Venting Why is suicide so hard

[BJ1234]

I plan to kms before May, I had many opportunities when I was alone and could have tried to ctb, but everytime i judt dont, even though i really want to kms, but I just cant, may I ask advice from those who have done it before but failed, how did you guys have the will to do it? How could I have that will?

 

[karel1987]

Everybody that did kill themselfs are death. So you can't ask them how the did. I think that people are different wired in there head and some people are more impulsive then others. Add there a little drugs or drink and a way of hanging yourself where you don't have the possibility to back out.

 

[gorexzxz]

We all may be here for the same reason but the journey we took to get here is different. CTB is a process you guide yourself down. If you don't have the willpower then take time to think about it. You don't have to force yourself it will always be your own choice. The will comes from within to look at your situation and decide what you want.

 

[golta]

If you cant really do It, give yourself time. It isnt mandatory and the great majority of people here are going to support you in any path you choose

 

[UKscotty]

We have to look at it in two parts, the physical part of suicide is easy. We all know we can be dead 5 minutes from now with stuff around the home peacefully and reliably.

The emotional part is the difficult bit, despite the stuff people say about hating being alive, wishing they were never born etc etc does not translate into the act of CTB until the person is fully ready to do it.
That only happens once all hope of recovery is gone, the brain gives up and allows us to carry out the last resort.

We frame it up as nonsense like no methods, fear of death, fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of the afterlife etc but its all irrational fear at the end of the day.

 

[willitpass]

Your brain is wired with the urge to live no matter what. Fight or flight or freeze is a biological response to what your brain sees as a threat to your life and well being. Suicide is very much a threat to your life. Your survival instinct will then kick in, most commonly in the form of freeze. You cannot perform the act you were so set on doing just 5 minutes ago. Because suicide goes against your most basic human instinct.

 

[Agon321]

Our beloved body has defense systems.
Including Survival Instinct.
This is probably the most powerful feeling we can feel.
It allows us to survive even in the worst situations.
The problem is that this is a very big difficulty when we want CTB.

So what really is CTB?
This is a complete denial of our nature and our existence.
We must oppose ourselves.
It's damn hard.

People solve this problem in different ways.
Desperation for various reasons, for example extreme physical pain.
Use of stimulants, medicines, etc.
Getting used to CTB.

Unfortunately, even this may not be enough.
It all depends on your current situation and possibilities.
I don't know if there is universal advice.
CTB is a very intimate matter, so each person must approach it individually.

For example, I also struggle with myself.
If it weren't for SI, I wouldn't be in this world in 2022. Unfortunately, I lost this battle, but I intend to win the war. In some sense.

Analyze your situation and create a detailed plan for your method.
This should calm your mind a bit because you will know that you are ready at any time.
Consider the pros and cons of your decision and try to convince yourself.
I do this and it helps me a bit.
Think that something much better awaits you in the afterlife.
Sometimes hope is helpful.

I would really like to give you some very good and specific advice that will help you a lot, but unfortunately I am not able to.
I have a similar problem as you.
Most of us have a similar problem.

Whatever you do, good luck.
It may be useful.

 

[LaughingGoat]

What are the specific thoughts that go through your head or feelings when you are in the position you want to ctb and don't go through with it?

 

[Papa Shinai]

Survival Instinct unfortunately, there'd be no one today without it.