DrowningWithin
Member
- Jan 23, 2025
- 12
I struggle so deeply, that at some point, I felt like I wasn't allowed to exist. In my everyday life, I try to hide the fact I'm a person.
I hate when people acknowledge me. Hate when they don't, because I yearn to be human.
I know that I am but never once have I felt alive. My every move is stiff, I'm uncomfortable in my own body. Often small mistakes cause me to turn to harming myself. Yet, pain is so deep I start to become physically numb.
But nothing, ever stops the hurting. I've been nothing but a lazy girl, my depression is so debilitating. I can't get anyone to understand me. There's so many flaws to me, that it's embarrassing. I will never get along with anyone. I was born to be an outcast. An outsider.
The mistakes of my life haunt me everyday. I live in the past when everyone has moved on. I'm stuck in a loop, of never ending struggles. I've gone through my fair share of tragedies like everyone else. I'm no different and there's no need to pity me.
I don't think anyone will see this, it just feels so unbearable. Everyone thinks I'm being dramatic. I wish I wasn't a heartless burden to everyone. Maybe I need to get over my fear of pain. Try drowning, so that I get what i deserve. I was such a terrible person, I can't forgive myself.
To my dearest Maria, I know that my words will never reach you. That doesn't matter. I hope I get what I deserve. I hope that you live a happy long life. While, I may not forgive you now. If it heals you, maybe in the afterlife I can learn to let you go.
I hate when people acknowledge me. Hate when they don't, because I yearn to be human.
I know that I am but never once have I felt alive. My every move is stiff, I'm uncomfortable in my own body. Often small mistakes cause me to turn to harming myself. Yet, pain is so deep I start to become physically numb.
But nothing, ever stops the hurting. I've been nothing but a lazy girl, my depression is so debilitating. I can't get anyone to understand me. There's so many flaws to me, that it's embarrassing. I will never get along with anyone. I was born to be an outcast. An outsider.
The mistakes of my life haunt me everyday. I live in the past when everyone has moved on. I'm stuck in a loop, of never ending struggles. I've gone through my fair share of tragedies like everyone else. I'm no different and there's no need to pity me.
I don't think anyone will see this, it just feels so unbearable. Everyone thinks I'm being dramatic. I wish I wasn't a heartless burden to everyone. Maybe I need to get over my fear of pain. Try drowning, so that I get what i deserve. I was such a terrible person, I can't forgive myself.
To my dearest Maria, I know that my words will never reach you. That doesn't matter. I hope I get what I deserve. I hope that you live a happy long life. While, I may not forgive you now. If it heals you, maybe in the afterlife I can learn to let you go.
