Will my boyfriend forgive me when I kill myself?

[she]

I'm perfectly fine with the idea of catching the bus and leaving behind my friends, family, colleagues, and basically all of the people in my life.
As morbid as it is, I cling to apathy and indifference toward the idea of the effect that my suicide will have on those around me within my life.
However, there is one person who I struggle to stomach the thought of leaving behind. My boyfriend. I love him with all that I am, and it
hurts me to know that by doing this I'll be breaking his heart. But I can't keep doing this for much longer. He's my other half, and I would do
anything necessary to protect him. I sincerely hope that he'll be okay when I finally go. Will he forgive me for catching the bus?

 

[gottablast888]

I frequent a group of suicide surviviors, all the people whos romantic partner left them felt they werent enough, abandoned, blame themselves for the ctb … this is the reality
a lot of survivors didnt get a note, and the ones that did feel some comfort knowing the reason.
personally as a suicidal person i dont date, i see dating as a thing for people who are commited to life….

 

[Born2bealoser]

F' him, think of yourself. I called my ex to give her dog back b4 I CTB. She offered me money not to EXIT and didn't want the dog back. If you get off this F'd up earth do so

 

[cogmachine]

as much of a copout answer it'll sound, you know him the most out of everyone here. it'll be quite baffling if someone held a grudge and resentment towards you because you were in so much pain that you had to end it. his reaction also depends on how much you talked to him about it. i wish you the best.

 

[Linda]

Why not talk to him, and ask him?

 

[stermc]

I believe that if he truly loves you and knows your struggles, he will not even have to forgive you. He will probably understand, even if he is hurting. The people we leave behind might feel guilty and angry for a long time, but I think that's something that fades eventually and it becomes more about good memories and thoughts.

 

[SoftWorries]

THE CONTAGION OF SUICIDAL BEHAVIOR - Contagion of Violence - NCBI Bookshelf

"Evidence has accumulated to support the idea that suicidal behavior is "contagious" in that it can be transmitted, directly or indirectly, from one person to another

-New York State Psychiatric Institute"

Likely he will forgive you but he probably will never forgive himself. He might end up killing himself too after a number of years of depression without you.

I'm in this situation myself. Having witnessed a suicide and a murder years ago my mental state has deteriorated to the point of wanting to die as well.

You might be gone but your memory will always be around taking bites out of his sanity.

 

[Kundalini Guy]

Depends on how strong your relationship is with him and what you are going through. Unless you are going through the worst of the worst experiences I would suggest you live on with your partner. Loneliness kills so many men and women every year, I swear just having someone you can talk to and get along with well is such a gift.

 

[depressedlover]

I'm going to answer your question from my experience,My boyfriend ctb in feb,i forgave him because i know the reason he did it and i understood why he did that,the only thing that made me upset is the fact that he didn't involve me in it.If he did,we would be two months dead by now.I loved him and still love him deeply,so i'm sure we would still be happy together even in death.
His last wishes for me was to live and be happy.Am i happy? no,Do i want to live? No …That's why i'm here.The only still holding me back is my family.I have to sort some stuff for them before i join my love because i'm in pain,sad ,empty and lonely.Besides a lover,he was my best friend,confidant,advisor..lets just say he was everything i had in this life.
The answer depends on your reason for ctb,if it's understandable to him i bet he will understand and forgive.
Incase you need someone to talk to,i'll be here.I understand you.

 

[vaguebluur]

I'm perfectly fine with the idea of catching the bus and leaving behind my friends, family, colleagues, and basically all of the people in my life.
As morbid as it is, I cling to apathy and indifference toward the idea of the effect that my suicide will have on those around me within my life.
However, there is one person who I struggle to stomach the thought of leaving behind. My boyfriend. I love him with all that I am, and it
hurts me to know that by doing this I'll be breaking his heart. But I can't keep doing this for much longer. He's my other half, and I would do
anything necessary to protect him. I sincerely hope that he'll be okay when I finally go. Will he forgive me for catching the bus?

Probably not tbh

 

[FuneralCry]

The reality is that whatever happens in this world after we are gone could never be our concern as we simply won't be there at that point, nobody is obligated to suffer for the sake of others and anyway death and loss are simply a part of life, we all have to die and lose everything someday. Suicide is just a way to take control over that inevitable outcome.