Would a loving partner stop you from CTB?

[rustcohle4life]

No. I don't feel worthy of romantic love in my current state and would never try to date anyone.

I don't even self pleasure anymore.

 

[yxmux]

i'd want to die even more tbh

 

[ShackledSoul]

I have family and friends that would honestly be completely devastated, and it would probably irreversibly darken the remainder of their lives. It's pretty hard coming to grips with that.

While I like talking and hanging out with them, deep down inside I know I need to start building distance and eventually just disappear from their lives entirely. Luckily, I have a habit of vanishing socially for years on end, so it's not entirely out of character for me. I may not have that kind of time, but I'll probably limit contact entirely until the time comes.

Romantic love was never an option for me. I'm wholly incapable of it, so that simplifies things quite a bit, too.

 

[moonflow3r]

Not even a mothers love for her daughter can save me let alone some stupid fool who fell in love with me

 

[Grav]

I don't think it will stop me but really makes it hard, so probably go off naturally as I delay. Having a partner and you both love each other can make it easier to get through crap days. And if at the end you still check out having tried it all I feel they will understand and know it brings you peace which is what they'd want for you. Like watching a parent say they want hospice and are ready to go. Been there and we both knew it was for the best and "happy" with the decision, no regrets.

 

[deletednumber]

It would be definetly helpful in my opinion and in my situation,but I know that I will need to work on myself because a lover can't fix all your problems and your life.
I do belive that love heal and save tho.

 

[failureofahuman]

I don't think so. I used to think it would, but I hate myself so much that the affection of others doesn't "get through" to me. I just end up thinking they're delusional, wrong, or uninformed about who I really am. I also can't get crushes anymore.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

Yes, it would absolutely help prevent it. I honestly wouldn't mind either a partner or a true good friend - they need not be a best friend, and I wouldn't have to see them often if they're busy. But having ONE friend in my city who I could see and hang out with, and feel like I have a good friend who understands me would be incredible. Maybe CTB could stlll happen, but having that person would be such a dramatic change from my life.

 

[ignorableaurochs]

no

they can find someone better

I feel guilty they have to deal with all the items I have left behind tho

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Oh it absolutely would for me but I think that's not a good thing. I shouldn't be trying to prevent my inevitable CTB because the world is a worse place with incels like me in it.

 

[StrugglingSienna]

At this point, love feels absolutely fucking suffocating to me. If my dream man suddenly appeared at my side, I would obviously fall hopelessly in love with him, but it would not stop me from leaving. It would just make the going so much more painful than it already will be.

 

[Zoro1029]

Last year when I was admitted to the pysche ward I met two nice girls that I became friends with. One I became very close with and there was obvious romantic feeling between us. She unfortunately was also very suicidal and was very erratic about wanting to meet and cancelled a few times. She would call me in the middle of the night with panic attacks because her ex husband abused her in the past.

She for the brief time we were close made me want to keep living as I wanted to be there for her. She ended up being committed to the pysche ward two more times after we both got out. I stopped hearing from her so not sure if she is actually still alive or not. I still fantasize sometime that she will end up texting me again and we can catch up on lost time.

I dont know if she would have kept me from CTB'ing but she would give me at least one person that I wanted to keep going on for.

 

[Outofoptions1]

Yes.

My ex loved and cared for me more than anybody else apart from my parents, and still does. I broke her heart 3 times and the last instance absolutely destroyed her. She still loves me so much but can't be with me anymore.

It was only after the breakup that I realized how much I truly depended on and needed her. Now that she's gone, all my issues have come out in full force. She was my everything and gave me true happiness. The only time I've ever been happy in my life was with her.

 

[depressed_kitten97]

I have a loving partner, and that won't stop me. I dont think people can ''save'' us. We need to save ourselves. And that is fucking hard and seems impossible for me. So no, my girlfriend won't stop me from ctb. Maybe it's making me more ambivalent, buying me more time since I think about her and don't want to hurt her. But in the end, I know how my life will end. I've known for a long time. And my partner can't do anything about that.

 

[CentreMid]

Just a 3 AM thought, a mental exercise. I know most of us on here are terribly lonely. I know it is a horrible idea living for someone but I was wondering if, let's say, a beautiful person comes into your life, basically your dream man/woman, would that lessen your chances of CTB or at least cure some part of your depression?

Yes. I had a wonderful gf for a short while who taught me what a healthy relationship looked like. To be blunt, it was magical. I really thought she and I would work long-term, though we drifted apart and eventually broke up.

During the time she and I had, my suicidal thoughts didn't go away, per se, but having her definitely curbed any chances of me actually going through with it.

 

[yomander369]

True love is being held while ctb by a partner who gets it. Or maybe ctb together.

In a perfect world I'd grow old with the love of my life and we'd drink N together after one of us gets a terminal illness. But obviously that won't happen.

 

[CogitoMori]

It helped when I thought I had it

 

[L9 CHOCOSYRUP]

Just a 3 AM thought, a mental exercise. I know most of us on here are terribly lonely. I know it is a horrible idea living for someone but I was wondering if, let's say, a beautiful person comes into your life, basically your dream man/woman, would that lessen your chances of CTB or at least cure some part of your depression?

Yes

 

[BRAINWORMS]

I have a wonderful partner, as close to perfect as one can get. A large chunk of my brain is utterly convinced he secretly hates me despite all evidence to the contrary. You can have someone special and precious in your life, but you cannot escape yourself.

 

[endlessmelancholy]

I've never had a partner. I only faced rejection all my life. I think it would stop me from ctb.

 

[Shiru]

Maybe

 

[northevelyn]

Just a 3 AM thought, a mental exercise. I know most of us on here are terribly lonely. I know it is a horrible idea living for someone but I was wondering if, let's say, a beautiful person comes into your life, basically your dream man/woman, would that lessen your chances of CTB or at least cure some part of your depression?

I have a husband. I love him very much. I still want to ctb. Leaving him is the hardest part of that choice. I'm scared to hurt him and everyone else in my life. But life just hurts too much. I wish he would just come with me, but he's not ready for that. I wish I could get better for him, but I don't believe it's possible.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I know it would help significantly. It always helped me a lot when I had someone I could trust and open up to. But I'm not really the sort of person that people are interested in. Plus, I have found that the way I talk about myself is really disturbing to most people. My thought processes and ways of looking at things generally lead me to seeing the best in other people and the worst in myself. I internalize pretty much everything and often blame myself for things. I hold myself to high standards and become despondent when I fail to meet them.

Basically, I'm not husband material, no matter how much I want to be.

 

[mossrabbit]

Yeah, I very much think so. But for me, it's also the added stability and emotional support I crave. I think even a strong supportive friendship would be enough.

Sometimes it feels like the deeper my need is, the more averse folks are to connect. It's like they can sense the emotional weight.

 

[F@#$]

No, it'd just give me something else to feel shitty about.

 

[other-ghost]

I have a loving girlfriend. It gave me some time, but it won't stop me from leaving. The guilt of having someone loving you but you can't even see anything that could be loved from you— when you hated your own existence all your life is suffocating. The whole time, what i felt was guilt and suffocation of having someone trying for me. I love her, but that's why i want to let her go before i ctb.

 

[jifscrater]

maybe - I haven't had it before so can't say for certain. But right now, it's like asking what if I'll win the lottery, both are equally unrealistic for me.

 

[ToANewWorld]

Almost guranteed. I would say.

But this happens because everyone that is not you cannot experience reality in your body and mind, so suicide for your particular reasons will likely seem bizarre.

 

[itsmeagain]

Just a 3 AM thought, a mental exercise. I know most of us on here are terribly lonely. I know it is a horrible idea living for someone but I was wondering if, let's say, a beautiful person comes into your life, basically your dream man/woman, would that lessen your chances of CTB or at least cure some part of your depression?

I think love when it has a name? It helps a lot. I think it can put you in a place where you really want to live.

But whether you can maintain that…? It's a different, much more complicated question…

 

[charliewantstodie]

a hundred percent. for a few years i had a boyfriend and he made my life liveable - i've never felt love like that since and i doubt i ever will. no matter what was going on in my life, when i was feeling bad i'd just think about being with him and i would feel better. being with him was like heaven, and we spent nearly all our time together, i loved talking with him, hanging out, just exisiting together. it was seriously amazing and once in a lifetime but homophobia from the outside world ruined it and now too much time has passed to try again.