Venting Worried about my only friend

[xanga]

I really want to CTB but im a little worried about the only ""friend"" i have , i told him my thoughs on suicide and he didn't take It too good , he also have several attemps of suicide but now for what i know he is good.
I always was there for what he needed and now he want to give me back that "favor" , i told him to not be worried about me ( even i know he dosn't really care at all ) he have more friends and things than me and i think he will take my death easy and in less of one week he will be good again but im still worried about it , what if he actually care about me ? Will be he good and don't try to suicide again ?
I just want to ctb because of my future , depression and lonely

I feel dumb af writing this but It is what It is

 

[FuneralCry]

I would always see it as being a terrible idea to be so open about wanting to die, but anyway it's a personal decision deciding what to do, none of us are obligated to continue existing here even if it makes other people sad, the fact is that grief and loss are inevitable as long as one exists here, we are all destined to die anyway.