N
noname223
Archangel
- Aug 18, 2020
- 5,532
I think you got me wrong. I certainly don't dislike you. But honestly you seem for me to be traumatized. This was only my impression.I don't think I've been through a lot. A lot of people here have it much worse than I do. I'm just an attention seeking nigger fuck that doesn't know when to shut his mouth.
Thank you though. It's a weird dynamic inside my head. I don't know what's going on, but sometimes I feel like crying, and other times I feel like grabbing a random person off the street and torturing them for three years. There's more to it, but I really don't want to derail your thread. I'm sorry for that, by the way.
I don't plan on living that long, thank god. I despise myself. The people around me despise me. The people on this forum despise me. I can confidently say that everything would be better off if my brain stem was ripped out. In the event that I don't go out soon, I probably.. I don't know. I don't want to be detained, in a psych ward, prison - whatever. I'll deal with it myself. I get what's coming to me anyways. I'm dirt. Disgusting vile that.. Just awful.
Thank you for.. Telling me this though. I genuinely mean it. There's nothing more isolating and painful than.. Even the "crazy" people to look at you as if you're Satan himself. I like your posts by the way. Interesting stuff.
Moreover I don't think you derailed my thread. In addition even if you did I don't mind that.
I don't despise you. You are just a human being as the other users of this forum. I like certain posts of yours a lot. I am pretty sure the world was not better without you. You are a valuable human being. Noone should be stigmatized for having such thoughts. I really think it is good you can articulate them without the fear of being judged. But maybe I gave you exactly this feeling. I am sorry if this happened.
I think many people on here like your posts. They are often thoughtful.
You are not the one to be blamed for such thoughts. It is not like you have chosen to have them.
I only worry about you. For example you once wrote you felt the urge to hurt an animal. It is not like you chose to have this thought. And maybe articulating it helps in order to avoid such an action. But you could get in trouble. I don't have similar thoughts. And I cannot give helpful advices for you. I don't really understand why you feel like this.
Appointments with my therapists helped me to battle some demons of mine. It certainly helped me to improve. I am not sure which advices could help you. You seem to suffer a lot. This is only how I perceived it.
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