Discussion Will finding love save you from ctb?

[coolgal82]

ngl for me yes. i think anyway. it'd make living like 200000x easier atleast. idk.

 

[LunarLight]

Found love and have been happily married for a year now. I can confidently say I would not be on this planet wasn't it for my partner. They're my number one reason to keep pushing on.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I am like this too. Being in a relationship with someone helps me immensely. It's unfortunate that it does not last.

 

[kunikuzushi]

No. A person loving me can't change the fact that life is constant suffering. Nothing can change that. And when people love me I just feel suffocated and pressured to "get better."

 

[never]

Probably not. It might save me a few years before things just go back to normal as in back to my self loathing. I'm honestly just not healthy or be around
Probably not. It might save me a few years before things just go back to normal as in back to my self loathing. I'm honestly just not healthy or be around

 

[EmptyCurtainCall]

fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkk no

 

[PI3.14]

it depends. My situation is difficult. I'm back to college and I'm almost 27. 5'5 (165cm).

Therfore, it's difficult for one like me to find love. I honestly gave up. If I had a gun I would've already blown my brain.

My existence is painful. I don't want this life of mine. I don't want this body of a middle schooler. I hate how I'm nor looked at as a man. I hate how my life turned out to be.

If by love ypu mean someone who accepts me for who I am and accepts my flows and is there for me all the time no matter what, then I think that will help tremendously.

But I can only dream of such thing happening. Therfore, death is my preferred choice...since I at least can act on it while I can't act on finding love.

 

[Wolf Girl]

Having a healthy relationship would give me a reason to recover. I'm not naive enough to think a partner will fix me, but if I had a reason to try, then I know I could recover. But I'm alone and nothing but a sex object so ctb it is.

 

[sobsob]

unfortunately no. finding love doesn't change anything.
i found love around 7 months ago, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me and he loves me completely purely. he isn't perfect, but he is by far the most caring, thoughtful, emotionally intelligent person I have ever met. he knows of all my flaws, all of my struggles, and still loves me. he knows that I think about cbt, and I know that I am really difficult to love sometimes, and he still loves me. i love him so much, but I'm still here on this website.
when I was a kid I definitely thought that finding a love like him would save me. the fact that I've found him is honestly the most fortunate thing that's ever happened to me. but I still think about cbt so deeply and sincerely. i still think that there is not a single good aspect of life that makes up for the bad -- not even him.
the last thing I want to do is hurt him. i love him. but I also know that there is no saving me. i feel selfish sometimes. i might break up with him before I do it, so that he might feel a bit less grief. idk. i feel so much guilt about this.

 

[identity0]

It worked for me. Put me in recovery for a few years. It did work, the only thing ive found that worked. But then having it end with rejection is like a slingshot effect. Lifted up only to be slammed down, soul ripped out. Finding someone at all is almost impossible, but really you want someone that will stay forever and good luck with that. Even if i entered a relationship i would always think how i know from my past experience that any day you can wake up and the light is gone from their eyes when you least expect it. Bet everything you own on roulette at a casino while youre at it because youll need good luck

 

[LXR515]

I think love can help some people, but personally the relationships and love that I have found even if they've been good for some time, won't change the mental unwellness of my mind the past decade and doesn't change the fact I'm gonna die from CTB eventualy.

 

[maka]

Yes. 100%.

 

[Phantomygg]

Maybe it would, but I've experienced too much rejection in my life to even try

 

[let.me.let.go87]

I have someone that loves me, flaws and all. And I'm still depressed as hell. His love can't fix what's already broken. He's amazing. He's the best thing to ever happened to me but I'm already broken beyond repair.

 

[tinyboxer]

No I kinda wish I had this intense desire for a relationship like everyone else does but deep down (even after dating) I just don't care. I'm ready to go

 

[Demian]

No

 

[pyx]

can for some. i think that it would ameliorate my current symptoms, but wouldn't signify their complete erasure

 

[SoulCage]

I believe that we all handle social relations (including love relations) differently. It depends on how we were raised.
That's why it can help for some people, but for others it doesn't work at all.

I met my partner 15 years ago when I was 17 and we have been together ever since. I love him and the first years I was motivated to build a future together. But now I have come to the conclusion that whatever I do, I am not good enough for the complexities of adult life. I am in so much pain and can't support him at all.

I am writing this because this relationship is now as burdensome as having no relationship at all. Because I know that I can't give him his happy future that he wants (kids, travel, whatever) and I feel trapped because I make him miserable either way (stay with him or CTB). He keeps me alive, but I am in so much pain.

I really wish I never met him. He is so sweet he deserves someone much better than me. I feel guilty that I made him care about me in the first place

 

[fm3a]

no & in some ways it can make the urge worse. i think my partner is perfect and i know he loves me but I make his life harder and more stressful in many ways and every time I disappoint him in spite of my best efforts I feel so insanely worthless and full of self loathing. I love him so much and am wracked with guilt at the fact that I am such a burden to him lol. very similar to the previous post in this thread but yeah.

 

[soledad.virgen]

it delayed it for me. but long story short i ruined it, and now i realize it was just a delay. I can't find my own happiness and sense of purpose, and i dont want to be a burden to others and let them feel like "oh if i leave then sol will just waste away" ie. pressured to stay just because im so inept. I don't deserve to live and to be such a burden. it's not healthy for either me or my favorite person for me to need them to live. its a horrible mindset and i just want to let others know to please not carry it (not that i think you should ctb if you can't make yourself happy, just please don't rely on others it can make them feel bad)

 

[NoRespawn]

I believe that we all handle social relations (including love relations) differently. It depends on how we were raised.
That's why it can help for some people, but for others it doesn't work at all.

I met my partner 15 years ago when I was 17 and we have been together ever since. I love him and the first years I was motivated to build a future together. But now I have come to the conclusion that whatever I do, I am not good enough for the complexities of adult life. I am in so much pain and can't support him at all.

I am writing this because this relationship is now as burdensome as having no relationship at all. Because I know that I can't give him his happy future that he wants (kids, travel, whatever) and I feel trapped because I make him miserable either way (stay with him or CTB). He keeps me alive, but I am in so much pain.

I really wish I never met him. He is so sweet he deserves someone much better than me. I feel guilty that I made him care about me in the first place

This is the exact reason I believe Love won't save me, I know that eventually my partner will want more and things I will be unable to provide, and even if I could, it would just mean continuing to exist when deep down I don't want to.
It's the reason I self-sabotage any relationship I may or may not fall into.

 

[abchia]

Maybe? It might help me keep going for a bit, maybe my thoughts will change. But for now, it's just delaying the inevitable.

 

[iloveeetreeeess1]

maybe but nothing lasts forever, the high of love eventually leaves and when it does for me personally ill be back to square one

 

[Nocturnal Ghoul]

I don't think it would fix me 100% but one of my biggest issues right now is loneliness and a severe lack of intimacy/touch deprivation. I get panic attacks occasionally from the immense feeling of loneliness to the point my chest starts to tighten up and I start breathing heavily. Whenever I get like that, I just have this intense desire to be hugged by someone.

 

[PuppyCatTeeth]

My boyfriend makes me feel even more lonely because he doesn't understand my depression. Hes very kind but I wish I never met him so I had fewer things to worry about.

 

[Kinasea]

If they are a match made in heaven perfect parter then it would definitely delay me, but i would probably still end up doing it eventually. In the best case scenario assuming everything else in my life goes right i might consider suppressing the urge for the rest of my life and just trying to get by.

 

[astr4]

Not romantic love, but unconditional parental love.

I used to fantasize about an older adult, sometimes it was a teacher, a nice neighbour, whatever, seeing what was happening with my parents and taking me under their wing. Seeing the best parts of me, cherishing me, believing in me with all their heart.

They wouldn't even necessarily need to adopt me, but the idea that this person would always be there and listen to me non-judgementally and no matter what I do in life they wouldn't look down on me or call me names, they would just see me and know I was doing my best and give me a hug and words of wisdom.

I think of them being like a therapist-type, someone older, wiser, who would care about me and care about my life and really. Believe in me. Not treat me like a burden. Value my company and the things I have to say. Be endlessly patient with me.

It's so sad to think about it. I just really want someone to tell me I'm a good person and validate my pain and re-parent me essentially. I don't want it to be romantic because that's transactional; I would need to offer romance back.

I just wish so badly to be loved the way I deserved as a kid. And I think that's the only thing that would really truly stop me from CTB. And maybe I'm meant to offer that to myself but I don't know how. This is so painful.

 

[Petrichor]

I can't speak for myself, I think I'm just a little fucked in the head because my lover adores everything about me, including every flaw or insecurity of mine and I am his world, but I still want to CTB. My SI has significantly lessened, but things like my SH, ED, depression, anxiety etc etc haven't gotten any better, and in the end I would like to leave this world by my own terms. I would prefer to be in control of my own death rather then have some uncontrollable factor end it.

My partner on the other hand, he is facing a completely different situation. He was going to CTB before he met me, he had everything planned, his like, profound love for me saved himself. We were just friends for six months before getting together, and even at that stage he didn't have to know I loved him for him to be saved. He just needed to love me? Which in itself is so admirable..

In the end I believe that being loved is an incredibly strong deciding factor that may save people, but I don't think it can or would stop everyone from CTB. Many aren't fortunate enough to find the one for them who will love them unconditionally, but maybe, I think loving something or someone could lead to enough love and passion in where you can eventually save or heal yourself.

 

[Leiot]

Will finding love save you from CTB? Not directly. Nothing external can truly make us happy, but he/she can point us in the right direction.

 

[Calliandras]

If It was from the right person (my ex), then absolutely. His love is everything I wished for these past 5 years since he left me. I am fully aware It wouldn't solve any of my real problems, but It would give me a reason to keep going. Right now i have none, It seems like I Lost all hability to feel good things, I don't even like eating anymore. But I miss him everyday, and If he came back then I think I would be happy, at least for a while.