Venting worsening body dysmorphia

[gayboy300]

I made a post the other day about having body dysmorphia as a male blah blah

Anyway, I was at this venue where the main room had a large mirror that reflects the room and without realizing at the time, I kept walking past it and staring at myself. It got to the point where I felt overwhelmed and had to step outside to think/breathe in the only area where there seemed to be silence.

After some thinking (about my body and other things), I started to feel physically sick, nauseous. I felt even more overwhelmed and decided I couldn't take it anymore. I drove home in silence and after a 10 minute walk to my car + 35 minute drive home, I'm laying in bed teary eyed and still feeling like I have to puke just from the thought of/seeing my body. I've never felt this terribly about it before. I feel like I ruined what progress I made on thanksgiving and now I'm big :/

Buying more crypto soon. Eventually I'll have enough for SN

 

[NutOrat]

Man, I feel you on this!! Sometimes I'm able to not think about how I look in public, but then a bus window would reflect me, or walking past a glass building I for some reason decide it's a good idea to turn my head to face it, regretting it instantly. I can't believe I've been looking like this all this time, people around me see THIS? Every time it happens it gives me that stomach-churning feeling. I just want to never see a mirror again...