Discussion will it be a shock to your family?

[Wisdom3_1-9]

If it shocks them, then they haven't been paying attention.

 

[Deleted-User-0]

It's so sad to see names crossed out

That doesn't mean they have all departed. Some people self-ban themselves and potentially go back to their normal life maybe they feel better etc

 

[LostAllHope7651]

If it shocks them, then they haven't been paying attention.

No one ever does, till your gone then it's a massive lose to everyone

That doesn't mean they have all departed. Some people self-ban themselves and potentially go back to their normal life maybe they feel better etc

I don't believe that ... just makes me cry my eyes out

 

[heraclitus]

.
My wife knows that I had suicidal thoughts but probably she thinks I'm better now because I stopped talking about it months ago.

I hide so much, so much and feel free to talk about so little. Part of the pain of which I want to be free is having had to bury and deny myself. So much identification!

 

[LostAllHope7651]

I hide so much, so much and feel free to talk about so little. Part of the pain of which I want to be free is having had to bury and deny myself. So much identification!

Same here, I OD in 2015 but because I don't talk about anything about it people assume your better and it's Easiwr to say upur
Ok than try and explain why your not when you don't understand yourself x

 

[Silver]

My family has no idea. They know I've had mental health problems but think it's in the past and that I'm just lazy and unambitious. I have to hide so much from them

 

[LostAllHope7651]

My family has no idea. They know I've had mental health problems but think it's in the past and that I'm just lazy and unambitious. I have to hide so much from them

I feel people just can't be bothered or don't want the hassle of asking anymore... but even if they did I'd say am fine cos it's no one else's problem but mine x

 

[Isadeth]

No. Not really. It's not really a secret. My dad will act shocked since he's a narcissist and will play the world's best dad card though. My mom expects it. Others know it could happen.

 

[Sensei]

Almost everyone I know will be shocked. I've told very few that I'm bipolar and almost no one that I'm suicidal. For the better or the worse, I'm used to carrying my own burden.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i had what my mom would call "a phase" a few years back, so i don't think they'd be completely surprised. but i have gotten "better" (aka acting because they treated me like shit during said phase), so they'll be like "omg what was wrong :(((( she was always so happy!!!". the signs are there, they just don't want to believe it.

 

[LostAllHope7651]

i had what my mom would call "a phase" a few years back, so i don't think they'd be completely surprised. but i have gotten "better" (aka acting because they treated me like shit during said phase), so they'll be like "omg what was wrong :(((( she was always so happy!!!". the signs are there, they just don't want to believe it.

It's hard for family when we spend so much time saying we're ok and acting like we are, guess it's only people who truest know us and know what it's like that can see through the false act xx

 

[Mixo]

I think they will act to others as if they are shocked. But I think in the back of their minds they have been waiting for the call and hoping it wouldn't happen.

 

[Isadeth]

I should add my husband would be very upset and extremely angry at me, but he wouldn't be shocked. My kids would be devastated, which I worry about since my eldest is showing suicidal ideation. They're probably the only ones that would be shocked if they were told my cause of death. Which I hope would be stated as an accident or something. Friends would do the same old routine of saying we were so close, blah blah blah. My real friends wouldn't be too shocked, but those friends that come out of the woodwork would be.

 

[Mixo]

Yes it will be a shock. My parents think I have gotten better but I just stopped talking to them about it because it brings discomfort to both parties involved. I don't think there is anything I can do to soften the blow either, apart from writing an apology in my suicide note.

Have you gotten around to writing them yet? I have and it's really hard. It took me several tries.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

My wife knows that I had suicidal thoughts but probably she thinks I'm better now because I stopped talking about it months ago.

This is sort of my plan. I've had two attempts. My husband, mother-in-law, mom, and my closest friends all know about the first. Almost no one knows about the second. After my husband found my SN and dumped it down the toilet, they expected me to maybe try again, but I didn't. At this point, my plan is to lull everyone into a false sense of security so it leaves their minds and their not "on the lookout." Then I can go uninhibited.

My kids would be devastated, which I worry about since my eldest is showing suicidal ideation. They're probably the only ones that would be shocked if they were told my cause of death. Which I hope would be stated as an accident or something.

It's so hard with kids, because it can have such challenging effects on them for years to come. Even if they learn later in life that it was actually a suicide, often that bit of reality can be extremely difficult to deal with.

 

[Nymph]

Not shocked but probably surprised about how early? My mom told me multiple times that I'll end my life by suicide in the future but then when I tell her I wanna ctb she won't believe me. She gives me these ideas and then won't believe me when I started believing her manipulations

 

[Deleted member 18655]

It will crush my family. My dad's got high blood pressure. I don't know what it will do to him

 

[ixkitty]

I actually believe my family will be surprised, but not shocked. I've attempted twice before, and obviously both times failed..

 

[TAW122]

I believe they will be shocked, angry, and mostly very sad. I don't think they will be surprised because they knew I struggled in life, financially, socially, and in other areas. While I never directly expressed my desire to CTB directly, in the past, I've hinted (unintentionally) that life isn't worth living for under certain circumstances. They won't be shocked at the result as much as they would be at the timing, which is inevitable. As for people who know me IRL (outside of family), I could imagine them being sad, but quickly moving on. The most disgusting thing about them is they would write it off as another mental illness and/or double down on their stance of suicide prevention which completely dismisses and ignores the factors that cause someone to want to CTB in the first place (a majority of pro-lifers do this and it's a shame). Of course, I would be dead so how they react, family or other people, is no longer a problem for me but for themselves.

 

[Anthagonos]

There will definitely be an element of shock but I don't think it'll be a huge amount. They know of my thoughts and how I've been feeling. Old friends and acquaintances will be more shocked I think.

At home the same...
She only wants to make me feel bad all day. When I die she will be shocked because she will be alone the rest of her life. But not because I would be death.
She has no friends, her own family has refused her, she has been divorced 3 times, etc... the only person she has is me and she only wants to have 200 percent control over me. She knows I dont feel ok. But she doesnt bother about that.

My family has no idea. They know I've had mental health problems but think it's in the past and that I'm just lazy and unambitious. I have to hide so much from them

Just an hour ago I told my mom about my feelings and it ended bad. I have to hide everything and act as I am happy.

I actually believe my family will be surprised, but not shocked. I've attempted twice before, and obviously both times failed..

I attempted once in the past and she wasnt surprised. She called the ambulance and that is all. The doctor put me on some medications and my mother didnt look if I was taking those medications.

i had what my mom would call "a phase" a few years back, so i don't think they'd be completely surprised. but i have gotten "better" (aka acting because they treated me like shit during said phase), so they'll be like "omg what was wrong :(((( she was always so happy!!!". the signs are there, they just don't want to believe it.

My mom always is telling that she had done all the "best" for me. She has cooked for me, she has offered a bed in home, etc... facepalm.

 

[Lupgevif]

Yes. My parents never took it seriously. My other relatives can't even imagine. There hasn't been a suicide in the family for generations now, I will shake things around a bit.

 

[curiouskitty]

Parents will probably be shocked, as they have been living in denial regarding the severity of my depression for years now. The rest of the family is pretty much aware I am at the end of my rope.

Same with friends. They know I have been considering suicide for years now.

 

[Sinai Silence]

It shouldn't be a shock since I've had so many attempts and I feel it seems obvious I'm not doing well. I know somehow they will act shocked, like they never even knew I was depressed in the first place. Blissfully unaware of the suffering I feel when they just chose to ignore it.

 

[SipSop]

At this point no.
After attempts and after I kept telling them they are something like: we cannot do anything about it and do not tell me anymore.

 

[draw a circle]

Definitely shocked. I like to think I'm good at hiding how I really feel. My friends might have some clues but my family had no idea. If I did it, it would be super out of the blue.

 

[W3akCr3atur3]

They know I am not doing well and I told them my suicidal thoughts, but it was never taken serious. It probably will be a shock.

 

[ritsulover]

Not at all. I've been spiraling for the past year now, everyone knows this. My mom knows about my benzo and alcohol abuse so she knows I dont care for my well being. Not to mention the two hospitalizations

Only person I think it'll hurt is my mom. That kinda hurts me but I hope she'd understand cause we have the same issues. She shouldn't have given birth to me to begin with knowing I would inherit them.

 

[It'sNotLookingGood]

Idk it it'll be a shock per se, but probably somewhat devastating.
My mom can manage eventually I think, distracting herself with work and her other kids.
My dad should try and focus on work and my sister, but it'll hit him a lot harder. I know he's gonna feel so guilty, but he really shouldn't.

It's so selfish of me to effectively dump my problems on their lap and ctb, but it's equally selfish of them to expect me to carry on suffering indefinitely. Just a shitty position overall - no right play.

 

[WFJ74]

Yes I'm sure it will be. At the time I thought it was a good thing but now I realize it wasn't but my grandfather saved me when I attempted at 19 and he never told anyone about it. He's passed away now so no one in my family has any idea.

 

[Jack4230]

It's so sad to see names crossed out

I agree, but in a way it's nice to think that they're free of their suffering now.