having sex with someone the day i met
 
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SealsOfTheArctic

SealsOfTheArctic

Member
Aug 15, 2026
19
Sure. I'm very submissive so would just need a suitably dominant man and I'd roll over straight away.
 
infinitesimal

infinitesimal

i love you
Aug 12, 2026
54
fuck it, sure. i dont have much dignity to spare. ive had sex with lots of guys and girls. however i dont think id truly enjoy it, it feels a lot like something id do for self-harm or out of necessity.

i really wish to make love with someone i truly love someday and experience true intimacy. thatd probably feel nice
 
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webb&flow

webb&flow

dum spiro spero—take it as it comes
Nov 30, 2024
815
i really wish to make love with someone i truly love someday and experience true intimacy. thatd probably feel nice
i hope you experience that someday too. ♥
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,421
Never done it before, never even done sex in real life. Never even had my first kiss or touched a woman or been touched in such a way by one. I'm 32. I'm about to go on a trip out of state by myself though. If there's any time to try I might as well try it there. Although really I'm not sure if I should jump straight to sex anyway with how little experience I have. I used to be wary of this kind of thing but nowadays I'm so desperate I don't think I care as much anymore.
 
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Insufficent

Insufficent

Student
Jul 13, 2026
111
I'm into sex *slaves* not sex *dates*.
But i know for a fact what i want isn't out there in an 'identical' antithesis to what i'm desiring.
Sex bores me, but relationships with pain and intense control could satisfy me deep down. I love every part of someone and that's kind of the exchange we give out with learning mutual obsessions through extension.
I'm not into 'open' relationships; in fact i like keeping mine behind a padded lock & a secret key..but these are things i typically never openly admit.
Reminds me when I tried to get to know the local kink/fetish scene.
The situation confirmed my sense of inadequacy not in a way someone in such scene would like to feel.
 
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khora

khora

Member
Jul 17, 2023
45
Reminds me when I tried to get to know the local kink/fetish scene.
The situation confirmed my sense of inadequacy not in a way someone in such scene would like to feel.
I'm just bullets for someone, apparently other than myself..but i could always put the muzzle inside of my mouth & pull the trigger.
 
zanshu

zanshu

Student
Jul 19, 2023
199
Have had before. But also led to some uncomfortable situations, so I decided to just stick with my kinky FWB dude who gets me like that lol.
 
Chili

Chili

You're a wizard, Harry
Sep 27, 2023
147
From my experience, more women would be interested in men looking for relationships, not sex first. It's a good thing that, when you click with someone, you really click. It sounds like you have a good personality and are easy to talk to. There's nothing wrong with being iffy on hookups. Also, I think you should ask what someone means the next time someone says they're looking for a casual partner. That can mean so many different things to so many different people. For some people, that might be fwb, or they're not looking to talk about marriage for a few years. Depends, noooo idea why. Very confusing.

Personally, it just depends on how I am feeling. I like to have sex, like anyone else ig, but right now I'm just too busy and emotionally unavailable for a relationship. So yeah, I do have hookups with strangers. They're fine, but you do gotta be careful (for a thousand different reasons). Sending pictures/nudes was never really my thing with strangers, but I liked it while I was in a relationship. You proooooobably shouldn't have sent that to your friends, though
I'm into sex *slaves* not sex *dates*.
But i know for a fact what i want isn't out there in an 'identical' antithesis to what i'm desiring.
Sex bores me, but relationships with pain and intense control could satisfy me deep down. I love every part of someone and that's kind of the exchange we give out with learning mutual obsessions through extension.
I'm not into 'open' relationships; in fact i like keeping mine behind a padded lock & a secret key..but these are things i typically never openly admit.
Nah, to be honest, I'd just be open about it if I were you. There are a lot of kinky gals and pals I know that look for these relationships
 
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Somewhat Suicidal

Somewhat Suicidal

surviving in anhedonia =/= living
Aug 26, 2026
186
I used to be more picky with which women I would (try to) sleep with despite never having had options to choose from...
These days I hate myself for not jumping every single opportunity I've got (then again, those opportunities still would have required some work by me, since women don't really come to you and say "fuck me".

These days, after not being touched by a women for over 6 years I would have an instant sex date with every 2nd woman I see anywhere. As long as she is aesthetically pleasing, I would be game.
Sadly none of them seem particularly interested in me, which is not surprising considering I lost all my charisma due to being depressed as hell for years.
 
W

whywere

Angelic
Jun 26, 2020
4,191
I am NOT going to elaborate at all on this question, except with a yes, been there, done that.

Walter
 
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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
7,442
From my experience, more women would be interested in men looking for relationships, not sex first. It's a good thing that, when you click with someone, you really click. It sounds like you have a good personality and are easy to talk to. There's nothing wrong with being iffy on hookups. Also, I think you should ask what someone means the next time someone says they're looking for a casual partner. That can mean so many different things to so many different people. For some people, that might be fwb, or they're not looking to talk about marriage for a few years. Depends, noooo idea why. Very confusing.

Personally, it just depends on how I am feeling. I like to have sex, like anyone else ig, but right now I'm just too busy and emotionally unavailable for a relationship. So yeah, I do have hookups with strangers. They're fine, but you do gotta be careful (for a thousand different reasons). Sending pictures/nudes was never really my thing with strangers, but I liked it while I was in a relationship. You proooooobably shouldn't have sent that to your friends, though

Nah, to be honest, I'd just be open about it if I were you. There are a lot of kinky gals and pals I know that look for these relationships
In her profile she said she would be interested in an open relationship. And she told me she was interested in casual dating in our chat. I found the screenshots of her profile again. I still have screenshots of our chats. I wanted to look whether there are more red flags she wasn't real. And I am quite glad I dodged her.
 
Chili

Chili

You're a wizard, Harry
Sep 27, 2023
147
In her profile she said she would be interested in an open relationship. And she told me she was interested in casual dating in our chat. I found the screenshots of her profile again. I still have screenshots of our chats. I wanted to look whether there are more red flags she wasn't real. And I am quite glad I dodged her.

Yeah, if you're not into open relationships and she is, it's definitely not the relationship for you :')
 
PersonBeforeLife

PersonBeforeLife

I'm The too many surplus
Aug 28, 2026
104
Absolutely. The dating market is a lonely desert for guys like myself. I'm basically invisible. Any attention even toxic is good attention for me. I'd rather drink poison then live with dehydration.
 
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