Why haven’t you committed suicide yet?

[Infinite Conscious]

I have an idiot/full-proof method (collision with high speed train). Its only SI holding me back

How about the 5th season of La casa de papel? :)
Until June I was literally waiting for the 3rd season of Dark.

Now I just can't find the courage for hanging or jumping... and somehow can't do it yet to my parents.

I have all the reasons in the world to off myself, and I really can't understand people with a single reason (like sexuality or parents).
I have them all, you name it, I got it... addiction (16 yrs on heroin, 9+7), sexuality, loss of all income/job, loss of apartment, HIV, depression, huge debt, loss of partner/love, social alienation, loss of sex drive due to drugs and meds... And I've been smoking 2 packs a day for 25 years. Nothing. Still looking like a 35 year old model.

And the mind gets used to every step downwards... the rock fucking bottom and can't do it. Yet. But it is inevitable.

 

[Addi_Madd]

The reason I haven't yet is because of my mother, who was the only person in the world to whom I mattered and was more loved than anyone else in her life.

However, she met someone wonderful and is marrying him later this year (my dad her first husband died many years ago, I have zero problems with her remarrying).

I don't want to exist anymore but I know it would probably ruin the wedding if I die before it happens, as I want the day to be an unambiguously happy and joyous event for her. And doing it too soon after would be obnoxious as well. So I'm doing my best to hold On until a bit into next year. It's hard though.

 

[elizabeth.luck]

I'm hoping that one day it will be legalized. I really, really hope. I don't like the idea of "breaking the rules" so to speak. I want to die in a hospital while someone watches over and makes sure everything goes okay.

 

[RandomDude1234]

I don't know. I have thought about it for long. Made plans.

Maybe I'm afraid of missing out. Afraid of the unknown. Afraid of the pain I will cause. I don't know really.

 

[raindrops]

hope and si

 

[rt1989526]

I'm hoping that one day it will be legalized. I really, really hope. I don't like the idea of "breaking the rules" so to speak. I want to die in a hospital while someone watches over and makes sure everything goes okay.

Unfortunately you will be waiting a lifetime.

 

[AMG44]

Waiting for a delivery, and I kind of want to see the James Bond movie when it comes out. I'm hoping for other stuff to happen too

 

[Nicebuddimtim]

I feel guilt. What could be so bad in life that you just want it to end? I can't explain it to anyone because they don't understand and don't know half of it. I fear my family might blame themselves.

 

[nitroautnz]

Until recently, it was SI/scared of failing ctb, and the sadness/pain I will cause to the people I love. But lately i don't have the strength to fight

 

[StateOfMind]

How about the 5th season of La casa de papel? :)
Until June I was literally waiting for the 3rd season of Dark.

Now I just can't find the courage for hanging or jumping... and somehow can't do it yet to my parents.

I have all the reasons in the world to off myself, and I really can't understand people with a single reason (like sexuality or parents).
I have them all, you name it, I got it... addiction (16 yrs on heroin, 9+7), sexuality, loss of all income/job, loss of apartment, HIV, depression, huge debt, loss of partner/love, social alienation, loss of sex drive due to drugs and meds... And I've been smoking 2 packs a day for 25 years. Nothing. Still looking like a 35 year old model.

And the mind gets used to every step downwards... the rock fucking bottom and can't do it. Yet. But it is inevitable.

Seems like a tempting excuse to prolong suffering. There is always be gonna be something small maybe positive but overall its a nightmare.

I'm sorry that you have the problems that you do.

We shouldn't be alive just for the point of living.

 

[lindabread]

Personally, I'm just afraid of failing and ending up as some sort of vegetable. That's really the only reason I haven't suicided already.

I really don't care in the least if my family or friends get sad over my death.

I'm scared

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I'm a weak person.

 

[dec132013]

1) I don't have access to most methods and have to try really obscure shit, everytime I did it my survival instincts would kick in and shut it down

2) Idk how my parents would react, I can't really imagine anyone missing me but it'd probably be gross finding a corpse in your house

 

[Susan Caswell]

Personally, I'm just afraid of failing and ending up as some sort of vegetable. That's really the only reason I haven't suicided already.

I really don't care in the least if my family or friends get sad over my death.

Im same can only think jump and terrified dont die and crippled and still raging tinnitus just want it to stop and let me get well and living my lovely life all was so good i was so well im sorry something has brought you here x

 

[Squiddy]

I'm afraid of hurting my friends and family and fear of a potential hell

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I'm studying for my degree and I wanna see how far I can go.

 

[Silenos]

I'm waiting for season 2 of The Mandalorian and the result of the U.S. presidential election, which is weird because I'm not even American.

 

[SipSop]

I want to make a new thread about my method soon. I want your opinion on it.
Also, I want to push myself in a corner to not have a reason to stay alive.
As now, I have some cash, freedom of choice but they are useless without what I truly want. I still plan. I must do it soon. It doesn't pay off for me to stay alive just for the sake of being alive.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I'm waiting for season 2 of The Mandalorian

Me too. It's excellent. Better than (Disney) movies

 

[draw a circle]

Scared mainly. And lack of good timing. I might do it tomorrow tho

 

[Delia]

i'm afraid, SI is strong, once i had a bottle of sn, anti emetics, benzodiazepines in front of me and i was getting ready to do it and then i got a surge of "'no! your life isn"t over yet! you can overcome all of your problems!" which was most definitely the weirdest shit that ever happened to me

 

[Life_is_comedy]

Hope, faith, revenge and a little bit of cowardice. Really, my religion was the one thing that prevented me from killing myself but after all that's happened in my life, don't think it's gonna stop me now though.

 

[AlreadyGone]

Changing methods. Have SN but truly wanted to go with N (and was working towards). Due to complications with that, hanging is looking more attractive these days.

 

[harmonica]

Changing methods. Have SN but truly wanted to go with N (and was working towards). Due to complications with that, hanging is looking more attractive these days.

What is holding you back from using SN

 

[AlreadyGone]

What is holding you back from using SN

I am not comfortable with the peacefulness. I know the method works. Just not comfortable with the process and I cannot get a hold of Benzos unless I purchase them on the darkweb since I am in the US.

 

[Niirvana]

I tried and I kept failing, and I'm scared if I do it again I'll end up w/ permanent damage

How do u tried?

 

[Deformationalplagio]

Scared of pain and eternal oblivion. I wanted to live so badly but my condition just makes it a living hell.

 

[Niirvana]

I failed before. Found new method but realised i cant do it alone because of stress it causes me. Cant find methods that suit my situation better.

What method did u found?? I would like do it with another person too, not died alone

 

[Vault of Memories]

My date always seems contingent, never set in stone. I'm going to actually book a room for the 26th and hopefully I'll follow through with it.

 

[Nelos]

Gotta pay off my debts and buy Christmas gifts for family.