I can't see it, but I have to try and clear up my financial affairs beforehand, and who knows how long that will take. I will feel better when I have my 'escape route' planned and ready for that day.
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yovoyporti
Member
- Jun 19, 2023
- 11
Depends on what the outcome of my own end show will be. Most likely only get postponed. Still have to be strong to do it, but ive had everything already. Ive known love, parents still together, longtime loving relationship with partner, house, nice cars, middle class paradise if thats the best explanation. I never wanted to have more, even when i had way less i didnt care. But all these steps ive followed from parently advice never made me "happy" as idk what it is. Of if you ask, i dont have a specific answer on it. Everything is gone now, not sad or suicidial because its gone. But it isnt going to be better either. Theres no rebuild. I had my best time. Stop at your peak it is for me.
ctb-soon
Student
- Jul 12, 2023
- 166
LastBusHome
Member
- Nov 6, 2022
- 41
In all honesty, I hope not. They say things get worse before they get better but it felt like the inverse has been true lately. Hoping my next attempt is successful. Hoping still to just like not wake up in the morning.
todiefor
Meh might as well die
- Jun 24, 2023
- 474
No, I hope not, it would mean I failed, that would be terrible, the only thing more terrible than now
zaros
insane but in the cool way
- Jan 21, 2023
- 24
i think it depends on how my summer goes, if i even make it there
but i doubt it
but i doubt it
Now that I have SN, Meto, Xanax, Propranolol and Painkillers then I'd say it's only a matter of time before I take that last step but maybe I'll be here next year though.
Elle
Specialist
- Jul 9, 2023
- 339
Maybe? I don't know what's going to happen from a year from now. But my preference would be no. I hope not.
moonlightwhisper
Again?
- Feb 15, 2023
- 14
ever so lonely
terry joseph williams
- Apr 17, 2022
- 282
littlelungs
Wizard
- Oct 21, 2018
- 646
I can't say 100% for sure because I can't predict the future and it depends on how quickly the remaining exit preparations will be done, which has not been easy at all and has taken me years due to my physical condition continuing to deteriorate, but it's very important to me that everything – from my reasons to funeral wishes to what I want done with certain possessions and so on – is as clear as possible for the people who are left behind. By now there's not too much left that still needs to be done, thankfully, but just the mere idea of still living with all of this relentless and indescribable existential pain and suffering a whole year from now is nauseating and beyond exhausting to even think about, and when I look back on my life as a whole, I'm genuinely amazed that I've actually made it this long. Hopefully I'll finally get my peace by the end of this year or early next year.
My wish is to be gone immediately. If I had the magic pill, I would take it. As a new member here, I'm finding it's not that easy.
Stormy Raine
Quietly counting down the days, hours, minutes..
- Apr 7, 2023
- 372
nopeaceofmind
Member
- Jun 11, 2023
- 13
figure8
The sun goes down
- Jul 17, 2023
- 76
Definitely, if nothing else takes me out. I have more of a Mitchell Heisman or Martin Manley approach to suicide. Lots of things to finish, a legacy to leave behind.
imcurious
Member
- May 6, 2022
- 97
I don't know. I think I will, but I really don't want to be. I want to be comforted by the idea that I will have eternal sleep
A_good_username
Making lemons out of lemonade
- Jun 5, 2023
- 12
I know for a fact that I will,but every time I think about existing next year I feel so overwhelmed and tierd, it's so wierd.
Probably not if current situation persists. If at all I am here next year, it will be due to a certain event which will have happened - although I am not optimistic about it. Otherwise this will me my last year in this world.
Zillai
I exist(for now)
- Jul 17, 2023
- 40
nezu.061
built for blame, laced with shame
- Jul 16, 2023
- 21
probably so, unfortunately. just a mix of never planning to ctb + haven't ever seriously pondered ctb except for a few very emotional times. will continue to live miserably, though. hope emotions don't get in the way too much.
LONE WOLF.
PUNISHER.
- Nov 4, 2020
- 1,990
I also consulted the magic 8 ball and it confirmed that it's sources said that I would still be here next year! 'Nuts'
