Venting why was i never able to do anything?

[hajnalka]

basically, all my life i feel like i have been unable to achieve anything worthwhile. i mostly do what i feel most like in the moment, so this makes it almost impossible to achieve anything needing long-term commitment. why am i this way? why is it that so many people do things that feel uncomfortable for a longer-term goal but i seem to be unable to?

 

[nbk4755]

I can empathize. I feel my life has just been repeated failure, I have nothing I can look at and be proud of, I have no talent or skill, and I feel like my brain is fundamental diseased in a way that prevents me from ever accomplishing anything. I try to find goals but I just cannot force myself to care, and I end up just letting things go past me without reaching for them. It hurts even more knowing that (especially earlier in my life) I was purely focused on finding some form of 'success' and not having interest in people, relationships, passions, etc. and it still ended up with me getting nothing in return. I think at this point my brain had recognized its incompetence and just given up, unable to do anything outside of the bare minimum. Even the things I still think I enjoy, I just don't pursue them further; I like music and I've always wanted to be a artist of some sort but even with the available means I just don't bother trying, and when I do I fall into frustration and give up quickly. Everyone around me feels human and I don't. I think this has been the largest source of dissatisfaction, knowing that no matter how much I sacrifice of myself it will never amount to anything solely because I am my own limiting factor. I don't want to live this life of passive ineptitude but my mind just seems to fight me and scatter my thought, I am unable to change.

Sorry for rambling with my barely tangential personal issues. Wishing the best for you.

 

[LostinTime24]

I've thought about this alot and just recently came to the conclusion I think for me it was a toxic household and being bullied at school. I just hid from the world as much as possible and didn't have the confidence to try as hard as I could have in many aspects of life. Now that I realize that at a much older age I can't change a lot of those now and I'm just filled with regret. Not sure if you can relate

 

[derpyderpins]

basically, all my life i feel like i have been unable to achieve anything worthwhile. i mostly do what i feel most like in the moment, so this makes it almost impossible to achieve anything needing long-term commitment. why am i this way? why is it that so many people do things that feel uncomfortable for a longer-term goal but i seem to be unable to?

The standards are so high. Our awareness of other's accomplishments is 100x that of any other generation. The only way we can really feel like we've achieved is to be at the very top. It's hard to long term commit when we're aware the odds of the success we want is so low.

Just a good job, not a great job; just a good partner, not the best (so many stick with none); small success in our side creative pursuits; only a decent life. It doesn't seem worth it.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

I've thought about this alot and just recently came to the conclusion I think for me it was a toxic household and being bullied at school. I just hid from the world as much as possible and didn't have the confidence to try as hard as I could have in many aspects of life. Now that I realize that at a much older age I can't change a lot of those now and I'm just filled with regret. Not sure if you can relate

Sounds like me to a tee. Unfortunately hiding from the world meant not getting prompt treatment for health issues and here I am.

 

[devils~advocate]

I've thought about this alot and just recently came to the conclusion I think for me it was a toxic household and being bullied at school. I just hid from the world as much as possible and didn't have the confidence to try as hard as I could have in many aspects of life. Now that I realize that at a much older age I can't change a lot of those now and I'm just filled with regret. Not sure if you can relate

I can relate to this. Growing up, my household was loving and supportive. I am an only child. But I hid from the world as much as possible as teenager and older....had basically no friends in high school, which influenced my confidence in social aspects of life. That part of schooling is where most learn about how to interact with others, how relationships work, what love is about, etc etc. My only other option in life was to try very hard academically and succeeded for the most part..college, post graduate, etc.....but the social part of my life wasn't much if anything at all. I was so shy & scared around people for fear of them criticizing or making fun of me. I feel stunted in a way. I worked so hard to get to a career to only work for idiots, brown-nosers and charlatans. Ive had two spouses cheat on me with people are the opposites of myself. No children with either one, which Im not sure is a good thing or not.

The world is trying to get the point across that I don't belong here. Im listening now and the world is right...Im going to do something about it finally...ctb.