Would this work?

[ghostkidd]

So, this is going to be a long one, skip to the end for a TLDR.

I've been wanting to die since I was young. Various issues with trauma and family and being alive in general. I tried and failed when I was an older teen, eventually wound up in a head hospital and decided to give recovery a shot, but even when things were "good" everything has just felt meaningless and like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
The other shoe always drops. I'm sick and tired of trying again and again and again only to get nowhere.
Point is, I've made up my mind. I just want to make sure I don't fail this time.

I have roughly 18mg of tizanidine, sometimes use it to sleep but am now saving it for CTB. When using it for sleep 2mg lets me force myself to sleep and 4mg makes it near impossible to stay awake.

I also have a very large and mostly full bottle of diphenhydramine- I'd guesstimate 10,000mg. I also sometimes use it to sleep but it has to be 50-100mg (with the exception of times I take it daily, then I have to gradually increase the dose). <50mg doesn't do anything and >100mg causes unpleasant side effects that keep me awake.

I have never mixed the two, simply because I don't see the point in going through them faster than necessary.

Ideally my plan would be to take some of the dph and all of the tizanidine, wash it down with alcohol, and take a bath- with the theory that the combination would be enough to let me slip into the water unconscious and stay that way.
HOWEVER, I live with someone and their kids. I don't want to put her through having to find my body and I absolutely WILL NOT risk one of the kids finding me instead.

I'm thinking, instead, of finding a body of water I can get to (pond, lake, puddle, I don't care as long as it'll work) and doing it there instead.

I suppose my overall question is, would that combination be enough to keep me from regaining consciousness once I slip under the water? Does anyone have suggestions for how to ensure that?

TLDR-
would 18mg tizanidine + 50-100mg diphenhydramine + alcohol be enough for me to lose consciousness during a swim and not wake back up once under the water?

 

[mortuarymary]

Could work and make you fall asleep and drown. Not nice for the person to find your bloated decomposed body later though.

 

[ghostkidd]

Could work and make you fall asleep and drown. Not nice for the person to find your bloated decomposed body later though.

I think no matter what, I know someone is going to find my body eventually. Even if I were to die accidentally or of natural causes. Call it what you want but that thought makes it easier to shrug off the notion of how it will affect that person.
It's only different with the person I live with and their kids because of how much I care about them, I guess.

I do hope it's not a kid who finds me but realistically, I don't believe there's a way to make sure of that.

 

[Thanksforeverything]

would 18mg tizanidine + 50-100mg diphenhydramine + alcohol be enough for me to lose consciousness during a swim and not wake back up once under the water?

I'm not experienced with tizanidine by diphenhydramine is a pretty weak CNS depressant. Combining all three could work in theory, but I don't think it'll be enough to get over your SI when drowning. Particularly if you're in a large body of water and you're actively floating by moving your limbs.

 

[ghostkidd]

I'm not experienced with tizanidine by diphenhydramine is a pretty weak CNS depressant. Combining all three could work in theory, but I don't think it'll be enough to get over your SI when drowning. Particularly if you're in a large body of water and you're actively floating by moving your limbs.

are there any easily accessible replacements/additions you'd recommend? currently trying to figure out when. I'd like easily accessible because I need it to be soon. I can't do this anymore.

 

[Thanksforeverything]

are there any easily accessible replacements/additions you'd recommend? currently trying to figure out when. I'd like easily accessible because I need it to be soon. I can't do this anymore.

I can't really think of any sedatives that are easily accessible and would also be suitable for what you're looking for since most of them require a prescription. I would suggest you take your time and try to figure this out properly, instead of making a hasty decision that leaves a lasting impact. You're fairly new here, and while I do understand that you might be desperate, overdosing on pills is notorious for having a very low success rate. More so if you're trying to rely on OTC medications that could cause permanent damage and are also very painful.

Look around a little. A botched attempt is far worse than no attempt, in every circumstance.