Venting Wish I actually had REAL parents

[asgoodasdead]

I know I'm not obligated to listen to them, but I hate living with them so fucking much. I hate being verbally abused everyday. I wish I could get a job but I literally can't. I think they are infantilizing me. I can't hold my own documents, can't get my own bank account, none of that. I can't even go to the doctors without their permission? I wish I had the courage to FSH right now.

 

[Jadeith]

Shhhhhhshhhhh......
It's ok...
(big bear hug)
You got this.
You will break free.
I believe you'll find a way. More than one.

 

[DeathWish3301]

I'm sorry for your situation. I had shitty, abusive parents, also.

May I ask how old you are, and what country you live in? I ask not to pry but to attempt to offer some possible solutions.

 

[asgoodasdead]

Shhhhhhshhhhh......
It's ok...
(big bear hug)
You got this.
You will break free.
I believe you'll find a way. More than one.

Thank you for your words :)

I'm sorry for your situation. I had shitty, abusive parents, also.

May I ask how old you are, and what country you live in? I ask not to pry but to attempt to offer some possible solutions.

I'm 18 and in the US. Months earlier I almost left home but I couldn't. The one person ik irl offered to come get me, but she also lived with her parents and when they found out the plan was ruined. I also can't go to any family members cause they are also awful people.

 

[DeathWish3301]

Thank you for your words :)

I'm 18 and in the US. Months earlier I almost left home but I couldn't. The one person ik irl offered to come get me, but she also lived with her parents and when they found out the plan was ruined. I also can't go to any family members cause they are also awful people.

Okay. So, you're eighteen. You've got an absolute fuck ton of possibilities. Not saying they're all going to be easy or convenient, but they are there.

I'm just throwing out ideas to help. So I'm sorry in advance if I'm not helpful.

Permitting you don't have any medical conditions that would DQ you, have you considered enlisting in the military?

When I was your age, I had friends that also came from shitty backgrounds and home lifes and did that to escape. Forget the politics and everything else. It was self preservation.

They'd most likely help you get your documents, establish a bank account and everything else you need. The recruiters job is to recruit so they're incentivized to help you.

Gets you far away from your parents, gives you job training, shelter, pay, and so on.

 

[asgoodasdead]

Okay. So, you're eighteen. You've got an absolute fuck ton of possibilities. Not saying they're all going to be easy or convenient, but they are there.

I'm just throwing out ideas to help. So I'm sorry in advance if I'm not helpful.

Permitting you don't have any medical conditions that would DQ you, have you considered enlisting in the military?

When I was your age, I had friends that also came from shitty backgrounds and home lifes and did that to escape. Forget the politics and everything else. It was self preservation.

They'd most likely help you get your documents, establish a bank account and everything else you need. The recruiters job is to recruit so they're incentivized to help you.

Gets you far away from your parents, gives you job training, shelter, pay, and so on.

I am unfortunately disqualified from the military (I did think abiut it but when I found out it sucked). Also assuming I don't ctb before then, I'm going to university (unfortunatelymy parents are choosing the one I get to go to). The school is still close but I'd be living in the dorm. I've looked into their services for students becoming independents, but I don't think their services are good….

 

[DeathWish3301]

I am unfortunately disqualified from the military (I did think abiut it but when I found out it sucked). Also assuming I don't ctb before then, I'm going to university (unfortunatelymy parents are choosing the one I get to go to). The school is still close but I'd be living in the dorm. I've looked into their services for students becoming independents, but I don't think their services are good….

Living in the dorms will give you a ton of independence.

You won't know if their services are good until you use them. Keep that in mind.

And even then, living away from them, you'll be able to get an ID, bank account and all that on your own without much difficulty.

 

[asgoodasdead]

Living in the dorms will give you a ton of independence.

You won't know if their services are good until you use them. Keep that in mind.

And even then, living away from them, you'll be able to get an ID, bank account and all that on your own without much difficulty.

I have a fear about the fact that they have my documents, what happens if they start using it against me?

 

[DeathWish3301]

I have a fear about the fact that they have my documents, what happens if they start using it against me?

Can you specify?

Fear that who has your documents? And will you use them against you in what way?

 

[asgoodasdead]

Can you specify?

Fear that who has your documents? And will you use them against you in what way?

Just the fact my parents have my documents I just don't know what they'd do with them.

 

[DeathWish3301]

Just the fact my parents have my documents I just don't know what they'd do with them.

I guess I'm confused, sorry.

By "documents", I thought you were referring to a personal ID card and items like that.

I don't understand how those would be used against you. Unless we're talking about different things.

 

[asgoodasdead]

I guess I'm confused, sorry.

By "documents", I thought you were referring to a personal ID card and items like that.

I don't understand how those would be used against you. Unless we're talking about different things.

No no I'm sorry I'm not very coherent rn. I do mean stuff like ID, if I do ever leave somehow how would I deal with the facthey have stuff like my SS card.

 

[DeathWish3301]

No no I'm sorry I'm not very coherent rn. I do mean stuff like ID, if I do ever leave somehow how would I deal with the facthey have stuff like my SS card.

I wouldn't worry about it. You get new documents issued for yourself. You'd just request another card from the SSA, in that example.

If they do anything illegal with your identity, you take legal action (civil or criminal dependent on what was done).

You're a legal adult at eighteen and up. They can't open accounts for you, or access them unless you give authorization to do so.

 

[asgoodasdead]

I wouldn't worry about it. You get new documents issued for yourself. You'd just request another card from the SSA, in that example.

If they do anything illegal with your identity, you take legal action (civil or criminal dependent on what was done).

You're a legal adult at eighteen and up. They can't open accounts for you, or access them unless you give authorization to do so.

Yeah you're right and I'm getting ahead of myself. Regardless, thank you I truly appreciate you :)

 

[DeathWish3301]

Yeah you're right and I'm getting ahead of myself. Regardless, thank you I truly appreciate you :)

No problem. You're eighteen, you still got plenty of time for things to change.

Break free of them and your environment, learn how to be an independent adult and see if things get better.

If they don't, the option is still there if you choose that route.